Original subtitles

Hey, Beaver.

How's that new soda?

Pretty good.

Thirsty, Beavis?

That stuff is really good.

I am Cornholeo.

I need tippy for my bunghole.

My bunghole will eat now.

You must prepare a piece for the almighty bunghole.

Would you like a spatula for your bunghole?

You must feed the almighty bunghole.

How can I help you tonight?

Hi, immigration?

What?

Immigration?

Uh, it has to be on the menu, sir.

No, dumbass, I'm with immigration.

Really? Where?

Listen, I work for the government. I'm just checking to see if there are any

illegal immigrants working here.

Uh, oh, you mean like Mexicans?

What's with him?

What the hell language is he speaking?

Uh, hmm.

I don't know.

Hey, you.

Habla espanol?

Hey, I'm talking to you.

Get back here.

Hey, I'm talking to you.

I'm with the United States Department of Immigration.

Do you have any ID?

Do you have any tipi?

Tipi for my bunghole?

Do you have a green card?

Are you threatening me?

Yeah, maybe I am.

I'm with immigration, and if you don't show me some proof of residency, I'm

going to have to take you in. You can take me, but you cannot take my

For I have no bunghole.

I am the great Cornholio.

Where I come from, there is no keeping.

My people, we have but one bunghole.

Okay, so what do we know about this kid?

I picked him up at Burger World.

But he doesn't have any ID or anything.

Says his name is Cornholio. What the hell kind of a name is that?

Is that his first name or last?

Oh, I don't know. It's the only name he gives.

Cornholio. Sounds Spanish.

Could be Italian. I doubt it. Well, the little bastard devoured my taco and

burrito combo on the ride over.

Yeah, probably Mexican.

Says he's from Lake Titicaca.

Lake Titicaca?

Lake Titicaca.

Titicaca. Okay.

Find out where the hell Lake Titicaca is.

Nicaragua.

Nicaragua? Agua for my bunghole.

Bunghole. Oh, yeah, and he keeps saying he needs TP for his bunghole.

What the hell's a bunghole?

You find out what a bunghole is. You are a bunghole.

And so am I.

There will be more bungholes after me. Here, I got the dictionary.

Bunghole. Bunghole. It says a hole in a barrel or keg for pouring in or drawing

out liquid.

Bunghole.

This kid's messed up.

Just take him back to Mexico and drop him off with the others.

Let the federales deal with him. Okay, Cornholio, time to go back home. Are you

threatening me?

You will give me TP, bunghole.

Yeah, yeah, all right. I know your bunghole needs TP. We'll get you plenty

just as soon as we get you back to Mexico.

And your bunghole will be just fine.

I would hate for my bungholio to get polio. Me too. Come on, okay. This way,

Cornholio.

The bunghole.

It is nothing to be ashamed of.

A new report shows that illegal aliens are crossing into the United States at

all -time high.

What a dumbass.

But for the few that are caught, these illegal aliens are documented and then

returned to Mexico only to try to cross again in an ongoing and seemingly

endless cycle.

Tepe for his bunghole.

Papel para mi culo. Que necio.

El gringo debe lavar su culo.

Is this Nicaragua?

I will take this land for my bunghole.

Long live the almighty bunghole.

I am the great cornfield.

There will be tipi for every man.

My people, we have been without tipi.

No man should be without tipi.

He's playing a toy.

Oh, check out that chick's panties. Damn it, Beavis. Don't talk to me when a

chick's panties are on TV.

It's like you mess up my mind and I can't, like, see the panties right.

Oh, yeah, sorry.

I think this is Blue's traveler.

No, it's not. Where's that big fat dude?

I think that's him, Beavis. I think he just, like... Lost a lot of weight.

Damn it, that pisses me off. Everybody keeps getting skinny.

Yeah. He looked better when he was a big, fat slob bouncing around on the

going... Yeah, yeah, yeah. His stomach was hanging over his pants

going... Check it out, Viva. I'm fingering my lips.

Remember that cartoon that had that big fat dude in it? And he used to go, hey,

hey, hey.

Oh, yeah. And then he had that friend with his eyes cut out of his hat. And

like go, hey, baby, let's go.

See,

they used to have cool cartoons.

Cartoons now just fuck. Yeah.

I don't think Dorothy was this hot in the movie.

Chicks were all, like, ugly and old in time.

It was, like, really messed up. Oh, yeah.

I guess that's why old dudes are, like, all cranky and stuff. They're like, back

in my day, you'd hardly ever get wood watching TV.

Yeah.

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