Original subtitles

Whoa!

Think of the things we could do with this!

Boys, I can give you a real good deal on that there bushwhacker.

Bushwhackers.

Just a second, boys.

Hello. Speaking.

Hey, Tom, this is Bill.

I need a favor. The wife's colon is kicking up again, and I got to take her

the hospital.

Can you come down?

Well, Bill, I wish I could, but you see, I got this here yard sale going on.

Well, I guess

I could do it.

Say, boys, could I get you to watch my yard sale for a while?

One of you could be selling while the other one starts moving things inside.

Uh... No.

Well, I'll tell you what.

I'll give you 10 % of what you sell, and I'll even throw in that there

bushwhacker. Uh, okay.

Cool.

Hey, that chick just spat, butthead. Yeah.

That rules.

Yeah, it's pretty cool, but I don't know if I'd want a chick to spit, you know?

Kind of disgusting on a chick.

What do you think happens when you make out with a chick, Viva?

It's like you get all her spit in your mouth and stuff.

Oh, really?

That's sickening.

You dumbass.

Whoa.

This chick, like, kind of gives me a special feeling.

I'd do it with her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know. So would I.

I'd do it with a lot of chicks on TV. So what?

This is never going to happen, and I keep seeing them. They're making me

Settle down, Beva.

Damn it.

Ooh, she's kind of hot. Yeah, yeah, I know. So what? So what?

Ooh, she looks good there.

Yeah, yeah.

See? Damn it.

I see him, I get a boner, and then nothing happens.

You need to settle down, Beaver. I know. See, see, there, there. Whoa, look,

she's naked.

She's fuck naked.

Yeah. And she looks pretty good naked.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, now we're getting some more.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ooh. Yeah.

Yeah.

Ugh.

That's got to hurt.

Remember that time you got all sunburned and then your skin peeled and you,

like, pulled it off and brought it to school and showed everybody?

Oh, yeah.

That kind of reminds me of the time I was, like, trying to warm up my nads in

the microwave.

So, like, how do you just put your nads in the microwave and not your schlong?

Well, here, I'll show you. You kind of, like, stand up like this.

Sit down, Beavis. I don't want to see how you did it. Well, you ask.

Uh, are you gonna buy something or just touch everything?

Well, I'm looking for a gift for our church rectory.

Uh, did you say rectum?

Oh, what a precious manger.

The pastor will love this.

But where's the baby Jesus?

Uh, he's like ten bucks extra.

Charging money for the baby Jesus.

That's sacrilege.

He's naked.

You can tell Tom Anderson he's going to hell for this.

Whoa.

Okay, I'll tell him.

Hey,

buddy, check it out.

He's got, like, cooler stuff inside.

Yeah. It even gets porno.

No extra charge, sir.

How much did you say you wanted?

Uh, how much do you want to spend?

Well, I've only got $8 on me, but I could write you a check.

Uh, we only take cash, but, uh, it just happens to be $8.

Whoa.

Did you see that?

I took all of the money.

What a dumbass.

Yeah.

Dumbass.

How you doing, ma 'am?

Excuse me, young man.

Um, what's the price on these dishes?

Um, five bucks.

Yeah, five bucks.

But this looks like fine china.

Um, five bucks. Take it or leave it.

Uh.

This table is like $20.

Hey, what about the four chairs?

They're eight.

How much for the set?

Fifteen. Here you go.

Hey, Beavis.

I'm like ripping these people off.

Yeah, me too.

They told me I'd be in the VA hospital for a week. Hell.

I was there for nearly nine months.

They took up my intestines, my bladder, my kidney, and part of my organ.

Oh, you should have seen it. Well, that's some tough luck, Sarge. I wish

was something I could do. Well, how about pouring me a shot of whiskey? I

the pain, you know? I just want to numb the pain.

All right.

Well, that'll be two big ones. I'll put it on my tab.

I'm good for it, you know.

Sorry, buddy. No can do.

We got something around here called a code of honor.

Huh, a Purple Heart from Korea.

You gotta be wounded to get one of these.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I was shot in the butt.

Five bucks.

I've seen this video before.

It's fucked.

Wow. Now I'm just thinking the same thing and then you said it. You must,

read minds or something.

Yeah, I can do that.

Have like a E -S -P -N.

Whoa, really?

That's cool.

Yeah.

I knew you were going to say that. What am I going to say next?

You're going to say, yeah.

Yeah.

Wow, you did it again.

That's cool.

I knew you were going to say that, too.

Okay, let's try it one more time.

Okay, I'm gonna think about this.

Uh, okay.

Um... Damn it, Beavis!

Don't ever think about that again.

Wow, this is really cool. Okay, let me do it now.

Can you think of something?

Uh, okay.

I'm thinking about... Is it some flies?

No.

Is it a suitcase of some kind?

Uh, no.

Let me think. You're thinking of me.

Are you thinking you're going to smack me?

No, but that's not a bad idea.

Boys,

you did one hell of a job cleaning this junk out.

You must have been selling like real pros.

Yeah, we ripped people off.

Well, you can have that bushwhacker.

And I guess I owe you 10%. Let's see, that would be $6.

Uh, weren't we supposed to get, like, $10?

Yeah. Well, maybe you boys need to brush up on your business sense.

Now, a deal is a deal, and I expect you to honor it.

What a ripoff.

Yeah, he really screwed us. Yeah, and now he's rich.

What in the hell?

Bombastic. Yeah, yeah.

Bombastic. Yeah, here it is.

Mr. Romantic. Mr. Bombastic.

Mr.

Romantic. Mr.

Bombastic. Mr.

Bombastic.

Mr.

Bombastic.

What does bombastic mean anyway?

Well, it's like bombastic is like even better than fantastic.

You know, like if you were scoring, you'd be like, this is bombastic.

Really?

I always imagine, you know, like if I was ever going to score, you know, I'd

like going.

Stuff like that.

Really? If I ever score, I'm going to be going, this is fantastic, Mr.

Bombastic.

What is this accent he's talking?

Dumbass, it's foreign.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Damn it, Beavis, cut that out.

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