Original subtitles

Howdy, Tom.

Doing a little paving?

Yeah, I'm doing it myself this time.

Look like you got a little project going there, Bill.

Yeah, I'm putting in a new hedge.

Whoa, it's pretty warm out here on the old tarmac.

Boy, it sure as hell is.

I could use a tall, cold one right about now.

What do you say?

Sounds good to me.

Aren't you going to turn it off?

No, sir. I had a bitch of a time starting her up this morning.

You get her down at Morgan Rentals like I told you?

Yep, sure as hell did.

She's due back before noon, and I don't want to get stuck paying for the

weekend.

Whoa, fake bug.

This is that Bjork chick.

I heard she has a, you know, like a schlong.

Where'd you hear that?

Listen,

this guy told me.

What guy?

This guy in the bathroom.

You mean the bathroom at school?

No, no, the bathroom right here.

Right here in this house.

What are you talking about, Beavis?

There's this dude who's in there sometimes.

I'm serious.

He's probably still there. He was there this morning.

Damn it, Beavis.

There's no one in there.

Yeah, there is, but go check it out.

Beavis.

You're a bunghole.

Uh... We have to flush the toilet next time.

There wasn't anybody in there.

Usually he's in the mirror.

Uh... Don't they look like a butt munch?

Um, yeah.

Do they have, like, blonde hair?

Yeah, yeah. Of him, yeah.

Yeah. Mm -hmm.

And do they kind of talk like this?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, kind of like that. It kind of goes like... Yeah, yeah.

Bjork has a dog.

Dumbass.

Hey, Beavis.

Did you do your homework?

Um...

Hey, you freakish punks. Did you miss the school bus?

Oh, God!

Woo! Rock on!

Todd kicked ass.

Yes!

Sunday. We're going to have wheels just like Todd.

Yeah. Then we can, like, drive chicks to school.

You dumbass.

If we ever get a car and chicks, we're not going anywhere near a school.

Hey, buddy, check it out.

Cool.

Let's catch up with Todd and those chicks.

I tell you what, after some of the problems I've had around here, I ain't

let no one touch my yard no more. Yeah, I know what you mean.

I know a shortcut.

Now, the Earth's substrata are continually shifting, creating fault

occasional shock waves.

Hey, butthead, how are we going to find Todd?

I think he's in here.

When this happens... Believe this.

I think we're experiencing a slight tremor out here.

Now, the magnitude of these tremors we're feeling right now will be measured

using a device called the Richter.

Yeah.

Yep.

Thank God for the faculty lounge.

Our only refuge from those little bastards.

Yeah, I know that's right.

What the hell?

Wrong room.

What are you guys doing?

You guys are getting in big trouble.

Uh, we're looking for Todd.

You guys could go to jail for this.

Todd's in jail?

I don't know, but he dropped out of school two years ago.

Uh, really?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

We forgot.

Oh, boy. Hey, look at that. He's trying to be Forrest Gump.

Yeah.

Life does like a little box of chocolate.

That would be cool to, like, try to pick up a chick by giving her a box of

chocolate.

Because then, like, when you strike out, you can at least eat the chocolate.

Oh, yeah, that's not a bad idea.

I think I'm going to go get me some M &M's and spice my monkey.

You know what they say about short dudes?

They got like, you know, really big, you know.

Yeah, yeah, I know, but you know, I tried telling a chick that once, and she

said, I don't care how big your turds are.

You dumbass.

Yeah, no, I'm serious, but you know, I'm going, I got really long turds.

You were telling a chick you have long turds?

Yeah, yeah, and it didn't work.

I said, you know, they call me Mr. Poop -a -lot.

Beavis, you're making me sick. Shut up. I was talking about wieners.

Oh, I see.

This thing's too damn slow.

We're never going to find Todd.

Well, I guess it's about that time.

Oh,

damn

it. The damn thing quit on me. I don't have time for this. What the hell

happened to my hedge?

Boy, I tell you what, I'm going to give a piece of my mind to them bastards down

at Morgan's.

You and your damn steamroller ruined my hedge.

To hell with your hedge. Look at my driveway.

You're going to pay for this, Anderson.

Like hell I am. You're the one who told me to rent from Morgan's. Now get the

hell off my property, you son of a bitch.

And if I ever see that damn dog of yours peeing on my yard again, I'm going to

shoot both of you.

Wow.

Something's different about this.

Yeah.

It's like it sounds different and looks different than like most other videos

you see lately.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kind of cool, yeah.

I'm hungry, Beavis. Go make some pancakes.

Come on, butthead. I want to watch this.

You can watch it later.

It's gonna be on about 50 times.

Really?

Well, okay.

I guess I could use some pancakes.

Okay, um, where's the syrup?

Gotta make the pancakes first, dumbass.

Um, hey, where's the spatula?

Uh, I think it's in my bedroom.

Oh, okay.

Look under the bed.

Oh, here's the pan, too.

Cool.

Hey, how's it going?

Hey.

Pretty good.

Okay.

How's that video?

It's pretty cool. Now shut up and get cooking.

How much mayonnaise do I put in?

None.

One what?

Okay, I'll just put one cup then.

Hey, butthead.

Is there supposed to be smoke?

Uh, I think so.

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