Original subtitles

Okay, people. We have a guest from the Christian Businessmen's Association to

tell us about a really neat event down at the mall.

So then the power goes out, right? And, like, all the dinosaurs bust out of the

pens. Cool.

Is this a true story?

Of course it is, dillweed. They got the idea off a book.

Please give Mr.

Cobb your full attention.

Hey, young students.

I'm Clark Cobb from Cobb's Family Hardware.

Here's the deal.

Saturday morning, us Christian businessmen is going to set up a wall

front of the Towtown shoe store.

Now, the idea is for the local youth to put artworks and poetry on it. It's

going to be a real pride booster.

Then, this one dinosaur, he spits his poison crap on this fat guy's face.

And then, he attacks the dude in his own car.

The dinosaur had a car?

How else do you think he got there, dumbass? On a bike? Shut up, butthole.

Okay, people. This sounds like a really wonderful opportunity to be creative.

Who wants to contribute to the wall of youth?

I believe Beavis and Butthead could use a creative outlet.

Beavis and Butter, y 'all be sure to be down at the tow town by 8 .30 in the a

.m.

Yo, shoot him, Bill.

Yeah, Bill.

Yeah, yeah. I feel a dope groove coming on.

Yeah.

Rock on, Viva.

A -O -R -G.

Which one? The bow.

It's that guy.

Oh, yeah.

These guys are cool.

Yeah.

They kick butt.

Bivens is a cool one, huh?

He's the dude who was on the toilet taking a dump in that Boyz II Men video.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's cool.

He's, like, reading the newspaper and stuff.

Yeah. They should, like, all be on toilet in this video, too.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, cool.

I like that other video these guys did.

Do me.

Yeah, yeah.

Do me, baby.

Yeah. I like that one because it's about, you know.

See right there, they could put a toilet.

Instead of them dancing, they could all be on toilets.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I feel like right now she's looking for a parking plate, and then she could,

like, go to the toilet, and they could show it.

Yeah.

Now you're catching on, Beaver.

Yeah, yeah.

This sucks.

Yeah. Change of channel.

Hey,

baby. What are you doing?

I'm writing a poem.

It's about a girl whose lover, an honors English teacher, dies in a boating

accident, and she's so sad.

She drowns herself in a hidden pond at their secret meeting place. It's called

The Weeping Pool.

Cool.

Yeah. Was that guy, like, decapitated?

Whoa, look.

What's that?

It is an homage to the greatest artist of all times.

How come there's no chicks?

It's Picasso, you idiot.

Pick your own asshole.

Asshole. Picasso.

Picasso.

Idiot.

This sucks.

Let's watch TV.

Yeah.

From Veterans Memorial are inscribed the thousands of names of servicemen who

gave their lives in that bitter conflict.

Each day, visitors remember the dead, leaving flowers, notes, pictures, and

some former comrades, beer and cigarettes.

Cool. Yeah.

Hey,

Beaver.

I'm starting to feel like...

Artistic.

Stay tuned to see Beavis and Butthead

totally new.

Maybe.

So why do we have a wall of youth?

Good question, Socko. You see, it's simple.

When youth gets to express themselves in an artistic type manner...

then they won't express themselves on the street or with a whole lot of back

talk. So, it's an excuse to let it all hang out?

Well,

don't worry, Socko. If it ain't in line with good Christian beliefs, it won't

stay up on the wall of youth.

And now to unveil this shooting match, here's our celebrity judge, the movie

critic for the Valley Weekly, Geoff DiPino.

There's so much pain in the world. It's a pleasure to see life free of

disappointment, corruption.

I wish, I wish nothing. It's too late.

Here goes.

What in the heck?

It's brilliant.

Who did this? Come on up here.

I bet we win some hardware.

Yeah.

Chainsaw.

Tell us, what's behind this powerful, spontaneous gesture?

Um... It's a tribute to the people who died in the Vietnam War.

We did it!

Last thing we kill the bastards.

It's a desecration.

My brother went to Nam. My uncle's a vet.

Get him! Get him!

Get him!

Is

this

a joke?

Yeah. I think it's supposed to be funny.

Hey, check it out. It's Jeremy.

He's still running.

How come Jeremy's always, like, hanging out in the woods?

Uh, I don't know.

I think

I saw this dude in Burger World once.

Pretty good, Viva.

You suck almost as much as this dude.

Look at this guy.

Did I mention that this fuck... But if I, you know, can't

hurt to say it again.

Tell us again about the end of the world, fucko.

Well, Beavis, it's going to suck.

Yeah.

And then, like, the world blows up.

Yeah. It collides with a big asteroid.

Yeah. It's going to be cool.

Hey, my butt itches.

Scratch my butt, fucko. Yeah.

Go to work. Yeah, yeah.

Melton?

I think this is poison.

Uh, really?

Poisons suck.

Yeah, yeah.

Wait a minute, these are chicks.

This isn't poison.

I thought poison was chicks.

No, Beavis, Nelson is chicks.

Well, they all suck.

Can I buy you a drink?

These chicks would not talk to us.

Yeah, yeah.

But it's like, I bet if we were driving their bus, it's like, they really had to

pull over and go to the bathroom, then they'd talk to us.

Yeah.

They'd say, pull over, butt munch. I gotta take a dump.