Original subtitles

Dammit, what's taking so long?

Beavis, you need to like, be patient and stuff.

That's about time, dude.

Sorry, fellas.

I was trying to take care of a little business back in the latrine.

Sure wish I could tell you not to go in there, but old T .A.'s having a little

trouble cranking the cables these days.

You are taking a dump.

I wish.

Listen, I need you to do me a little favor.

As you can see, I got the bum wheel.

Had a little accident in the garden yesterday, and, well, with the missus up

Oak Lawn seeing her Aunt Kay, I'm going to need you to go down to the drug and

discount and get my pills.

And here's a list of some other things I need.

Prep H, fibers, cigs, beer nuts, turkey TV dinner.

Uh, would you like some more toilet paper, sir?

Yeah. Well,

as a matter of fact, I would.

Just make sure you get the soft kind.

And go ahead and pick up something for yourselves, too.

Cool.

Oh,

check it out. Paula Abdullah.

Yeah.

This is like every outfit she's ever had on in a video.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm going to go to the kitchen.

Why? Because I have to take a leak.

Uh, you mean the bathroom, Beavis?

Um, oh yeah, it doesn't really matter.

You should stick around, Beavis, because I think, like, later on you can see her

epidermis.

Um, well,

okay, maybe I'll just stick around for a couple minutes, maybe.

I thought you said we were going to see her epidermis.

Uh, no.

But your epidermis is showing.

What? No way.

Are you talking about my nut sack?

You don't know what it is.

And everyone can see it.

Shut up.

Your epidermis is showing. Your nads are too.

I've had enough of this crap. I'm going to go to the kitchen.

Hey, Beavis, get back in here.

I just saw something cool.

Whoa, Beavis, get back in here.

Her pants are hiked up her butt.

Dumbass.

Hey, Beavis, check it out.

Spermothytal lubricant.

With a reservoir tip.

Ribbed. For her pleasure.

Yeah. I could use some of those.

Come on, butt munch.

We gotta, like, get Anderson's stuff.

Uh, okay.

Driffle? I think we need to get some of this.

Uh, oh yeah, we do. Yep, never have too much of that.

Yeah, one of these shopping rolls.

Uh, you got a prescription there, son?

Uh, I guess. Yeah, um, we're supposed to pick up some drugs.

Well, maybe I better have a look at that, huh?

Uh, yeah, maybe you better.

Ah, yes, Tom Anderson.

How's he doing, anyway?

He's having butt problems.

Yeah, me too.

I poop too much.

That's too bad. Well, this is going to take a few minutes. Why don't you go

ahead and finish up? I'll have it ready when you're done, okay?

Yeah, cool.

Let's go buy some more stuff.

Yeah.

Uh, where do you keep the porno?

Whoa, this is cool.

Flots laying all over motorcycles.

Really? You should buy it.

Uh, oh yeah.

Hey, check it out.

We're buying rubber.

See?

Yeah.

Hi.

Hi, baby.

This isn't enough money.

Really?

You're going to have to give me more money or else put some things back.

No way.

Look, I don't have time for this. You're going to have to put some items back.

Come on, let's go while we're young.

Okay.

Let's see.

Here.

Take this one.

That's for your butt.

Keep going. Keep going.

Uh, okay.

You can have this, too.

Yeah.

And this.

Here. He probably has some napkins or paper towels.

Oh.

Yeah.

Hey, baby.

This chick looks familiar.

Oh, yeah.

She was in that movie.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that movie.

It was the second one.

The second one of that first one where that guy was choking his chicken on that

rock. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God. Did you see that?

I sure did.

And it was cool.

I've never seen anything like that on TV.

She was rubbing her butt.

Kick ass.

Oh, my God. She's start breathing naked. Yeah.

You could see everything.

Oh, boy. This is exciting. Yeah.

This is action packed.

I like this song.

Whoa. It's death.

If Death came over to my house, I'd just, like, kick him in the nads and run

away.

Death doesn't have nads, Viva.

I bet his back, like, shriveled up like a little raven.

That's disgusting, Viva.

That spider's gonna do her. No way, really?

Yeah.

Oh, she's naked again. Ooh, yeah, yeah.

Ooh.

Oh, you can see her rump.

Her what?

Her rump.

You mean her butt, Beavis? No, no, no, her rump. Ooh.

That's the part off to the side.

It's called a butt, Beavis.

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.

I just get tired of saying butt sometimes.

It's her rump.

Anderson was cool to let us buy this stuff.

Oh, check it out, butthead.

This chick has three boobs.

That's pretty cool.

How many butts does she have?

I don't know.

Oh, wait a minute.

That's her stomach.

Hello, boys. Is that you?

Hello? Oh, damn it. Damn it.

What in the hell's taking so long?

Boys?

Oh,

check it out. He's sleeping with a pig.

Uh, yeah.

For what, Beaver?

I'm just trying to make conversation.

Bunghole.

Uh, why don't you make it somewhere else, bungwipe?

You know what this dude looks like?

This dude looks like that chick, that tennis player, Monica Fella.

How come you know so much about tennis all of a sudden?

Well,

you know, I like to watch the Wilbum Dunn.

Oh, and also, there's this chick, and her name is Stiffy.

Oh, yeah.

Stiffy Graff.

That's cool.

Oh,

I mean, you know this part right here? I mean, this was already in another

video.

And in the place where you live.

Yeah, that's what this was there.

Yeah,

I think everything in this video was in another video.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Everything you see in this video was in another video.

Everything fucks.

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