Original subtitles

Prostitutes are coming to Highland.

Whoa.

Yeah, yeah. Cool.

That's right.

But they're actually policewomen posing as prostitutes. Officials say Highland

doesn't have much of a prostitution problem, and they are determined to keep

that way. The new campaign will feature female officers dressed as ladies of the

night, ready to arrest anyone who makes the mistake of propositioning them.

Uh, positioning them?

Maybe I'll hold it in that possession while I pull down my pants.

Prostitute.

We're there.

Yeah.

What is this?

Oh, I know.

Doesn't that sound like Cotton Eye Joe? We used to sing this in kindergarten.

Oh, yeah. I remember that.

Kindergarten was cool.

Yeah, yeah.

Kindergarten rule.

It was like finger paints and you just like mess everything up and then you

drink a bunch of Kool -Aid and then go like lie down on your little towel.

That was cool. Yeah.

That was back when school was cool.

Yeah, really.

And, like, sometimes I go running around with my pants down. It's like I

wouldn't even get in trouble.

Remember that time in kindergarten when we were playing door and you called the

teacher a whore?

And then you tried to give her some of that play money?

Yeah, yeah. I think that was the first time I ever got some.

You didn't get any, Beavis.

She just thanked you and told you to shut up. I know.

That's what I'm talking about.

This

is

kind of freaking me out.

Can you change it, butthead?

Cool.

Are you going to have another seizure?

Come on, buddy, change it.

That was pretty cool.

You know,

Hank, everything I've ever needed to know, I learned in kindergarten.

You don't need to know anything.

I learned it in kindergarten.

Now remember, the Johns gotta make a clear offer. Money for sex or the

won't hold up. Yeah, yeah. I know how it works.

Hey, Beavis.

There's one.

Cool.

Check this out.

Hey, baby.

Hi there.

Whoa.

I like, uh, how much or something?

Fifty. Cool.

Hey, Beavis, you got fifty cents?

No, fifty bucks.

This is just what we need.

She must really want it or she's going to pay us 50 bucks to do it.

God, what a dumbass.

You dumbass.

Very funny, guys.

Now, why don't we go up to my room? Yeah.

Let's get naked.

Cool.

Let's get naked.

Why didn't you come a little closer? I won't bite.

Whoa, hey, check it out, butthead.

There's a giant rubber in the bathroom.

This could be it. Come on. Make a specific offer for sex. Make a specific

for sex.

That's a shower cap, dumbass.

Check this out.

Look, forget about the bathroom.

Well, like, uh, what now?

That depends on you.

You've got to tell me what you want to do.

Uh, I'd like to do it. Yeah, yeah, me too.

Really?

What exactly do you mean by it?

No, really. What does it mean?

Uh, you know, it.

Yeah, and we want to see your thingies.

It? My thingies?

Come on, you're both big boys. Can't you just be a little more specific?

Look, I can't help you guys unless you say very specifically what you want. I

need a hard offer of money for sex!

Hard? Damn it! Please don't blow it!

Are you interested in paying cash for sexual intercourse? Is that what you

Sexual intercourse.

Damn it, Linda, that's entrapment. Hey, check it out. This chick really wants

it.

I've never seen anything like this.

Yeah!

Yes, I know.

Let me get that on the bone.

Okay.

He's a dog lover.

Would you do a dog, Beaver?

Let me think about that.

You mean like if I could never score with a chick? Yeah.

If you could never score with a chick, would you do a dog?

Let me think.

I don't know. I guess like maybe a beagle would be nice.

Or Dalmatian or something.

It depends on their personality.

You'd do a dog.

Yeah.

You know, I'd probably have to, like, go around, like, you know, sniff his butt

first, you know.

That reminds me of this joke.

There's these two dudes, and they see this dog licking its nads.

And so they say, why does it do that?

And then the one dude goes,

Because he can.

And then he says, well, maybe you ought to pet him first.

So why does he lick his mask then?

Because he can.

Get it?

Not really. I mean, anybody can lick a dog's mask.

So what?

So you mean you're like just a cop?

Yes. So like, if you're a cop, why don't you get rid of this dork so we can get

it on?

Look, you're lucky you didn't get arrested. Yeah, really.

Do you know of any real prostitutes around here?

Because I still have a stiffy.

Get out of here!

We were going to pay money for sex.

This looks like the opening to that show.

Um, that late night. Yeah.

It's like top ten tall places to take a crap off of.

Yeah, that kind of does the job.

Whoa.

You think you're really up there on that building like that?

Uh, no.

People don't do that anymore. It's like they have computers and they like

just... Bake it. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Nobody has any balls anymore.

Boy, you think he's going to jump?

Uh, no.

And I don't care either.

You know what would be really cool?

Is if, like, he took a leak from up there. Yeah, yeah.

He should take two dumps, one leak, cut the cheese, and then he should jump.

That would rule.

Yeah.

But it reminds me of that movie I saw, that crocodile zombie.

And I was just going to say, you know, he's from Down Under.

You know, Down Under. Okay, Viva. I get it. Down Under.

You know, this is kind of like that movie with the Beatles in it where

playing on the roof. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I saw that on the Discovery Channel.

The Beatles.

Fuck. Yeah, really.

How come everybody liked them so much? I don't know.

Maybe it's because they were handsome.

You should try to get in the Beatles. I heard they have an opening.

Opening.

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