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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,999 --> 00:00:19,600 You two are the worst students this school has ever had! And now because of 2 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:23,280 no -child -left -behind law, we may lose our funding! 3 00:00:23,540 --> 00:00:25,060 Teachers will get laid off! 4 00:00:25,260 --> 00:00:26,640 I could lose my job! 5 00:00:28,650 --> 00:00:30,930 Did you say something about a child's behind? 6 00:00:31,410 --> 00:00:36,610 He definitely said something about a child's left behind. I heard him. 7 00:00:37,210 --> 00:00:39,490 No wonder you're going to lose your job. 8 00:00:39,710 --> 00:00:40,710 Shut up! 9 00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:42,250 How dare you! 10 00:00:42,650 --> 00:00:48,310 Okay, let's all calm down for a moment. Now, Beavis, Butthead, because next 11 00:00:48,310 --> 00:00:51,440 week's standardized test is... So important. 12 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:57,020 We're going to use all of our best resources at Highland High School to 13 00:00:57,020 --> 00:00:58,020 prepare, okay? 14 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:02,080 It's a waste of time. They'll never get it. They're morons. They have the worst 15 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:06,320 grades I've ever seen. Well, that just means that these boys have the most room 16 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:07,320 for improvement. 17 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:10,440 Remember, it's all about helping the children. 18 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:11,800 Yeah. 19 00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:14,370 Just keep them away from their behinds. 20 00:01:14,590 --> 00:01:16,610 You see that? Right there. 21 00:01:16,830 --> 00:01:18,370 That's what I'm talking about. 22 00:01:18,650 --> 00:01:20,710 Hey, you know, whatever you're into. 23 00:01:21,890 --> 00:01:23,870 Like child's behinds. 24 00:01:24,390 --> 00:01:28,990 That's not what I meant. I was talking about no child left behind. 25 00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:30,290 There he goes again. 26 00:01:31,930 --> 00:01:32,930 Behind. 27 00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,410 I found somebody. 28 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:42,200 The rest of the house left the situation, but I got lean cuisine. 29 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,960 That dog needs a tan. 30 00:01:45,420 --> 00:01:46,420 Yeah, really. 31 00:01:48,260 --> 00:01:51,180 He's going to take those dogs into the smush room. 32 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:57,360 So are those dogs guidos, too? 33 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,880 I don't know, but they better be DTF. 34 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:06,560 I can speak to them. Now I can sit back and watch the master plan. 35 00:02:09,079 --> 00:02:11,760 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 36 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,320 Oh, hell yeah. 37 00:02:16,580 --> 00:02:18,100 Oh, hell yeah, yeah. 38 00:02:18,740 --> 00:02:20,540 The master plan is going down. 39 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,220 So that was his master plan? 40 00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:26,080 To have the dogs, like, poop on the rug? 41 00:02:27,820 --> 00:02:29,240 That's a good plan, yeah. 42 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:35,560 Well, see, a better master plan would have been for the situation to poop on 43 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:37,720 floor and then blame it on the dogs, eh? 44 00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:40,620 Wow. 45 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:42,620 That's pretty good, Beavis. 46 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,060 That proves that you're even smarter than the situation. 47 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:50,180 Well, I mean, I don't know. I don't know if I'd go that far. 48 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,240 It'd be cool to meet him sometime, you know. 49 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:57,660 Let's talk about, like, poop and stuff and, you know, master plans. 50 00:02:58,020 --> 00:02:59,020 I don't know. 51 00:03:01,620 --> 00:03:05,920 And now my little lovelies will go forth and poop. 52 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:09,380 As I go upstairs to my lair. 53 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,360 Something smells like poop. 54 00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:14,620 And that something is poop. 55 00:03:14,980 --> 00:03:15,980 There's poop here. 56 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,340 There's poop over here. 57 00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:21,080 It's like Easter, but with poop. 58 00:03:23,260 --> 00:03:27,280 The master plan unfolds. 59 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,200 Right? Okay. It's definitely me. 60 00:03:34,890 --> 00:03:38,630 Would you let the dogs roam the house? No, no, I was sleeping the whole time. 61 00:03:38,790 --> 00:03:40,730 Boy, this guy's a horrible liar. 62 00:03:41,690 --> 00:03:45,950 Don't even let them out. I was asleep. What happened? 63 00:03:46,150 --> 00:03:49,690 Did they poop everywhere or something? In Vinny's room or something? 64 00:03:50,210 --> 00:03:51,750 I'm surprised by that question. 65 00:03:52,290 --> 00:03:54,790 Don't even let them out. 66 00:03:55,010 --> 00:03:56,010 That's crazy. 67 00:03:56,790 --> 00:03:59,030 Low grades reflect a lack of goals. 68 00:03:59,670 --> 00:04:02,190 I thought it was because we're stupid. 69 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,380 Not at all. So what do you want out of life? 70 00:04:06,820 --> 00:04:08,920 I want a score. 71 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:10,720 Yeah, with two chicks. 72 00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:12,900 And I want money, too. 73 00:04:13,540 --> 00:04:15,040 That would be cool. 74 00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:18,519 What about your higher aspiration? 75 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,860 Ass. Whoa, you're into behinds, too? 76 00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:25,540 You and McVicar should hang out. 77 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,380 You know, I think you need to talk to our school therapist. 78 00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:30,660 Right now. 79 00:04:32,140 --> 00:04:34,340 Some students get test anxiety. 80 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:39,060 Triggered by pressure, the clock, even the sight of a number two pencil. 81 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:43,080 What you need to learn is to find your happy place. 82 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:44,640 Really? 83 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:46,780 During a test? 84 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,500 I could pass that one. 85 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:52,660 Close your eyes. 86 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:55,760 Okay. I want you to make friends with your stress. 87 00:04:57,180 --> 00:04:58,940 You have any porn? 88 00:04:59,470 --> 00:05:01,690 That would help. Our eyes are closed, dumbass. 89 00:05:02,910 --> 00:05:05,990 Could you, like, describe the porn to us? 90 00:05:06,650 --> 00:05:12,690 I think we're all done here. I'm going to go ahead and send you boys back to 91 00:05:12,690 --> 00:05:13,690 your teachers now. 92 00:05:14,750 --> 00:05:20,450 Okay, Beavis, Butthead, these teachers have all agreed to help you prepare for 93 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:21,450 the state test. 94 00:05:21,650 --> 00:05:24,130 Okay? So let the learning begin. 95 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,940 A prime number is a number that has only two divisors, one and itself. 96 00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:32,200 Martin Van Buren was the eighth president. 97 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:36,840 I before E except after T. Every action has an equal and opposite real. Every 98 00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:40,340 positive number has two square roots. One positive and one negative. 99 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:43,220 One positive and one negative. 100 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:46,620 One positive and one negative. 101 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:48,880 Whoa. 102 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:51,800 I just got something. 103 00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:57,150 Number two pencil. 104 00:05:58,290 --> 00:06:00,250 Number two. 105 00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:07,050 Number two. 106 00:06:10,210 --> 00:06:13,810 Be sure 107 00:06:13,810 --> 00:06:20,670 to write your name on the 108 00:06:20,670 --> 00:06:21,670 answer document. 109 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:26,830 Okay? Don't spend too much time on any one question. If you don't know the 110 00:06:26,830 --> 00:06:29,330 answer, move on to the next question, okay? 111 00:06:30,070 --> 00:06:31,470 And everybody ready? 112 00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:33,430 And go. 113 00:06:35,750 --> 00:06:36,750 Uh. 114 00:06:37,290 --> 00:06:38,290 Hmm. 115 00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:40,230 Okay. 116 00:06:41,390 --> 00:06:42,390 B. 117 00:06:43,010 --> 00:06:44,010 B. 118 00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:48,690 A. Wait a second. B. E. 119 00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:50,630 Uh. Hey. 120 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,280 How do you spell butthead? 121 00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:55,300 Butthead, eyes on your own paper, okay? 122 00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:58,220 E -A... Damn it. 123 00:06:58,520 --> 00:06:59,700 This test is hard. 124 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:02,660 You said hard. 125 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:06,100 I say hard all the time. What's funny about that? 126 00:07:08,180 --> 00:07:10,360 Beavis, no talking, okay? 127 00:07:11,380 --> 00:07:13,500 Yeah, no talking, Beavis. Ow! 128 00:07:13,780 --> 00:07:14,780 Damn it! 129 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:18,540 Beavis, I'm not going to tell you again, okay? 130 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:19,960 Good. 131 00:07:20,350 --> 00:07:22,150 I'm getting tired of hearing it. Ow! 132 00:07:22,350 --> 00:07:23,410 Cut it out, butthole! 133 00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:25,170 You idiots! 134 00:07:25,470 --> 00:07:30,230 The future of this school is riding on this! So you shut up and concentrate 135 00:07:30,230 --> 00:07:35,130 right now! Look, guys, I think what Principal McVicar is trying to say is 136 00:07:35,130 --> 00:07:38,250 it's really time to hunker down and get serious, okay? 137 00:07:45,870 --> 00:07:49,870 Uh... B -E -A... Uh... 138 00:07:50,990 --> 00:07:52,430 Beef. Beefus. 139 00:07:53,510 --> 00:07:54,510 Mr. 140 00:07:56,430 --> 00:07:57,430 Head. 141 00:07:58,090 --> 00:07:59,310 I'm all done. 142 00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:04,350 Your name? 143 00:08:04,790 --> 00:08:06,470 All this time? 144 00:08:06,970 --> 00:08:08,490 And that's all you wrote was your name? 145 00:08:08,850 --> 00:08:10,790 Yeah, I wrote my name, too. See? 146 00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:12,570 Beefeth. 147 00:08:12,930 --> 00:08:14,370 Now, wait a minute. Wait, wait. That's not right. 148 00:08:15,170 --> 00:08:16,250 What's wrong with you? 149 00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,350 I'm not going to let you ruin everything. 150 00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:20,690 You're not going to rob me of my pension. 151 00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:24,250 I can do better without even looking at the questions. 152 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,940 A, C, E, B, C. It doesn't even matter. 153 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:30,480 Principal McVicker cheating? 154 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:34,140 I'm afraid I'm going to have to report this, okay? 155 00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:36,700 Yeah, well, you can't report it because you're fired. 156 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,340 It's your fault that they're so damn stupid. 157 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:44,039 Whoa, he should make friends with his stress. 158 00:08:44,740 --> 00:08:47,700 Yeah, maybe he'd calm down if he could see a child's behind. 159 00:08:49,260 --> 00:08:50,260 He's into that. 160 00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:01,210 Well, look at this guy. He's got his whole day ahead of him, you know? 161 00:09:01,650 --> 00:09:04,670 Strolling down to the beach with the speakers the wrong way. 162 00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:07,890 Not a care in the world, you know? 163 00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:10,550 Whoa! 164 00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:12,350 Oh, 165 00:09:13,050 --> 00:09:14,250 no. 166 00:09:15,390 --> 00:09:18,150 Well, at least he died before they started singing. 167 00:09:20,130 --> 00:09:23,890 There was a schlong just then, but I'm not going to say anything about it. 168 00:09:24,770 --> 00:09:27,910 It's like, these guys both look like asswipes. 169 00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,210 but in two completely different ways. 170 00:09:30,730 --> 00:09:33,290 Yeah, they compliment each other, you know? 171 00:09:34,430 --> 00:09:36,790 Let's see, what else can I do to be an asswipe? 172 00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:40,490 Let's see, maybe I'll steal some jump ropes from some little girls. 173 00:09:42,230 --> 00:09:43,970 Steal some money from a homeless guy. 174 00:09:44,590 --> 00:09:45,449 What else? 175 00:09:45,450 --> 00:09:46,610 Eh, boy. 176 00:09:47,570 --> 00:09:52,070 It's like if their music by itself didn't make you hate them, they're 177 00:09:52,070 --> 00:09:53,070 plenty of other reasons. 178 00:09:54,610 --> 00:09:56,510 I bet deaf people hate them, too. 179 00:09:58,290 --> 00:10:00,430 I'm glad these guys found each other. 180 00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:04,170 I wonder how they met. 181 00:10:04,390 --> 00:10:08,010 They were probably, like, pushing over some kid's sandcastle. 182 00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:13,270 And they were like, Whoa, you have tight jeans and converse all -stars just like 183 00:10:13,270 --> 00:10:14,270 me. 184 00:10:14,410 --> 00:10:17,230 Do you like shoving little kids? I do, too. 185 00:10:18,270 --> 00:10:19,330 Let's start a band. 186 00:10:24,940 --> 00:10:28,020 That's how we roll through the Century 21 branch office. 187 00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:30,900 Biatch. 188 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,320 Yeah, yeah, take that. 189 00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:35,320 Your walls are clean now. 190 00:10:38,740 --> 00:10:44,900 More allegations of cheating on the state standardized test. 191 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:48,440 Only this time, the accused is a high school principal. 192 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,200 Yeah. 193 00:10:50,980 --> 00:10:53,420 Principal McVicker, do you care to comment on the charges? 194 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:55,160 It's not me. It's them. 195 00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:57,000 They're ruining our school. 196 00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:58,500 They ruin everything. 197 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,060 Hey, Beavis. 198 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,460 I just drew a number two with my number two. 199 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:06,419 Oh, yeah. 200 00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:07,600 Yeah, not bad. 201 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:10,200 Might want to add a little shading. 202 00:11:11,140 --> 00:11:12,140 Maybe some lines. 203 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:16,320 Yeah. 13955