Original subtitles

uh

Hey, what was that?

It's Woodrow.

He's knocking.

Whoa.

Anyway you want it, baby.

Get the door, Beaver.

I'm busy. You get it.

Get the door, nutbag.

Okay.

Damn it, I'll get it.

Oh, butthead, I think something terrible has happened to Stuart.

Have you seen him?

Uh, no.

Damn it, now I have to start all over.

You know, I don't, like, say this very often, but, uh, this sucks. Hey, guys,

how you doing?

Yeah, yeah.

Guys, can you take care of that? You say that all the time, actually, but it...

Uh, oh, yeah.

Well, are we gonna dance or are we gonna play?

Poison.

Yeah, yeah.

And to think... That this dude used to bop Pamela Anderson.

Like that would ever happen.

I think it did happen.

But anyways, yeah,

she's on this thing with this guy. His name's Anthony Robert.

And, like, he has these tapes.

And these, these things, and he, like, talks to you and, like, makes you feel

all good. And she watched him.

And then, um, now she has huge hooters and she's on TV.

It's pretty cool. I was thinking of getting some of those tapes.

Uh, yeah, you'd look good with big hooters, David.

Shut up, butt -head.

You know, that's not what I meant.

You know who else Pamela Anderson bossed?

It's, um, Scott Baio.

Uh, really?

You know, this poison dude kind of looks like Pamela Anderson.

Yeah, you know, I'm thinking, you know, if he got some hooters, maybe he could

be on Baywatch.

You know, because since his career sucks now, you know, he probably doesn't have

a job.

I'm sorry to be bothering you boys, but this is an emergency.

Is your house on fire?

It's stored.

He was supposed to come home for lunch more than an hour ago.

It's not like Stuart to miss lunch.

I'll bet.

He's fat.

I've looked all over and I can't find him.

Maybe he's in the bathroom.

He's been gone for hours.

Maybe he has diarrhea.

He does not have diarrhea.

I'm his mother.

I would know if he had diarrhea.

Uh, okay.

Oh, my poor Stuart.

What could have happened to him?

Um, maybe somebody killed him and buried him in a shallow grave. Oh, no!

What's the matter?

Oh, thank you, boys.

Thank you for helping me find my Stuart.

They're the reward, right?

I wouldn't give anything to find my Stuart.

Anything?

What are you boys thinking?

Do you have an idea?

You know where he is, don't you?

Who?

Stuart! My little Stuart!

You have a little Stuart, too?

Have you looked in the garbage can?

Oh, no!

Beavis, you dumbass. Why'd you tell her that?

I don't know. You know, I'm just trying to help.

Stuart doesn't fit in a garbage can, dumbass.

Remember?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

If you wanted to put Stuart in a garbage can, you'd have to, like, cut him up

into little pieces.

Oh, no!

Forget it!

No!

Well, the important thing is to remain calm.

Keep a positive mental attitude.

Have faith that Stuart is all right and no harm has come to him. Uh, if you say

so.

Now, I'd appreciate it if you guys could help me distribute these around the

neighborhood.

Whoa.

So there is a reward.

Yes, yes, of course. Cool.

Yeah, yeah, rewards are cool.

Excuse me, young man. Could I ask you a couple of questions?

Whoa.

Is this on TV?

Hey, my name is Butthead.

And, uh... Could you just answer the question, please?

Butthead, you knew Stuart. Do you think it's possible he ran away?

Uh, yeah.

And why is that?

He's a dork.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, a dork.

These

guys

are in a trash truck.

Yeah.

Somebody probably threw him away.

Who are these guys?

I think it's the village people.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I'll be horn -swaddled and dipped in turds.

This guy keeps saying, I want to destroy you.

Yeah, yeah, it's like, um, you know, they got some pretty good lyrics, you

Seems like it must be pretty hard to, you know, just come up with stuff like

that.

Uh, yeah, but, you know, I bet if I was making as much money as these guys

probably make, I bet I could do it, too.

Um, hey, I don't know about that.

I don't know, I mean, you're kind of stupid. I don't know.

Shut up, Beavis. I could come up with stuff like this.

Okay.

Let's see you write a song. Come on.

Uh, okay.

Uh, let's play.

Uh, I want to hit you.

Then I want to kick you.

And then I want to smack you across the face.

Uh, and then I want some nachos.

Baby. Whoa!

That's pretty good, butthead.

Yeah, we can start a band.

Yeah? Yeah, that'll be cool.

to help us find him.

Like, um, you'd give up yet?

Yeah.

We're tired.

Well, it is getting dark.

Let's go home, get flashlights, and meet back here in 15 minutes, okay?

Yeah. Let's go home.

Where's the flashlight?

Uh, I think it's in the closet.

Whoa. Uh, uh -oh.

Oh, yeah.

Phew, I thought you guys forgot about me.

Uh, you better go home, Stuart.

Yeah, you're in trouble.

Hey, it's that dude.

What dude?

You know, that pilot dude.

That one who was, like, in a plane and he got shot down over Bodnar Hrstna

Slovignia.

And he's, like, a hero and stuff because he killed all these enemies.

And then he lived off bugs for a whole year.

He lived off bugs?

Yeah. That was all he could get to eat because, like, you know.

It was somewhere over in Europe, and they don't have Burger World.

Wow, that's cool, you know, because I've gone for a few days like that, you

know, but then I usually, like, have some nachos and stuff in between meals,

it doesn't really count.

Yeah.

She just called herself a brother.

Yeah, I mean, she's calling herself a brother, and, I mean, she's not a dude,

and she's not even black.

Uh, yeah, she is.

She's like, you know, one of the Cosby kids.

Oh.

Well, I guess, okay, so I guess she is black.

I think the message of this video is like, that the army kicks ass.

Today's army trains you with the skills you need to get ahead in today's world.

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