Original subtitles

At the Tugman Research Center, new experiments are being conducted that

shown progress in many areas of laser -assisted surgery.

Butthead! Butthead! Come here, quick!

Bare ass on TV!

In the early stages, many forms of colon cancer can now be cured, according to

Dr. Dorfcock.

Here at the Institute, we have found... Whoa.

PBS is pretty cool.

His teeth are whiter than

white. Yes, they're white.

I didn't get your name.

These guys live on the edge.

Yeah.

The edge of what cliff?

This is Joey Buttafuoco's theme song.

Let's find something that rocks.

Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are

pretty.

Won't you please take me home? Shut up, dumbass. This isn't Paradise City.

Oh, yeah.

This is cool.

Yeah.

Garbage is cool.

Yeah. I like wind, too.

Wind is cool.

Yeah.

That would be cool if we had like garbage blowing around in the house.

Yeah.

Let's take garbage and throw it on the floor. Yeah.

Don't make me kick your ass again. I kicked your ass, but just because I was

sick. Yeah.

And I would also like two fish sandwiches, one chicken sandwich with

cheese, and no tomatoes.

And I also need three cheeseburgers. One with mayonnaise and lettuce, one with

pickles, lettuce, and ketchup, and one with mustard, lettuce, tomatoes, onions,

and pickles.

Are you ready to rock?

Ladies and gentlemen, won't you please rock?

I heard Houston loves to party.

Asswipe, I was about to have a wet dream.

Why is that guy eating dinner with those old people?

Maybe he's in trouble.

Whoa, he's got a comb in his back pocket.

Yes! Cool.

Kiss rules.

Yeah.

These guys are pretty cool for a bunch of mimes. Yeah.

These mimes are cool because they, like, make lots of noise and scream.

I hate it when you're, like, at the fair and some mime comes up and gets in your

face and doesn't say anything.

I usually kick them in the nuts.

Yeah, yeah, that's when they start saying stuff.

I

like

when he sticks his long tongue out.

Yes! Yes!

Anything yet?

Are you sure you're licking right?

Yeah.

I don't get it. It's supposed to pack an awesome buzz.

Tastes like chicken.

Here,

Toadie.

What's that noise?

Didn't this guy used to be in movies?

Yeah.

He was Gumby.

Oh, yeah.

Is Pokey gonna get his own video, too?

Yeah.

Pokey kicks ass.

Change it.

What the hell is this crap?

Go Speed Racer!

Go Speed Racer!

Is this like elevator music?

Yeah.

Elevators suck.

This is like children's music.

Yeah. Like nursery rhymes.

Who are these guys?

They're called, uh -huh.

Yeah.

They're called, uh -huh.

Whoa.

That table is cool.

Are

these guys,

like, yodeling?

No, dude. They're, like, scroteling.

Sounds cool.

Yodeling sucks.

How come British guys always sing so wimpy?

Like that Billy Joel dude?

Yeah. He sucks.

Check it out, butthead. Three wheelers.

Yeah.

Those are cool.

I heard if you, like, turn really sharp on those, they'll turn over and crush

you. That would be cool.

Yeah, yeah.

And if you peel out, you can tear up all the plants.

Yeah.

That's cool.

Divers.

Go down.

Yeah, yeah.

This is like a James Bond movie.

Yeah. They need that short guy hand job to come out.

You said job.

Is this like an Irish spring commercial?

Am I stronger than I care to be?

Yeah.

It is a manly soap.

Manly, yes, but Beavis likes it too.

Shut up, bunghole.

I'll kick your ass.

Shut up, butthead.