Original subtitles

To survive, now get only a fraction. Do you like the taste of cold beer?

Damn straight.

Yeah, yeah.

Are you drunk right now?

Well, you wouldn't be if you were drinking the Edge.

That's what beer drinkers drink when they're not drunk.

And you don't have to be 21 to buy the Edge, because the Edge is 100 % non

-alcoholic. Whoa, cool.

Yeah, yeah.

You don't have to be 21.

And the Edge gives you all the fun you expect from a beer.

Beaver, we gotta get some of that stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And we're gonna get some beer.

It's really gonna happen.

Oh.

Hey, bud, is it normal for the inside of your bunghole to itch?

Whoa.

Is this video over?

Yeah. Yeah, it's over.

Well, that was pretty cool.

I mean, it sucked, but at least it was short.

They should make them all this short.

Yeah, really.

Then you wouldn't have to listen to them as much.

What else is on?

Whoa, whoa, check it out. I can do that. Check this out.

Okay, here we go.

So that's pretty good, Bela.

You're probably going to be like this guy when you grow up.

Oh, really? You think so?

Yeah, that would rule.

Have my own recliner and a TV and some beer.

That would kick ass.

Uh, yeah.

You know, um, that's all you ever need, really. Like, if I had to, I could

probably live without scoring as long as I had a chair and TV and a beer.

You're never going to score, Beva.

I'm not saying that I'm never going to score.

I'm just saying, you know, if that's the way it worked out, you know, it

wouldn't be too bad. I mean, well, no, it would suck, but it'd be better if I

had a TV.

Damn it.

Never mind.

You'll be lucky to even drink a beer.

Probably won't have a chair either.

This is going to suck.

Yeah, can I help you?

Uh... Yeah.

We're gonna buy this beer and get drunk.

Yeah? Well, you can't buy beer unless you're 21.

Let me see some ID.

Oh. Uh... Well... Uh... Uh... Uh... We left our

IDs in the truck. Uh... The truck, man.

Oh, you guys are buying that pee water.

I guess I can sell that crap to you. That's right, you can sell it to us.

Poor old... We

really fooled that guy.

What a dumbass.

He didn't give us any straws, butthole.

Don't drink beer with a straw dill weed.

Shut up, bunghole.

I know how to drink beer.

Okay, then shut up and drink, dumbass.

Woofie.

I'll show you how a man drinks beer.

That's good beer.

Yes, sir.

Check it out. We're wasted.

You know, Beavis, it doesn't get any better than this.

Cop.

Are you boys drinking beer?

Uh, yeah.

We're fit -shaped.

You boys look a little young.

I'm gonna have to see some identification.

Check this out, Beaver.

You have the right to remain silent.

You have the right to shut up or I'll kick your ass.

Uh, looks like I've got two intoxicated minors here.

I'm gonna have to give you boys a sobriety test.

Uh, no way.

I'm too drunk to take a test.

Yeah, me too.

No, you idiot.

This is a test to see how drunk you are.

Really?

Cool.

Hey, buddy, I bet I'm drunker than you. No way.

All right, put your cans down and stand up.

Okay, first I want you to close your eyes, tilt your head back, and touch

nose. You better not try to steal our beer. I said close your eyes and touch

your nose.

What the hell are you doing?

I'm clothing my eyes and touching my nads.

Easy.

Okay. Now, I want you to say the alphabet backwards. Can you do that?

Oh.

Uh... Okay.

Uh... A... Uh... B...

What comes before B?

Should I take my hands off my dad?

I mean, I don't have to.

I'm fine. You boys are definitely intoxicated. I'm going to have to come

your beverages and bring you downtown.

Oh, yeah.

We don't want to forget the beer. I want to knock back a few on the ride

downtown. Wait a minute.

This stuff's non -alcoholic. Check it out, butthead.

I'm full.

You guys aren't drunk.

You're just stupid.

Uh... Who is that?

Uh, me.

His name is... I've seen this before. His name is Mike Watt.

And later on, he pours a bottle of urine out the window. So don't change it yet.

Oh, cool.

Is he peeing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he did.

That's the name of the song. It's called Piss Bottle Man.

That's pretty cool, I guess. You know.

Yeah, yeah. Why not?

Later on, this guy gets abducted by aliens.

Cool.

Hey, Butt -head, do you believe in aliens?

I believe in illegal aliens.

I believe in Mexicans.

Shut up, Beaver. You're supposed to call him Hispanic.

Okay, okay.

You know what would be funny? If he changed his name, you know, instead of

Watt, he changed his last name to Hunt.

You know what I'm saying?

Uh, why would that be funny?

You know, um, you know, I don't know, actually.

Dumbass.

Drunk? That sucks.

Yeah, I knew we weren't drunk, though.

You know, I've been drunk before.

No, you haven't, dill weed. Yes, I have.

One time I, like, went around and, like, found a bunch of empty bottles, you

know, and, like, drank the stuff at the bottom. It was cool.

Hey, Beavis, maybe we just need to drink more to get drunk.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's a good idea, yeah.

I think this video has a message.

Yeah.

The message is, leave.

Don't watch it.

This video is on me. It's like it's causing me

to influence my behavior.

I'm gonna leave.

I'm gonna go into the kitchen and break something.

about this video call.

Yeah.

Go for it, Beavis.

This is cool.

The video still sucks. This is cool, buddy.

Beavis?

Beavis? Beavis?

Settle down.

Don't break the popcorn, Beavis.

Cut my leg.

I cut myself.

Where are the band -aids?

They're in the bathroom.

I'm bleeding.

I'm bleeding.

And it's all this video's fault.

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