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Your assignment this weekend, class, is
to think of something that is a mystery
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00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:24,020
to you and see if you can solve it,
okay?
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00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:28,680
Now let's use the last few minutes of
class today to decide on your topic.
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00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:32,920
Oh, boy.
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00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:40,700
So have you guys decided on a mystery
yet?
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00:00:41,060 --> 00:00:42,140
Uh, no.
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00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:43,620
We're not going to do it.
8
00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:45,280
Yeah, yeah. It sounds too hard.
9
00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,260
I just like to relax on the weekend, you
know?
10
00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:51,280
Come on, guys. This should be easy.
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00:00:51,620 --> 00:00:54,980
There's mysterious things happening
around us every day.
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00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:59,560
You know, some people have become rich
and famous just by solving mysteries.
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00:01:00,250 --> 00:01:04,150
For example, this morning, would there
be anything that you didn't understand
14
00:01:04,150 --> 00:01:05,150
found interesting?
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00:01:05,770 --> 00:01:07,450
He said morning wood.
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00:01:08,970 --> 00:01:11,030
Morning wood.
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Hmm.
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It's kind of racy, but I have to agree,
it is a bit of a mystery.
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Okay, I'll approve your idea about
morning wood, but only if you take it
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seriously, okay? And approach your topic
from a scientific standpoint.
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Hey, Beavis, if we discover the mystery
of Morning Wood, we will be famous the
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world over.
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Whoa,
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check it out. Someone's getting on a
chair, buddy.
25
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Maybe there's gonna be a hanging.
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00:01:47,790 --> 00:01:51,470
Uh, it's just someone standing on a
chair, Beavis.
27
00:01:52,630 --> 00:01:55,210
You automatically think someone's gonna
hang himself?
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00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:58,050
Ah, yeah, I guess I'm just, uh...
29
00:01:58,460 --> 00:02:00,680
Whoa, I just saw a boob, Butthead. Check
it out.
30
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:04,580
You always think you're seeing a boob
like that. It was probably just an elbow
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00:02:04,580 --> 00:02:05,580
or something.
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00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,120
No way, Butthead. It was a boob.
33
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,720
Well, so what? You only thought for like
a second or something. What's so great
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00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:12,720
about that?
35
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,940
Well, a second is better than nothing.
36
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No, it isn't. It sucks.
37
00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:22,860
Damn it, Butthead. Why do you always
have to tear down everything good in my
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00:02:22,860 --> 00:02:23,860
life?
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00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:25,880
Because your life sucks, Beavis.
40
00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,120
Your life...
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fucks and nobody likes you.
42
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:31,380
Really? I don't really give a crap.
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You don't have any friends.
44
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I have a little special friend.
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Yeah, shut up, Viva.
46
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,760
Your special friend probably hates you,
too.
47
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No way, butthead. You wish.
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Ah, she's got blood in her eye. Oh,
that's a freaky butthead. I don't want
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watch this. Come on, change it.
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00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:55,740
Viva, you're a wuss.
51
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Damn it.
52
00:02:57,710 --> 00:02:58,770
Someone should help her.
53
00:02:59,030 --> 00:03:02,650
They should just, like, stop having the
video and just, like, go help her.
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00:03:03,530 --> 00:03:04,530
She's all beat up.
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00:03:05,470 --> 00:03:07,990
I, like, feel all sorry for her and
stuff.
56
00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:10,270
Kind of freaking me out.
57
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:21,890
Hey, guys, what's happening?
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Uh... We need some of your, like,
scientific stuff.
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00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:27,059
Yeah, yeah.
60
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We're, like, doing a scientific
experiment.
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00:03:29,260 --> 00:03:31,760
And, um, we're gonna need to take some
of your stuff.
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00:03:33,020 --> 00:03:34,140
Wow, cool.
63
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:35,560
What are you doing?
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00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,140
Um, we're gonna find out how come, like,
you know, in the morning... Ow!
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00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,580
Shut up, dumbass. It's top secret.
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00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,140
Oh, yeah. Sorry about that.
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00:03:44,060 --> 00:03:48,100
Uh, we can't tell you, because, like,
then we'd have to kill you.
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00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,530
But once we're, like, rich and famous...
Then we'll kill you. I mean, I mean,
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tell you. Come on, Beavis.
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Let's get the stuff and get out of here.
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00:03:58,650 --> 00:04:01,110
Well, um, what do you think makes it
happen?
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00:04:02,070 --> 00:04:03,530
Uh, I don't know.
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00:04:03,890 --> 00:04:05,770
That's why we're doing this, dumbass.
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00:04:06,770 --> 00:04:11,090
Um, because I was thinking, like, maybe
there's, like, a morning wood fairy. You
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know, like the tooth fairy.
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00:04:14,590 --> 00:04:15,870
Morning wood fairy?
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00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:19,649
You mean, like, with a magic wand or
something?
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Damn it,
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Beavis, quit screwing around. We've got
scientific work to do.
80
00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:30,640
Besides, there's no such thing as
fairies.
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00:04:31,420 --> 00:04:33,060
Fairies are for dill holes.
82
00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,440
Well, that fairy in Peter Pan had a
pretty nice butt.
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Gave me a boner.
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Just think, Beavis.
85
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:48,740
By the time the sun comes up, we will
have solved the mystery of Morning Wood.
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We could rule the world.
87
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,520
Yeah, yeah. We're gonna be rich.
88
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,340
And get chicks, yeah.
89
00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,920
Uh, are you sure we've got everything?
90
00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:06,440
Um, yeah. We've got, like, Stuart's
science stuff, and some, um, food, and,
91
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:07,440
some, um, stuff.
92
00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:10,540
Uh, what's that?
93
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:12,740
Uh, what? Um, nothing.
94
00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:14,900
Uh, come on.
95
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:17,260
Give me that, Beaver. No!
96
00:05:19,310 --> 00:05:20,570
Whoa, cool.
97
00:05:21,050 --> 00:05:22,130
Spank magazine.
98
00:05:23,150 --> 00:05:24,150
April.
99
00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:25,910
Cool.
100
00:05:27,470 --> 00:05:29,030
Check out page 63.
101
00:05:35,270 --> 00:05:37,430
Damn it, Beavis, this isn't scientific.
102
00:05:37,790 --> 00:05:40,130
It'll only give us artificial stiffies.
103
00:05:41,270 --> 00:05:43,410
Now we've got serious work to do.
104
00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:46,090
Whatever you do, don't fall asleep.
105
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:49,390
Okay, here we go.
106
00:06:30,950 --> 00:06:36,130
Chinese. I think that's that Connie
Schlong chick that called the
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00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:37,390
mom a bitch on TV.
108
00:06:37,890 --> 00:06:39,310
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
109
00:06:42,250 --> 00:06:44,810
Uh, a cardboard box.
110
00:06:47,550 --> 00:06:53,030
But sex?
111
00:07:02,860 --> 00:07:04,160
That guy's wearing his mom's coat.
112
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,860
I think that's your mom's coat, Viva.
113
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,580
I think he's wearing it to show that he
did her.
114
00:07:10,980 --> 00:07:12,380
Oh, yeah.
115
00:07:13,380 --> 00:07:14,380
What a slut.
116
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,060
Oh, look, they're all wearing them.
117
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,280
I have one of those coats in my closet
right now.
118
00:07:20,980 --> 00:07:24,000
You know, you should go easy on my mom,
okay?
119
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,140
Isn't she already easy enough?
120
00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:28,700
Enough!
121
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,820
I'd like to talk about roller coasters
for a minute.
122
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,560
Uh, okay, Beaver.
123
00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:41,480
You know, like, sometimes when you're on
a roller coaster and it feels like your
124
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,360
nads are floating inside your sack?
125
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:44,920
Uh, yeah.
126
00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:48,220
Well, um, that gives me a special
feeling.
127
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,820
I also get that on elevators sometimes.
128
00:07:51,380 --> 00:07:56,080
Uh, oh yeah, me too. I kind of get a
special feeling in my butt cheeks when
129
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:57,080
elevator goes down.
130
00:07:57,460 --> 00:07:58,460
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
131
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:07,820
That looks kind of like Conan O 'Brien.
132
00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:09,439
Oh, yeah.
133
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:14,180
I heard he has a gigantic schlong. Uh,
no, you're thinking of me, Beaver.
134
00:08:15,420 --> 00:08:17,420
No, I was thinking of me, actually.
135
00:08:37,740 --> 00:08:40,320
I had a dream about page 63.
136
00:08:41,460 --> 00:08:42,620
Did you see anything?
137
00:08:43,179 --> 00:08:44,179
No.
138
00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:47,000
I had a dream I got a stiffy.
139
00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:55,400
Maybe Morning Wood is supposed to be a
mystery. It's like the secret is too
140
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:56,400
dangerous.
141
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:59,360
You know, it's like I'm just glad it
happened.
142
00:09:00,460 --> 00:09:01,460
Yeah.
143
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:04,420
I never wanted to be a scientist anyway.
144
00:09:05,820 --> 00:09:08,710
Science. Fucks. Yeah, not really.
145
00:09:09,390 --> 00:09:10,950
Let's go break something.
146
00:09:11,690 --> 00:09:12,690
Yeah.
147
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,570
Like, maybe later.
148
00:09:32,590 --> 00:09:34,430
More than a feeling!
149
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:39,580
I woke up this morning, the sun was
gone.
150
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:43,500
Oh my, then it slipped away!
151
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:49,420
That song's stupid.
152
00:09:55,700 --> 00:09:58,940
Hey, get a haircut, hippie!
153
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:02,800
Yeah, this isn't the 60s, dill hole.
154
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:05,780
My uncle didn't go to Vietnam!
155
00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:10,200
Just so you could walk around with long
hippie boy hair with your shirt off.
156
00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:11,700
Damn it.
157
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:15,840
Your uncle never went to Vietnam,
Beavis. He was in jail.
158
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:18,840
I know, I know. That's what I said.
159
00:10:19,060 --> 00:10:22,000
My uncle didn't go to Vietnam so you
could have long hair. See?
160
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:23,480
That's what I meant.
161
00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:27,360
You're a stupid, dumb bunghole, Beavis.
162
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:29,080
I am not.
163
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:36,120
Shut up. I think this is supposed to be
like... Freaking us
164
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:37,760
out, but I'm on freak.
165
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:39,159
Yeah, yeah, really.
166
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:42,940
In fact, this video is, like, making me
feel totally normal.
167
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,780
Yeah, yeah, I mean, this is, you know,
just a normal video like you always see,
168
00:10:46,860 --> 00:10:50,620
really. Yeah, it's like, you know, if I
turned on the TV and this was on, I'd
169
00:10:50,620 --> 00:10:54,000
just go like, yep, that's what I thought
I was going to see.
170
00:10:54,050 --> 00:10:58,600
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