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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,989 --> 00:00:16,850 Whoa, I just, like, thought of something, Beavis. 2 00:00:18,750 --> 00:00:22,210 Someday, every one of these is going to be on a wiener. 3 00:00:22,710 --> 00:00:23,710 Oh, yeah. 4 00:00:26,250 --> 00:00:28,970 And then you know where it's going to be after that. 5 00:00:35,890 --> 00:00:37,430 Whoa, check it out, butthead. 6 00:00:38,250 --> 00:00:39,410 What is this thing? 7 00:00:41,370 --> 00:00:44,470 Uh, I think it's a ride or something. 8 00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:45,710 Oh, yeah. 9 00:00:46,330 --> 00:00:48,130 This is gonna be cool. Yeah. 10 00:00:51,190 --> 00:00:53,170 How come I'm not moving? 11 00:00:53,530 --> 00:00:57,290 Uh, you have to, like, start it first, dumbass. 12 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:00,320 This is gonna be cool. 13 00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:02,900 Here we go. 14 00:01:06,580 --> 00:01:10,260 Wait a second. I think it's starting to hurt, but it's... Ow! 15 00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:17,900 Ow! Make up your 16 00:01:17,900 --> 00:01:18,900 mind. 17 00:01:19,540 --> 00:01:22,240 Make up your mind. 18 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,800 I already made up my mind. 19 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:27,800 Fuck. 20 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:29,760 Well, now come on, give it back. 21 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:35,920 Whoa. 22 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,260 Is that a body? 23 00:01:43,660 --> 00:01:45,560 Yeah, I think so. 24 00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:49,680 You think they killed somebody just to make this video? 25 00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:53,020 They should have killed the people who made it. 26 00:01:57,390 --> 00:01:59,870 I wonder what that would be like, you know, like, to die. 27 00:02:00,910 --> 00:02:03,770 Eh, well, you're gonna find out someday. 28 00:02:04,590 --> 00:02:05,730 Are you threatening me? 29 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:07,950 I will never die. 30 00:02:09,150 --> 00:02:13,170 No, I'm serious, Eva. It's like, you know, you start to get all old and 31 00:02:15,190 --> 00:02:16,190 Yeah, really? 32 00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,070 What else? 33 00:02:18,690 --> 00:02:23,190 I think you start, like, losing control of your wee -wee. 34 00:02:25,370 --> 00:02:26,370 What else? 35 00:02:27,140 --> 00:02:32,720 Eh. Then you, like, start pooping a lot, and you, like, lose the grip of your 36 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:33,720 butt. 37 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:37,680 Ah! I'm gonna die! 38 00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:40,300 Yeah. 39 00:02:41,260 --> 00:02:42,260 You're old. 40 00:02:45,620 --> 00:02:48,980 Oh, I mean, but what would you do, like, if I died? 41 00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,760 I'd probably, like, move over to the middle of the couch. 42 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:54,460 It's more comfortable. 43 00:02:56,130 --> 00:02:57,130 Oh, yeah, yeah. 44 00:03:03,410 --> 00:03:06,230 Damn it! You're just freaking me out! Ow! 45 00:03:06,690 --> 00:03:08,530 You're squeezing my arm, buddy! Ow! 46 00:03:09,010 --> 00:03:11,950 Let go! 47 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,150 Get it off, buddy! 48 00:03:13,950 --> 00:03:15,770 Get it off. Get it off! 49 00:03:17,790 --> 00:03:19,370 Uh, what's playing? 50 00:03:20,610 --> 00:03:23,270 Uh... Emmer... 51 00:03:25,420 --> 00:03:28,240 E -M -E -R -G... Stop! 52 00:03:28,780 --> 00:03:29,739 What the fuck? 53 00:03:29,740 --> 00:03:31,440 Go get something to cut this thing off! 54 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:34,520 Ow! 55 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:38,400 Don't go anywhere, Beaver. 56 00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:40,700 I'll be back. 57 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:42,240 Ow! 58 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:45,800 Hi, 59 00:03:50,420 --> 00:03:52,260 would you like to try a slice of our party pizza today? 60 00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:54,310 Uh... Is it free? 61 00:03:54,530 --> 00:03:55,670 Yeah, it's a free sample. 62 00:03:56,090 --> 00:03:57,090 Cool. 63 00:03:57,750 --> 00:03:58,750 Here you go. 64 00:03:59,270 --> 00:04:00,790 Is that all? 65 00:04:01,290 --> 00:04:02,510 What a ripoff. 66 00:04:04,390 --> 00:04:05,890 Are you going to make some more? 67 00:04:07,010 --> 00:04:09,890 Because I like pepperoni and stuff. 68 00:04:10,470 --> 00:04:12,090 And big slices, too. 69 00:04:25,230 --> 00:04:28,190 Hey, B, check it out, a diaper for old people. 70 00:04:29,390 --> 00:04:34,850 Come on, butthead, get me out of here. 71 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:38,830 Some guy's going to take a dump in these. 72 00:04:40,470 --> 00:04:46,170 Come on, butthead, help me. 73 00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:49,250 You look like a dork. 74 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:04,900 Hey, looking for a tool? 75 00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:06,700 Tool. 76 00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:14,460 I need something sharp to, like, cut something off. 77 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:17,220 You mean like a pair of scissors? 78 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:18,880 Uh, no. 79 00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:20,700 Do you have, like, a chainsaw? 80 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:24,840 Well, we don't have any of those, but we have some of these small wood saws. 81 00:05:26,140 --> 00:05:27,420 Uh, okay. 82 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,280 I'll trade you for these diapers. 83 00:05:30,750 --> 00:05:31,970 You can poop in them. 84 00:05:33,590 --> 00:05:35,730 Okay, I'll just put these back for you. 85 00:05:37,130 --> 00:05:38,130 Okay, Beavis. 86 00:05:38,650 --> 00:05:39,429 Damn it! 87 00:05:39,430 --> 00:05:42,090 We're going to get you out of here. Hurry up, buddy! Come on, I'm going to 88 00:05:42,190 --> 00:05:44,930 Hurry up! Hold still, Beavis. It's only going to hurt for a second. 89 00:05:46,290 --> 00:05:47,290 Let's see. 90 00:05:47,870 --> 00:05:49,010 Ow! Ow! 91 00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:51,370 Ow! Not my arm, buddy! Ow! 92 00:05:54,530 --> 00:05:55,530 Map. 93 00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:01,320 Remember that time that guy came into Burger World because he was lost? 94 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:06,420 And you, like, drew a map with, like, ketchup and french fries and pickles? 95 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:08,560 Oh, yeah. 96 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,480 I was just making stuff up. 97 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:16,860 You were like, okay, you see? You go right down here, and then you turn left, 98 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,100 and then see this pickle? This is like a big building. 99 00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:20,500 Yeah. 100 00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:22,220 He believed me. 101 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:25,080 He was like, go on. 102 00:06:25,370 --> 00:06:26,089 Uh -huh. 103 00:06:26,090 --> 00:06:27,150 Okay. Mm -hmm. 104 00:06:30,030 --> 00:06:31,030 Hey, 105 00:06:31,610 --> 00:06:34,870 buddy, you know, like, sometimes when we get rides home, and there's, like, a 106 00:06:34,870 --> 00:06:37,110 lot of dudes, and they're all stuffed in the backseat like that? 107 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:38,330 Uh, yeah. 108 00:06:38,450 --> 00:06:40,530 Um, is it normal to get wood? 109 00:06:40,890 --> 00:06:43,730 Viva, you boner -popping pervert. 110 00:06:44,250 --> 00:06:45,910 It's not even normal to ask. 111 00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:47,810 Okay. Oh, okay. 112 00:06:49,930 --> 00:06:51,890 Whoa, is that a demolition derby? 113 00:06:52,190 --> 00:06:53,270 Uh, yeah. 114 00:06:53,670 --> 00:06:54,710 I think it is. 115 00:06:56,590 --> 00:06:58,610 Demolition derby kicks ass. 116 00:06:59,150 --> 00:07:00,150 Yeah, yeah. 117 00:07:00,790 --> 00:07:05,830 You know, I can't think of anything that kicks as much ass as a demolition 118 00:07:05,830 --> 00:07:07,310 derby. Yeah. 119 00:07:07,870 --> 00:07:08,870 Yeah. 120 00:07:09,410 --> 00:07:12,710 Does your mom still go out to Sunset Speedway and watch those? 121 00:07:13,050 --> 00:07:14,050 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 122 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,100 Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. 123 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,140 Sunset Speedway presents the Duke of Dirt Derby. 124 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:23,380 The Barons of Bash, the Kings of Crash, and the Sunset Derby Spectacular with 125 00:07:23,380 --> 00:07:25,700 skills, thrills, and bone -crunching bills. 126 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,240 See, it's my place for the whole thing, but you'll only need the edge. 127 00:07:30,140 --> 00:07:32,360 Shut up, Beavis. 128 00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:35,840 Your voice is too high to do that. 129 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,520 Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. 130 00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:38,900 Shut up, Swaddle. 131 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,000 Sunday, 132 00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:41,620 Sunday, Sunday. 133 00:07:42,140 --> 00:07:44,020 You have a high voice, Beavis. 134 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,040 Shut up, butthead. I don't talk like that. 135 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,240 Oh, no. I'm going to die. 136 00:07:50,420 --> 00:07:51,540 Whoa, whoa. Hey. 137 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:52,840 Ow. 138 00:07:53,580 --> 00:07:54,880 Ow. Ow. 139 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:56,419 Oh, thanks. 140 00:07:56,420 --> 00:07:57,420 You okay there, buddy? 141 00:07:57,780 --> 00:07:58,780 No. 142 00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:03,240 You should stick your wiener in there, Beaver. Oh, yeah. 143 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,960 Your blood pressure's dangerously high for a boy your age. 144 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:08,500 Really? Cool. 145 00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:12,720 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. This ain't joking around, okay? I want you to go 146 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:13,720 doctor right away. 147 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,880 Now, in the meantime, I'm going to give you some pills that should help your 148 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:17,880 high blood pressure. 149 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:21,800 Now, it's very important that you avoid any kind of stressful situation. 150 00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:27,840 Try to relax, maybe stay home, watch a little TV. Give me the pill! Give me the 151 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:28,840 pill! Now! 152 00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,419 Just get this open here. 153 00:08:37,179 --> 00:08:38,220 Damn it! Open! 154 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,179 Damn it! Son of a bitch! Open! 155 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,479 Funnel down. 156 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:44,480 Butt munch? Shut up! 157 00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:46,580 Come on, open! Damn it, I'll kick your ass! 158 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:49,260 No! No! 159 00:08:51,020 --> 00:08:54,380 I got it! 160 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:55,600 I got it! 161 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:03,160 Butt it! I think my arm's stuck! You need to relax, baby. 162 00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:15,370 No, people on a couch. 163 00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:16,610 Is this Friends? 164 00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:20,670 Uh, no, it's a video. 165 00:09:20,950 --> 00:09:24,550 It's like, whenever they want to show that a band is just like, you know, a 166 00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:27,550 great bunch of guys, they make them all crowd onto a couch. 167 00:09:29,530 --> 00:09:31,810 You know, that show Friends is stupid. 168 00:09:32,110 --> 00:09:36,690 It's like, they're always saying stupid stuff, and, um, it's all intellectual 169 00:09:36,690 --> 00:09:37,690 and something. 170 00:09:38,890 --> 00:09:42,090 Dammit, Beavis, you're supposed to watch that show with the sound down and just 171 00:09:42,090 --> 00:09:43,090 check out the chicks. 172 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:47,620 Yeah, but, um, I don't know, even the chick, like, that one chick is way too 173 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:48,620 skinny. 174 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:51,480 Her face looks like a scarecrow. 175 00:09:52,060 --> 00:09:54,960 Yeah, but her last name is Cox. 176 00:10:00,580 --> 00:10:01,580 You know, 177 00:10:01,820 --> 00:10:04,900 I think you're right, Butt -Head. I think, um, there have been a lot of 178 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,480 you know, like with, um, where the whole band, you know, is on a couch. 179 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,160 Yeah. 180 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,520 You know, Butt -Head, um, Maybe you should get rid of this couch and, you 181 00:10:14,540 --> 00:10:16,340 and get us some chairs to go sit in, you know. 182 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:17,560 Change of pace. 183 00:10:18,180 --> 00:10:21,780 Hey, King Turd, go out and buy them yourself if you don't like this couch. 184 00:10:23,460 --> 00:10:24,460 What did you call me? 185 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,920 I called you King Turd. 186 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,440 Because that's what you are. 187 00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:33,960 That sounds kind of like a compliment, but it... 12273