Original subtitles

And when this magic bullet went into the president's chest, it had to make a

sharp turn in order to exit his body from the neck.

Then it would have had to turn right.

then left, and somehow have enough energy to hit the governor in the front

Clearly the assassination was a conspiracy.

Thank you, Daria. That gave me the chills.

People, these have been some of the best oral reports I've ever heard.

Oral.

I'm going to do an anal report.

See, the last two people we've yet to hear from are Beavis and Butthead. It's

time for your reports on a historical American figure.

Uh... Now, Beavis and Butthead, if you don't give your reports, I'll be forced

to give you both Fs for the semester.

Okay?

Uh... Okay.

Yes, of course.

An F would mean being left back.

Repeating the ninth grade?

Uh, let's see.

Uh, after nine of eight, nine, ten.

Whoa, Beavis. That means we won't have to be in the tenth grade.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool.

You guys will never graduate.

Uh, never masturbate?

Graduate. It's when you're all done with school.

You mean like school ends?

That's right, Beavis. When you graduate, you'll never have to attend another

class again if you don't want to.

But that's not going to happen unless you pass American history, which means

need to give your oral report right now.

Okay? Uh, excuse me. Uh, I have an oral report.

No, wait, me first.

Shut up, Steve. It's my turn.

No, wait, not this time.

Um, my anal report is about, um, I mean, my oral report is about, um,

um, um.

Uh, okay.

Um... Um... It's, um... It's about, um...

Beavis, are you not prepared?

No, wait, wait, wait. My report is on the time me and Butthead had, um... Had,

like, dinner and stuff.

Now, Beavis, what does that have to do with American history? Shut up! I'm not

done yet.

Beavis, this better be educational, okay?

Um... Okay, so, like, um...

Once upon a time, I mean, like, last week, we were going to, like, eat.

Hey, what are you doing?

Look.

Oh, yeah.

That was cool.

I mean, that was, um...

Educational. And then we were sitting there... Hey,

Beavis.

If you, like, look at the window, you can stare at chicks and they can't see

you.

Really? Cool.

It's not working.

No, dumbass. Over there.

This is cool.

That dinner, like, changed my life and stuff.

Yeah, and like, I'll never forget it.

The end.

Beavis, that was the worst report I have ever heard.

What did your report have to do with American history?

Well, it happened last week.

And I was like, in America.

So I was like, history.

Pretty cool.

Thank you very much.

Well, for making an effort, Beavis, albeit a very weak one, I'm going to

you a D -.

Yes. Cool.

Whoa.

That ruled.

Now, Butthead, please make your report about a figure in American history.

Uh, okay.

Uh, my report is, uh, my report is about the time I kicked Beavis in the nads

and he was, like, passed out all day.

Butthead. He, like, turned blue and stopped breathing.

Butthead.

Then, like, he couldn't remember his name.

All right, Butthead, I'll give you a D-, okay?

The end.

We're going to graduate.

Hey,

buddy, how are you thinking? Shut up, Beavis. Oh, my God.

You may be about to see the coolest video you have ever seen in your life.

Now, Beavis.

Beavis.

Beavis.

This guy's probably just like a stuntman or something.

I bet he's not even in the band, huh?

Like, what's this song supposed to be about, anyway?

Whoa.

Look at that dude back there.

Beavis.

Beavis? Are you there?

Beavis, what's your problem?

Beavis, it's not even real. It's just, like, specially packed.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

This is cool.

This is a damn good video.

It's like... Beavis, are you going to say anything?

No.

Damn it, Beavis. Nap out of it.

Dumbass. I'm going to change your channel. Butthead, I'm only going to

this once. If you touch that remote, I'm going to kick your ass.

Yeah, right.

Damn it, Beavis. Nap out of it right now.

Uh, you're right here, Beaver.

What's your problem?

Oh, I just, like, just, like, blacked out or something. What's going on?

We just saw a dude running around on fire.

No way, really? And I missed it?

Uh, no, you saw the whole thing, dumbass.

Wow.

I don't know. I wasn't here.

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