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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:18,470 Not a funny day, things are going my way. 2 00:00:18,790 --> 00:00:22,430 Gonna have some fun with my best friend. 3 00:00:23,050 --> 00:00:26,450 A lot of friends, they can't go to work. 4 00:00:27,250 --> 00:00:29,990 Spend some time with the kids. 5 00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:32,970 Spend some time with my best friend. 6 00:00:33,690 --> 00:00:39,050 Spend some time with my best friend. 7 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:56,440 Hello, 8 00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,380 lady. Security! 9 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:06,020 Every day we go through this. Now stay out. 10 00:01:12,850 --> 00:01:14,850 Where should we go now, butthead? 11 00:01:17,270 --> 00:01:18,290 Butthead? 12 00:01:19,650 --> 00:01:20,670 Wall. 13 00:01:22,270 --> 00:01:23,270 Wall. 14 00:01:26,830 --> 00:01:28,870 The mall rules. 15 00:01:29,270 --> 00:01:30,270 Oh, yeah. 16 00:01:38,530 --> 00:01:41,310 Snooki crying or barfing? 17 00:01:43,950 --> 00:01:45,850 What are you skanks crying about? 18 00:01:46,350 --> 00:01:48,110 What's the problem here? 19 00:01:50,070 --> 00:01:51,750 We will take care of you. 20 00:01:53,110 --> 00:01:54,450 What's it going to be, this mushroom? 21 00:01:55,250 --> 00:01:59,250 The only people that I trust in this house are you, Ploy, and Jenny. 22 00:01:59,650 --> 00:02:01,170 Good. We work here for you, too. 23 00:02:01,450 --> 00:02:04,930 Well, they're the only people she trusts, but they're not the only people 24 00:02:04,930 --> 00:02:05,930 has sex with. 25 00:02:06,850 --> 00:02:07,850 I love you. 26 00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:12,100 He's like my big brother. I love him. But you usually don't have sex with your 27 00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:13,059 big brother. 28 00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:14,060 Yeah. 29 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,900 She usually doesn't have sex with her big brother. 30 00:02:19,060 --> 00:02:22,540 But, you know, sometimes, you know, you're DTF, you know, no one else is 31 00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:23,700 It's dark. 32 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,160 Mom and dad are at the movies. 33 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:33,160 Me and Jenny wanted to do the hookup board. If you hooked up with this 34 00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:36,660 then you could have possibly hooked up with this person just by swapping the 35 00:02:36,660 --> 00:02:40,400 spit. Stop swapping spit. Let's do one after the other. So, Mike being with 36 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:45,580 and Ron, I mean... This is like a family tree if your family was made of whores. 37 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,380 Mike being with Angelina. 38 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,420 This is all too complicated for me. 39 00:02:56,700 --> 00:03:00,020 Let's just all go down to the smush room and spit on each other. 40 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:06,640 If they, like, did this chart long enough, they could find out where herpes 41 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:07,640 began. 42 00:03:11,580 --> 00:03:13,820 I'm a whore, hello? 43 00:03:14,710 --> 00:03:16,590 That's how she answers the phone. 44 00:03:19,190 --> 00:03:22,210 She'd like to be a greeter. 45 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:26,170 Yeah, I'm a whore. Welcome to Costco. 46 00:03:31,490 --> 00:03:32,210 Come 47 00:03:32,210 --> 00:03:39,350 back. 48 00:03:39,870 --> 00:03:42,130 Oh, boy. 49 00:03:42,450 --> 00:03:43,450 You! 50 00:03:48,820 --> 00:03:51,060 Come on, pick up the pace. 51 00:03:51,980 --> 00:03:53,860 We're getting bored over here. Come on. 52 00:03:55,220 --> 00:03:57,160 Uh, hello. 53 00:03:57,900 --> 00:03:58,900 Oh, yeah. 54 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:00,740 Boo. 55 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:02,760 Oh, yeah. 56 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:04,120 Yeah. 57 00:04:05,260 --> 00:04:08,040 Oh, oh, damn. Damn, get them go. 58 00:04:08,260 --> 00:04:09,260 About 450. 59 00:04:10,730 --> 00:04:13,970 You're going to have to leave. You do not have the right to block a pedestrian 60 00:04:13,970 --> 00:04:18,470 area. How come they get to block a pedestrian area? 61 00:04:18,990 --> 00:04:19,990 Yeah, really. 62 00:04:20,490 --> 00:04:21,930 Because they are running a business. 63 00:04:22,270 --> 00:04:23,270 Now move along. 64 00:04:23,850 --> 00:04:25,630 Now you go. You go to hell. 65 00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,310 Damn it. That sucks. 66 00:04:29,910 --> 00:04:31,550 What is a pedestrian anyway? 67 00:04:32,170 --> 00:04:35,550 I don't know, but it won't matter if we're running a business. 68 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,250 What do you mean? 69 00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:42,410 Beavis, we are going to be massagers. 70 00:04:43,190 --> 00:04:44,350 Oh, yeah. 71 00:05:09,650 --> 00:05:10,730 We're businessmen. 72 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:20,130 Hey, baby. 73 00:05:20,550 --> 00:05:21,990 Would you like to be touched? 74 00:05:23,110 --> 00:05:25,150 If you don't like it, you don't pay. 75 00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:28,830 Step right up. 76 00:05:29,690 --> 00:05:32,350 Get one boob massaged and the other one's free. 77 00:05:33,170 --> 00:05:34,550 And your butt, too. 78 00:05:36,010 --> 00:05:37,270 Three for the price of one. 79 00:05:41,450 --> 00:05:42,450 The fuck? 80 00:05:43,130 --> 00:05:45,850 How come those guys have chicks lined up and we don't have anybody? 81 00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:51,250 Uh, maybe it's because they're, like, Chinese. 82 00:05:52,510 --> 00:05:54,930 I think chicks love Chinese dudes. 83 00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:57,290 Damn it. 84 00:05:57,310 --> 00:06:03,170 It's not fair. It's like they should... Damn it, Beavis. 85 00:06:03,390 --> 00:06:04,790 You broke our chair. 86 00:06:06,830 --> 00:06:07,830 Butthole? 87 00:06:22,230 --> 00:06:23,950 It's like, not the same. 88 00:06:24,790 --> 00:06:28,030 It's like, it just reminds me that we almost touched real girls. 89 00:06:28,850 --> 00:06:30,630 It just doesn't work anymore. 90 00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:31,850 Yeah. 91 00:06:32,630 --> 00:06:33,630 Damn it. 92 00:06:34,210 --> 00:06:35,610 I used to love this mall. 93 00:06:38,340 --> 00:06:39,860 Whoa. Hey, Beavis, look. 94 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,080 They're gone. 95 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,100 This is our chance. 96 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:44,680 Okay. 97 00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:48,080 Act Chinese, Beavis. 98 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,260 Now you go. 99 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:52,520 You go to hell. 100 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:54,320 What hell you doing? 101 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:58,040 That's all the Chinese I know. 102 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:02,300 Oh, wait a minute. Me Chinese, me play joke. Me put pee -pee in your coke. 103 00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:04,850 That was pretty good, Viva. 104 00:07:09,950 --> 00:07:10,950 Whoa. 105 00:07:12,490 --> 00:07:16,250 I'm having some upper back pain around my neck, so if you could just work on 106 00:07:16,250 --> 00:07:17,250 that, that would be great. 107 00:07:18,530 --> 00:07:22,410 Oh, what the hell are you doing? You try and take my business? 108 00:07:22,830 --> 00:07:23,830 Uh, yeah. 109 00:07:24,650 --> 00:07:26,110 We want to be massagers. 110 00:07:29,130 --> 00:07:31,730 Okay. You two now massagers. 111 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:33,280 Uh, really? 112 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:36,240 I'm ready. 113 00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:38,920 Need to get my circulation going. 114 00:07:39,140 --> 00:07:41,820 Got a real bad smell of the gout. 115 00:07:42,340 --> 00:07:44,520 Probably that shellfish I ate. 116 00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:47,520 Get to work! 117 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:49,280 Uh, 118 00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:51,420 let's get out of here. Hold on. 119 00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:55,580 Okay. Did you two have anything to do with taking this guy's tools? 120 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,100 Stay here with us whole time. New employees. 121 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,580 Massage this guy now. 122 00:08:01,370 --> 00:08:03,050 Uh, no thanks. 123 00:08:03,390 --> 00:08:07,630 The police are on their way. Do you work here, yes or no? 124 00:08:08,090 --> 00:08:09,090 Show him! 125 00:08:09,190 --> 00:08:11,970 Show him you're not thief. You're a massager. 126 00:08:12,550 --> 00:08:13,550 Massage! 127 00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:19,030 Uh, yeah, we're massagers. 128 00:08:19,370 --> 00:08:24,330 Uh, I'm gonna need you to massage the fluid back up into my torso. 129 00:08:24,890 --> 00:08:28,850 Then rub the extremities till they aren't so blue anymore. 130 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:33,539 Now, don't mind that smell. That's just the muscle eating the bone. 131 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:37,860 Doctor said he's only heard of it this bad in cattle before. 132 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:42,380 Looks like a table leg got caught in a wood chipper, don't it? 133 00:08:45,580 --> 00:08:48,720 Well, he does have boobs. 8704