Original subtitles

Uh, is there, like, a reward for your kids?

What are you talking about?

Yeah, um, we found them, yeah.

What do you mean?

They were just playing in the yard.

Uh, no they weren't. They were, like, out on the sidewalk.

Yeah, they were just, like, wandering around and stuff, but, you know, but

they're all safe now, so, um, can we have some money?

Yeah, could we, like, just have some money for our troubles?

Well, if you boys need money that bad, maybe you can watch the kids for me.

What are you boys doing tonight?

We're gonna watch Tournament of Warriors 7. It's gonna roll.

Well, their dad's in town and wants to meet me, but I can't leave without

someone to watch the youngsters.

I'll pay each $5 and you can watch your warrior program on the TV.

Whoa.

She's gonna pay us money just to watch TV.

Yeah, that's gonna be cool.

Uh...

Get ready for a surprise.

You think it's a girl, but it's a guy. Oh, yeah, yeah.

It's like you think it's going to be a girl, and then it's a guy, see? It's

like, you know, it kind of comes out, you're kind of strange, you know? Yeah.

Ah!

What's your problem?

Stupid.

It kind of sounds like that, um, from a distance.

Oh, yeah.

Who did that song?

That's Butt Middler.

That looks like that mouse chick.

That Minnie Mouse, you know? Oh, yeah.

It's like, have you ever heard that joke?

Why did Mickey divorce Minnie?

I don't know.

Check it out. This is funny.

Because she was doing goofy.

Check this out, butt head.

I got a joke.

That's really good. Knock, knock.

Who's there?

You're a... You're a who?

You're a butt munch.

Dill hole.

And a turd.

Shut up, Viva.

I just made that up. Shut up, Viva. I made that one up myself.

Okay, I have one. Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Uh,

you're a... You're a who?

You're an... You're an... Oh, you're... Oh,

yeah.

That's pretty good.

Just make sure they stay out of trouble and are in bed by ten.

I'll be back in a few hours.

Hey, man, how's it going?

You're not supposed to touch them, Beavis.

It's like against the law or something.

This is going to be the coolest thing we have ever seen.

These are my power fighters, and this is their X -13 sonic night scope.

That's stupid.

Get out of the way, butt muncher. You're blocking the TV.

This is my house, and I don't want to watch this.

Hey, what are you doing?

Yeah, check this out.

Hey,

Butter, this kid's pretty cool.

Check this out.

Settle down, Beavis.

You're supposed to feed the baby and put him to bed.

There you go.

Are you stupid, Beavis?

How are they going to open that thing?

Dumbass.

There you go.

Uh,

uh, Beaver?

Did you cut the chief?

I don't think so.

The baby's diaper is dirty.

Really? That's cool.

I'm telling you, buddy, that kid kicks ass.

Read me a story.

No way.

You don't have to read if you're not in school, dude.

Don't you know anything?

No.

No.

These toys suck.

Yeah, really.

They're for, like, little kids or something.

Hey, Butt -head, didn't that old chick, like, want us to do something?

Uh, I think she said we're supposed to, like, go to bed.

Oh, yeah.

Then she's gonna, like, pay us some stuff, right?

Of course she is, Butt -Munch.

She better.

We're doing our jobs.

Everything bag comes initialed and includes four separate compartments and

detachable key holder.

The everything bag comes in bone, tan, and black.

Look!

Yeah.

Vanilla ice.

You know, they're always, like, putting this guy down and, you know, like,

making fun of him and saying he sucks and stuff.

But, you know, he really does suck. And this is one of those times where

everybody's right.

You know what I'm saying?

Are you just trying to say that this sucks, Beavis?

Sometimes you have a way with words.

Are you going to change the channel, butthead?

Why bother? All we seem to get on this TV is bad videos.

There's like three things wrong with this video.

One, this dude sucks.

And, uh, Free, he's trying to rap a love song.

You know what, man? If this was a real rap song about love, he'd be saying, We

have no love for Ho.

Yeah.

He'd be like, I don't love you, Ho, if I'm out the door.

Love.

Love.

Yeah.

Love.

Hi, Mommy.

What in the hell are you doing still up? Do a day.

Where are those two babysitters I left you with?

What are you doing?

What? Get out of my kids' beds.

Uh, we're not done.

Yeah, give me a few more hours. I'm giving you ten seconds to get out of

beds and get the hell out of my house.

Uh, what about our money?

Oh, yeah. And we're going to have to charge you a little extra, ma 'am,

of the poop.

Get out!

You're the worst damn babysitters I've ever seen!

Damn it, Beavis. She was probably going to pay us until you started blabbing

about poop.

Oh, yeah. Sorry about that.

That's okay, though, because I left a little something in the bed.

Cool.

Slip him back up. He sucks.

Come on, butthead, give him a chance.

They shouldn't give anybody a chance to suck.

How come these guys are acting so happy?

They're about to get their wiener chopped off.

What makes you think they're going to get their wiener chopped off, Beaver?

I don't know, isn't that what happens when you have an operation?

Boy, I tell you, Beavis, you're a stupid son of a bitch.

And your mother's a whore.

My mom's a slut. She doesn't charge for it, bunghole, and I'm not stupid.

Well, like, what are some other operations?

Uh, I think you can have, like, uh, your tubes tied.

What does that mean?

I think it's like you have your tube tied, and then it means you can just go

it any time you want.

Wow. I want to get that operation.

Because I want to do it right now.

I always want to do it.

I think you have to have, like, a lot of money.

And I think you also need a chick.

I knew it. See, there's always something.

There's always some reason where I can't score.

Damn it.

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