Original subtitles

Carrie Robertson's a milk drinker. She gets a lot of attention.

From me, she gets total attention.

He's hot.

I think I'm at attention.

Yeah.

Carrie Robertson's got a restraining order against me. But I'm drinking milk,

I know someday she'll come back.

I hate milk.

Milk sucks.

Milk. It's not bad.

Brought to you by your local dairy association.

Hey, Beavis.

I heard if you, like, tip a cow over when it's sleeping, cool stuff happens.

Yeah.

Like what?

Uh, it falls over.

Cool.

We're there, dude.

Da -dun, da -dun, dun, dun, dun.

Uh, is that Michael Jackson?

I think that's that B from that Blind Melon video.

Oh, yeah.

Damn

it.

I'm sick and tired of seeing crap like this.

Yeah, that would be cool if, like, Robin Hood came and, like... Shot you down

with an arrow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rock on, Viva.

This butthole keeps saying he can dance, but it's like he can't dance.

Yeah.

Does he need to, like, go to a Pantera concert and learn how to dance?

Yeah.

So that would be cool.

They'd get their butt flammed around.

Yeah.

They would get their butts kicked.

You follow there?

I'd start kicking that one guy in the neck.

Yeah.

What's up, Doc? Can we rock?

What's up, Doc? Can we rock? Hey, fight.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, fight.

I thought I saw a putty cat. I did.

Whoa.

This guy raps fast.

I'm not that fast.

I can rap faster than that.

Whoa.

That was pretty cool, Viva. Yeah, thanks.

I've been practicing.

Here's another one.

Cool. Yeah.

Batman!

Batman!

Batman!

Whoa,

that dude just hit Shaq attack.

Yeah, he's gonna get an ass kick.

Uh... Uh... Horde... Horde?

Um... Uh... Prost... Prostitute?

Hey, Beavis, they have whores and prostitutes here. Yeah, yeah.

After we get done tipping the cows over, we should go, like, look at them.

You don't just look at them, asswipe. You, like, look at them naked.

Hey, Beavis.

There's one.

Yeah, yeah.

Tip! Tip!

Yeah. Tip!

Tip! Fall over! Settle down, Beavis.

You're having a cow.

Hey, Beavis.

Pull its tail.

No way.

Maybe milk will come out of his butt.

Yeah.

Chocolate milk.

Yeah.

That's hot.

Yeah.

Ow.

Getting kicked in the nads by a cow sucks.

I don't think that was a cow, dude.

I think that was, like, a deer.

How do you know?

It didn't have those fingers.

What fingers?

You know, those fingers by the cow's butt that you squeeze to get, like, milk

and stuff? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Hey, butthead, squeeze my finger.

Which one, Beavis?

The finger by your butt?

Yeah.

Pull that one.

Old MacDonald had a farm.

E -I -Z.

Is there like a Q in there? Yeah, yeah.

E -I -Q -V -M.

This one's okay.

Okay, Beavis.

You get down behind him, and I'll push him over you.

This is gonna be cool.

Yeah, yeah.

Ready,

dude? Yeah.

Go for it.

Yeah, yeah.

Come on, help!

You're touching his butt.

It seems that the problem is very deep.

Every time I try to sleep, I have nightmares.

Hey, butthead. I had this nightmare last night that, like, everything sucked.

It was really scary.

But, Viva, everything does suck.

Take it easy, Beavis.

It really fucks when you do that.

No!

Cut it out, Beavis.

You know what? I bet these guys, like, went to college and stuff. Yeah, yeah.

I bet they, like, paid attention, too.

Yeah.

And, uh, you know, like, one thing about college, Beavis? Yeah, yeah.

It fucks.

So cool.

Not worth it.

Hey, Beavis, you know what else sucks?

Shut up, Beavis.

I haven't even told you yet.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Every time you do that, it sucks.

No!

Get off me.

Get off him, asswipe.

Where you boy going to buy a cow?

Uh, your cow's, like, broken, sir.

Come on, get it off. I gotta pee. Come on, get it off me.

Well, if a poor dumb creature was born and bred for slaughter, so I reckon

ain't no harm done in accelerating its departure from God's earth.

Let me fix my chainsaw.

This is going to be cool.

Oh, yeah.

Well,

the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

First time back, boy.

Best of luck will get me.