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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:10,150 Hi there. Are you interested in going to heaven? 2 00:00:11,850 --> 00:00:15,430 Beavis, Butthead, do you guys want to join our demonstration? 3 00:00:15,790 --> 00:00:18,330 We're trying to stop them from forcing us to learn about evolution. 4 00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:20,870 It's for a really cool cause. 5 00:00:21,310 --> 00:00:23,630 Uh, it doesn't look very cool. 6 00:00:24,570 --> 00:00:29,970 Hold on a sec, boys. Let me ask you a question. Do you really believe in 7 00:00:29,970 --> 00:00:32,770 evolution? Can you honestly say you understand it? 8 00:00:33,330 --> 00:00:38,850 Uh... No. I never could understand that crap. It's so complicated, no one can. 9 00:00:39,110 --> 00:00:43,190 My dad says the reason no one understands it is because it isn't true. 10 00:00:43,450 --> 00:00:47,170 He says learning it in biology class isn't worth going to hell for. 11 00:00:48,330 --> 00:00:53,130 Bottom line is, the positive acting teens don't believe in evolution and 12 00:00:53,130 --> 00:00:55,230 think they should have to learn it. Right, guys? 13 00:00:55,570 --> 00:00:56,570 Yay! 14 00:00:57,130 --> 00:01:01,390 So, like, if something's too complicated to understand, then we shouldn't have 15 00:01:01,390 --> 00:01:02,390 to learn it? 16 00:01:02,490 --> 00:01:03,490 That's right. 17 00:01:04,060 --> 00:01:08,600 Cool. Really. I don't understand half the crap they talk about in there. Way 18 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:09,920 complicated. Yeah. 19 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:12,080 Maybe these people are cool. 20 00:01:14,420 --> 00:01:15,060 Good 21 00:01:15,060 --> 00:01:21,880 evening. 22 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:26,760 Tonight, Beavis and I will be discussing a wonderful and inspiring film called 23 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:28,020 The Human Centipede. 24 00:01:30,030 --> 00:01:34,330 In this movie, a German doctor surgically connects this chick's mouth 25 00:01:34,330 --> 00:01:35,330 chick's butt. 26 00:01:35,430 --> 00:01:39,050 Then he connects that chick's mouth to a Chinese dude's butt. 27 00:01:40,030 --> 00:01:43,690 Creating a Siamese triplet called the human centipede. 28 00:01:44,250 --> 00:01:46,170 You know, it really is uplifting. 29 00:01:46,930 --> 00:01:52,270 Through this experience, they learn about cooperation, friendship, and life. 30 00:01:52,890 --> 00:01:55,310 And they also learn... 31 00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:57,010 What human butt tastes like. 32 00:01:57,350 --> 00:02:00,410 I mean, at least two of them do. 33 00:02:00,790 --> 00:02:01,790 Yeah. 34 00:02:03,450 --> 00:02:04,830 That's uplifting. 35 00:02:06,690 --> 00:02:10,490 And now here's a short clip of the human centipede. 36 00:02:12,490 --> 00:02:19,490 A Siamese triplet connected via the gastric system. 37 00:02:21,570 --> 00:02:22,870 Ingestion by A. 38 00:02:25,519 --> 00:02:32,080 Passing through the discretion of sea. 39 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:33,960 That's the butt. 40 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,200 The human centipede. 41 00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:40,820 Feed her! 42 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:42,320 Feed her! 43 00:02:44,740 --> 00:02:46,660 Hard! Slow! 44 00:02:48,980 --> 00:02:52,700 You know, Butthead, I was thinking, you know, they're going to make Sex and the 45 00:02:52,700 --> 00:02:53,379 City 3. 46 00:02:53,380 --> 00:02:54,380 So, um... 47 00:02:54,490 --> 00:02:55,490 Why not make it good? 48 00:02:55,690 --> 00:03:01,210 Why not have all those chicks go to Germany and get lost in the forest, and 49 00:03:01,210 --> 00:03:05,270 the doctor from Human Centipede finds them, and then he sews them all 50 00:03:05,330 --> 00:03:08,550 butt to mouth, into one big centipede. 51 00:03:09,970 --> 00:03:11,410 That would rule. 52 00:03:11,690 --> 00:03:15,690 That would be two sequels with one movie. It would be the greatest chick 53 00:03:15,690 --> 00:03:16,690 that has ever been made. 54 00:03:17,690 --> 00:03:18,990 Feed her, Charlotte. 55 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:21,360 Feed her, Carrie. 56 00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:23,200 Feed her, Samantha. 57 00:03:26,260 --> 00:03:26,820 In 58 00:03:26,820 --> 00:03:33,540 all 59 00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:37,440 species, genetic traits are passed to offspring that allow them to survive 60 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:43,020 better than their parents. In this way, the process of... So complicated. 61 00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:49,200 Hey, Beavis, that Pat dude said if something's too complicated, we 62 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,020 have to learn it. Oh, yeah, yeah. 63 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:56,340 Beavis and Butthead, do you have something to add to our discussion of 64 00:03:56,340 --> 00:03:57,340 evolution? 65 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:58,360 Uh, yeah. 66 00:03:58,760 --> 00:03:59,980 It's too complicated. 67 00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:04,960 Yeah, and this guy right out in front of the school told us that we shouldn't 68 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:05,939 have to learn it. 69 00:04:05,940 --> 00:04:08,240 Yeah, that's right. Let's get out of here, Beavis. 70 00:04:09,020 --> 00:04:10,260 Um, guys? 71 00:04:10,740 --> 00:04:15,100 Oh, and, uh, you're going to hell. Yeah, that's true. 72 00:04:16,459 --> 00:04:20,579 The Pythagorean theorem can best be expressed with this equation. 73 00:04:20,899 --> 00:04:27,660 A squared plus B squared equals C squared. Uh, 74 00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:28,700 yes, 75 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:32,740 butthead. Uh, we shouldn't have to learn that. Uh, 76 00:04:33,980 --> 00:04:36,440 why not? Because my uncle's not a monkey. 77 00:04:36,780 --> 00:04:41,560 Yeah, that's right. This is geometry, not evolution, okay? 78 00:04:41,980 --> 00:04:43,560 Tell that to the Lord. 79 00:04:44,170 --> 00:04:48,190 But it shall go unanswered as you roam the fiery pit of damnation. 80 00:04:49,210 --> 00:04:50,790 You're going to hell. 81 00:04:53,830 --> 00:04:59,270 Now, to start a wrestling match, one wrestler gets down on all fours and the 82 00:04:59,270 --> 00:05:02,150 other wrestler mounts him from behind like so. 83 00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:03,990 Whoa. Sure. 84 00:05:04,539 --> 00:05:08,300 Definitely going to hell. Yeah, I don't understand that at all. 85 00:05:09,220 --> 00:05:12,180 I mean, you know, it's okay for you guys, maybe. To each his own. 86 00:05:12,820 --> 00:05:15,620 Damn it, Beavis, butthead, get back here now! 87 00:05:18,620 --> 00:05:22,740 Hey, Beavis, let's go tell Principal McVicker he's going to hell. 88 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,020 Yeah, really. 89 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:26,100 What kind of a place is he running here? 90 00:05:26,540 --> 00:05:31,600 Hey, boys, how come you aren't in class? 91 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,700 Uh, we got suspended. 92 00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:39,740 Because we refuse to learn stuff that's too complicated to understand. Just like 93 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:41,920 you said. You got suspended for your beliefs? 94 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:46,620 This is exactly what we need to get our message out to the media. Hold on, boys. 95 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:47,680 I gotta make a call. 96 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:53,800 For a guy who does cool stuff, he sure doesn't look very cool. 97 00:05:55,460 --> 00:05:56,580 It's kind of embarrassing. 98 00:05:58,410 --> 00:06:04,330 I am here live at Highland High School where two local boys have taken a daring 99 00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:05,970 stand for their beliefs. 100 00:06:06,210 --> 00:06:08,770 Now, tell us, what exactly happened? 101 00:06:09,250 --> 00:06:13,030 Uh, we're like not going to go to school because they don't like our beliefs. 102 00:06:13,390 --> 00:06:14,850 Yeah, they never really did. 103 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:18,680 It's not that these boys don't want to go to school. The fact is they were 104 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:20,760 suspended for supporting our movement. 105 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:22,980 He said movement. 106 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,260 I've been suspended for that, too. 107 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:33,120 Beavis Butthead, what led you to take such a strong stand against evolution? 108 00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:36,460 Well, it's like that dude says. 109 00:06:36,740 --> 00:06:39,620 If you can't understand it, then it must not be true. 110 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,120 Exactly. I mean, I don't understand it. 111 00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:44,309 And I'm stupid. 112 00:06:44,310 --> 00:06:45,310 See? 113 00:06:45,570 --> 00:06:50,890 And, by the way, this incendiary issue will be taken up tonight at that town 114 00:06:50,890 --> 00:06:52,810 hall meeting. Back to you, Miguel. 115 00:06:53,470 --> 00:06:58,270 Miguel's going to hell. And take the weather guy with you, too. He sucks. 116 00:06:58,910 --> 00:07:00,710 The charred walls of the damned. 117 00:07:05,670 --> 00:07:09,970 Is that Gandalf? Ooh, that's a good one. I think so. 118 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:13,960 And I know they had homeless people in Middle Earth. 119 00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:17,560 They've been trying to, like, escape from the shelf. 120 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:18,840 Oh, they're alive? 121 00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:23,540 They're very close by. 122 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:24,860 I keep calling meeting. 123 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:26,440 Meeting! 124 00:07:28,980 --> 00:07:29,980 Meeting! 125 00:07:30,660 --> 00:07:35,500 First of all, to make sure that we're gathering respectfully, this clan here 126 00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:36,500 an elder. 127 00:07:36,910 --> 00:07:40,890 These are the clams that ought to be respected because they've lived a long 128 00:07:40,890 --> 00:07:44,910 time. They have their genetic heritage to pass on to the young. Boy, this guy 129 00:07:44,910 --> 00:07:46,690 has more rules than the army. 130 00:07:47,650 --> 00:07:51,330 A dirty, stinky, itchy, smelly army. 131 00:07:52,170 --> 00:07:55,950 And beardy, you know, with a bunch of disgusting homeless people. 132 00:07:56,550 --> 00:08:00,050 I need to go and be in the forest right now. 133 00:08:00,390 --> 00:08:03,070 Whoa, when did his shirt come off? 134 00:08:03,490 --> 00:08:04,510 We'll sit and connect. 135 00:08:05,580 --> 00:08:07,060 Gandalf is ready to connect. 136 00:08:08,380 --> 00:08:10,580 What are you feeling? 137 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,620 Right now, a lot of pain. 138 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:20,120 I just went for a walk. With the experience with the clams, I don't think 139 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:21,580 differently of you because of it. 140 00:08:22,940 --> 00:08:25,200 It was the clams that made it hurt. 141 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:27,620 Can you pull up your inner resilience? 142 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,320 Yeah. And then you can pull my inner resilience. 143 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,360 Is anyone looking? 144 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,120 Gandalf will show you some shame. 145 00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:43,159 Now go back to your tent and take off your clothes. 146 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:53,720 The other side keeps saying the theory of evolution as if all the scientific 147 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,440 facts... See what we have to put up with? 148 00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:00,820 ...themed researchers and academics... Tell it to someone who cares! 149 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,560 Yeah, like Satan. 150 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:04,680 You can tell him when you're in hell! 151 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:06,640 That's enough! 152 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:12,480 Now you two boys, shut up before I come over there and do it for you! I think 153 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,300 what these boys are trying to say... 154 00:09:14,570 --> 00:09:18,590 is that our science classes should teach all possibilities for the origin of 155 00:09:18,590 --> 00:09:22,290 life. After all, evolution is only a theory. 156 00:09:22,550 --> 00:09:26,010 I agree with Max here. Yeah, science is stupid. 157 00:09:26,330 --> 00:09:27,970 Wait, that's not what I was saying. 158 00:09:28,270 --> 00:09:31,690 This fact is exactly the kind of dangerous ideological thinking that 159 00:09:31,690 --> 00:09:35,190 undermine not only years of scientific advance, The fact is you are going to 160 00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:38,250 roast in hell because you're not letting go. Yeah, you're all going to hell. 161 00:09:38,410 --> 00:09:43,150 Please, we don't accomplish anything like this. Shut up! 162 00:09:45,450 --> 00:09:51,370 Okay, since we can't agree to disagree, the only solution is to find a 163 00:09:51,370 --> 00:09:54,410 compromise that both sides are comfortable with. 164 00:09:54,890 --> 00:09:57,290 Yeah, they'll be comfortable in hell. 165 00:09:59,030 --> 00:10:00,210 Sorry about that. 166 00:10:02,570 --> 00:10:09,150 So, thanks to Beavis and Butthead, you don't have to learn about evolution 167 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,830 today if you don't want to. 168 00:10:13,150 --> 00:10:14,170 We're popular. 169 00:10:15,050 --> 00:10:18,230 Looks like no one wants to. 170 00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:21,570 Very well. Then today you have to study this. 171 00:10:22,390 --> 00:10:25,950 I only have one copy, so please take detailed notes. 172 00:10:26,570 --> 00:10:31,790 The theory of intelligent design holds that certain features of the universe 173 00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:36,250 best explained by an intelligent cause. I knew that Max guy wasn't cool. 174 00:10:37,810 --> 00:10:39,550 Let's get out of here, Beavis. 175 00:10:40,610 --> 00:10:42,130 We're going to hell. 176 00:10:42,890 --> 00:10:44,830 Yeah, maybe it won't be so bad. 13521