Original subtitles

Why don't you punks quit bothering me?

We were just sitting here.

Yeah, we were just eating nachos.

Yeah, well, it was really loud.

You guys need to get a life.

Just stay put, all right? We'll be back later and kick your weaselly asses. You

better have something to drink next time.

That was cool, the way he, like, didn't kick our ass.

Maybe he's gonna let us be in his gang now.

I just had a vision, Beavis.

We don't need to be in Todd's gang.

We need to start our own gang.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

We can start our own gang!

This is gonna be cool!

Right, Montel Williams.

Maybe I'll have some whore.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Or some slut.

Yeah, yeah. Or maybe a good girl fight.

Yeah.

Or maybe some skank hoes.

Ow.

It's a video.

Well, see you later, Beaver.

Wait, wait, wait. Just a minute.

Just check it out.

Maybe, like, give it a chance.

Okay.

At least it doesn't look like a video.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Doesn't your mom watch Montel Williams all the time?

She watches Montel Williams, Jerry Springer, Jane Whitney.

She watches all of them.

You know what I'm saying? Like, I should be on one of these shows, baby.

Yeah, but like, what would be the topic?

I don't know.

It'd be like, I'm a slut and my son's a dumbass.

Next Montel Williams.

Yeah, that's a good one about it.

That way we can both be on here.

Dumbass.

Being in a gang is cool.

Yeah.

We're just kicking it.

Hanging out in the crib.

In the hills.

Hey, Beavis, how will anyone know we're a gang if we're just, like, hanging out

at home?

Um, oh, yeah, yeah, I didn't think of that.

Now what do we do, butthead?

Uh, I guess our gang, like, needs a name.

Oh, yeah, um, we should be the, uh, Bloods. Yeah, the Bloods.

No way, Beavis. It's already taken by, like, some guys who could kick our ass.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe we should get some of those guys in our gang.

That'd be cool.

Yeah.

We need, like, some other members.

Hi, guys. What's happening?

Uh, we're like a gang.

Yeah, yeah. You're on our turf.

Cool. Hey, can I be in your gang, too?

Uh, no.

Come on, guys. It'll be fun. You guys could initiate me. Yeah, come on,

butthead. We could annihilate him.

Uh, yeah.

Cool.

I don't know, guys. What do I have to do?

Uh, you have to break something.

To prove you're as cool as us.

We're pretty cool.

Well, it's like, uh, if you want to be in our gang, you have to, uh,

You have to break this milk crate.

Uh, guys, that's vandalism. You're not gonna vandalize it, dumbass. You're

break it.

Now get to work and prove how cool you are. Yeah.

Hey,

baby. Uh,

did you ever, like, do it with a gang member?

We need to have, like, colors.

Yeah, yeah.

Colors, yeah.

Uh, I think we should be gray.

No way, butthead.

I think we should be blue.

No way, Beavis. We should be gray. No way. We should be blue, dammit.

Then get your own gang, dumbass.

Darn it.

I'll never pass this stupid initiation.

I shouldn't have to prove how cool I am.

Hey, what the hell's going on back here? Um, Beavis and Butthead made me do it.

Oh, they did, huh? Tough guy?

Yes, sir. They're right in front of the store. Oh, yeah? Well, we'll see about

that. Get inside!

Is this a diaper commercial?

Uh, no.

No, this is a douche commercial.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's funny.

Douche.

What if douche, anyway? Like, how does it work?

I don't know.

I think chicks use it, like, when they get that not -so -fresh feeling.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I think it helps them, like, go horseback riding and, like, go down to

and stuff like that, too. Yeah.

I wonder how come they don't have a douche for guys.

Yeah, yeah, that would rule.

Sometimes,

you know, I feel like, you know, not so fresh.

Well, maybe if you'd wash your butt once in a while.

And I'm not talking about washing your whole butt.

I'm talking about washing your butt hole.

They just said you suck.

No, they didn't. They said you suck.

They ripped off my idea for a song.

Yeah. And you, like, already ripped off the idea for me, bunghole.

Do you remember what I told you about trying to be funny?

That I shouldn't?

That's right.

Now sit there and shut up.

Nutsack.

Wait, wait, wait. I think I can see something.

I think I can see the side of her boob.

I think that's just a koala bear.

Oh, yeah. Sorry.

You know something? I wish these girls were naked.

And I wish they were right here without any clothes on. And I wish I was

grabbing their butt.

And that's about it.

Well, all right then.

Kid said some gang members made him bust up my milk crates. You know anything

about that?

Uh, no.

He was acting on his own, sir.

Yeah, we never saw Stuart before in our life.

Yeah, and, uh, you're on our turf.

I thought I told you to have something to drink.

Uh, you better not mess with us. We're in a gang.

So you are in a gang, huh?

You little turd!

Looks like your gang's gonna mix it up with my gang.

Being in a gang sucks, buddy.

Help us.

American woman!

They think they're bad because they're walking slow.

Get out your seat and jump around.

Jump around.

Get out your seat and jump around. Jump around.

These guys are like, like they're trying to be House of Pain.

Yeah.

And the Beastie Boys and, uh, Goodfellas.

And reservoir dogs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, fight!

Fight!

You know, if these dudes were as cool as they think they are, they'd be hanging

out with chicks on a Saturday night.

Yeah, yeah, really.

Or at least, like, you know, watching TV or something.

I wonder where these guys get these clothes.

You can get that stuff at this place called By George down at the mall.

Oh, wait, really?

Who are these guys, anyway?

The lords of Brooklyn.

I thought there was only one lord.

That's what they said in Sunday school.

You're thinking of, like, outer space, Beavis.

That's where the Lord lives.

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