Original subtitles

Ooh, of course we cannot accept that. Everyone knows the country's full name

Outer Mongolia.

You dumbass.

And of course, as always, I would remind you to phrase your responses in the

form of a question.

What are you, a dumbass?

I'll take cars for 200.

Consumer advocate Ralph Nader called this sporty GM model introduced in 1959

unsafe at any speed.

What is a Corvair?

Correct. Tabitha, you control the board.

You dumbass.

I'll take health for 400, Alex.

Whether you're healthy or sick, doctors agree you need a complete one of these

once a year.

Uh, what's a shower?

Dude, if you have to ask, you'll never know.

I think love connection's on channel five.

Okay, Tabitha, how much are you willing to wager on your knowledge of opera?

I'll bet $10 ,000, Alex.

Cool. The battery's leaking acid.

That's not cool, dude. A new battery will cost two bucks at least.

I don't know where we're going to get that

kind of cash.

Cool.

Yeah.

That's pretty cool.

Screwing it up. That's not how it goes.

I didn't screw it up.

You just don't know how to groove, white boy.

Don't make me smack you again.

Whoa.

Their faces look like gold.

Yeah.

Like a movie goldfinger.

When they cover that cake in gold? Yeah.

That was cool.

And at the end of the movie, 007 takes that tattoo dude and puts him in a

suitcase and strings him up on a pole.

Yeah.

And you said gold.

These guys rock.

Yeah. And their hair is cool.

Yeah.

Did I

mention that this was cool?

Yeah. This kid's butt.

Hey, Beavis.

Next car that comes down the street?

You run in front of it, pretend to get hit, and then act like you hurt your

liver or something.

Yeah, cool.

What for, dude?

I'll say I'm, like, your lawyer, and I'll tell the driver to, like, pay us

so we don't sue.

We could make ten bucks.

We're there, dude.

Whoa, check it out.

Cool wheels.

I bet if we, like, had this kind of car, we could, you know, drive girls around

in it.

Cool.

What for, dude?

Uh... I don't know.

You know, I bet whoever owns this car is loaded, dude.

Yeah.

Loaded with money.

Like the car?

It's my pride and joy.

A 1959 Corvair.

Whoa.

Yes, sir. I've sunk my entire nest egg into that car.

Had to pull my kids out of school to pay for the upkeep, but it was worth it.

Cool.

I got an idea.

Maybe you kids like to wash it for me, huh? I'll pay you $5.

Worth there, dude.

Yeah.

Don't forget the detailing, boys.

I'm going out for a jog. Be back in an hour.

Whoa. Maybe we should, uh, dry it off now.

No way.

I mean dry it off by driving it.

The keys are in the car, dude.

Cool.

Cool,

dude. We're burning up the road.

Let's find a deer crossing.

We're there, dude.

Yellow light, butthead. Step on the gas.

Red light, dude. Hit the brake.

Whoa.

Did you cut the chief?

Asswipe.

Cool.

I'll do the talking, dude.

What the hell?

Hey, go ahead and touch your liver.

Yeah.

Ah! My liver! My liver!

My liver! Lower down, dude.

Oh. Yeah. My liver! My liver!

My liver!

What a wood.

Is that Bridget Fonda?

Yeah.

Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda.

My Anaconda don't want none unless it's got fun.

I'm a cowboy.

Riding in a steel horse across the great woods plain.

Baby, I want you.

Baby, I want you.

Like the rodents want the rain.

Like the rodents want the rain?

That's stupid.

Yeah, yeah.

He butted.

Remember when these guys were cool?

Uh.

She probably liked these guys.

What? Shut up about it. I hate these guys.

I'm thinking of, like, somebody else.

Cool,

dude. This beats driving.

Yeah.

Do that thing you do.

This chick is hot.

Yeah.

I'd like her music a lot better, though, if she,

like, didn't wear as much clothes.

Yeah. If she was, like, completely naked, I might go out and buy the album.

Yeah.

of those ribbons that all the rock stars wear when they get an award yeah what

are those things they're like these ribbons that they give you when you get

of those awards for like being rich or something yeah being rich is cool if

you're like rich yeah you can buy like fast cars and like houses and like

ribbons yeah