Original subtitles

Uh, what?

This is your boss at Burger World. We're having an extremely busy lunch. I need

one of you to come down to Burger World right now.

Uh, I'm, like, busy watching TV.

Well, then let me talk to, uh, the other one.

Uh, okay.

Uh, uh, like,

uh, hi, this is Beavis.

Yeah.

I'll be right in, sir.

Yeah.

You can always, like, count on me, sir.

Yeah.

Hey,

Beavis, that was that manager dude from Burger World?

He says you have to go to work right now.

No way!

That sucks!

It sucks!

Hey,

how come you don't have to go to work?

Because I'm, like... Busy watching TV?

Oh, yeah, yeah. This sucks.

Dumbass.

Cool,

I need a cartoon.

Those aren't cartoons, dumbass. That's just clay.

Clay can be cartoon.

No, it can't.

Cartoons are like, you know, like drawings or something.

Play is like a thing.

So?

Drawings are things.

Damn it, Beavis. You're never going to out be smarter than me.

So don't even try. Just shut up.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, I think I know what this is. I think this is Davy and Goliath.

Oh, yeah.

That's that show that's like on Sunday mornings when there's nothing on but

church.

You know one thing about that show, though? You know that Goliath is

be a dog, but I've never seen him lick his mask.

Have you ever noticed that?

I saw him do it once real fast.

He was probably like, oh, Davey, you should drive us.

Yeah, and then Davey said, maybe I should pet you first.

And you know, also,

you know, I've never seen him poop either.

I thought I saw him poop once, but I think it was just like a piece of clay

fell off his butt.

I want a bacon cheeseburger with extra mayo. I want a large chocolate shake,

orders of onion rings, an apple pie, and a diet cola.

Eat that pie.

That's funny, right?

Whoa! Hey, how's it going?

You're working.

Shut up and take my order.

Welcome to the world.

May I help you?

Get me some nachos.

Okay, would you like some fries to go with that?

Did I ask for fries, dumbass?

Let me just get that for you.

Let's see.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

We don't have any nachos.

Okay.

Then how about some pizza?

Okay.

Pizza, pizza.

Oh, yeah.

Pizza's not on the menu either.

Would you like some fries with that?

Hey, come on. Come on, quit all the up the line. I'm waiting for service here.

Am I still having out my food?

Yeah, really.

This service sucks.

Let me speak to your manager, boy.

I'm going to have you fired.

Okay, yeah, yeah.

Fire me.

Hey, come on. Can't somebody open another register?

I don't have all day, you know. I got three kids in the car. Come on. Get the

hell out of here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fire him, yeah, fire him, fire him, yeah, fire, fire.

Not working cool.

Uh, hello?

Hello? Hello?

Uh, hello?

Hello?

Uh, I'd like to order a butt.

Like, is this thing on?

Cool.

Whoa.

That sounds cool.

Hey, Beavis, is that you?

Butt -head!

Butt -head, where are you?

I'm in the drive -thru, dumbass.

Get out here. This thing makes you sound really weird.

Really?

Cool.

Okay.

I'll be right with you. Thank you, drive -thru.

Ow!

This is gonna be cool.

What the hell is he doing here?

What is this?

It's the Scatman.

I should have a name for this kind of music.

There already is a name for this music, Beavis.

It's called crap.

They ought to have, you know, a crap section in the record store.

Yeah.

It should be out in the dumpster.

No, wait, bud.

There's cool stuff in the dumpster.

You wouldn't want to mess it up with this crap.

I like that music they play in those closed stores in the mall where they

like, a bunch of TV screens.

Oh, yeah.

And it's all loud.

And then, like, the salespeople come up and say, Hi, would you like a tie today?

Those places are stupid.

Oh, boy, this sure is horrible.

The United Colors of Ventatron.

You know, it kind of sounded like he said poop.

Well, you know, this is the scat man, and scat is like another word for swoop.

How'd you know that?

I learned that when I did my report on feces.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I want food!

Hey, what the hell is going on? Come on!

Come on!

Check this out.

Ow!

Pretty cool.

Damn it, where the hell is he?

I'll be with you in a minute, sir.

Hi, welcome to Burger World. May I take... Ow! Hey!

Hey! Beavis?

Is that you, Beavis?

Yeah.

Ow! Hey!

Ow!

What makes you think that's a whore, Beaver?

I was just, you know, I was just pretending, I guess. I don't know.

Well,

if you're going to do that, why not just, you know, pretend you're doing it

her?

Yeah, well, I was going to do that. I was going to pretend she was a whore,

I was going to pretend I had some money, and then I was going to pretend I

wasn't doing it.

That's how it works, see?

That's what you call a fantasy, bong wipe.

You know what this chick's name is?

What?

Her name is Chick.

No, it's not.

No, I'm serious. I've seen this before. Her name's Chick.

That's pretty cool, because, like, you know...

You can remember her name, you know, because she's a chick, and her name is

Chick. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Maybe I should change my name to Dude.

Yeah,

or maybe you could change it to Dumbass.

Yeah, yeah.

She's supposed to be, like, in high school or something.

I don't know. She looks pretty old.

Yeah, I think you're not allowed to become a whore until you get older.

You're still pretending she's a whore, Beavis? I thought you'd be pretending

you're doing it with her by now.

Well, if you would shut up, maybe I could concentrate.

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