Original subtitles

Morgendorfer?

Sanchez?

Dunker? Is that it?

Well, it should be. But I don't see Beavis and Butthead. They usually don't

field trips.

Uh, something's wrong.

Oh yeah, maybe we're late or something.

Uh, maybe.

Like, I mean, what should we do?

Uh, let's write big butt on the chalkboard.

Yeah, cool.

Wait a minute, Beaver.

I think it's trying to tell us something.

Uh.

Feel.

Tit. Uh.

Tripe. Uh.

Todd. Uh.

Laundry is cool.

You know, I mean, we ought to try, like, picking up on a chick in a laundromat.

Why?

Because, you know, you could, like,

look at their underwear and say, oh,

I bet that underwear was on your butt.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

That's pretty cool.

Or you could, like, go up to one and say, uh, so I see you wear underwear.

I wear underwear, too.

Want to do it?

Yeah, yeah, that's even better.

And then, um, hey, and then, you know, and then check this out. Then you can

say, like, um, hey, you can say, oh, um, hey, since you're already doing a load,

you know, not load, there's always that. You can say, you know, since you're

doing a load, um, hey, why don't you, uh.

Do my underwear, too. And then you can, like, pull down your pants, see?

And then you already have your pants on, see?

You're already halfway there. Yeah.

And then, like, your underwear would be in there with Perth.

Yeah.

I'm ready for love.

Okay, people, I hope you're ready for our hike down beautiful Mount Perdido.

Wow.

Now,

class, even though there's an abundance of breathtaking rock formations and

fascinating plant life, I have to warn you that this hike will be quite a

workout, okay? I've got a rock formation in my pants.

Now, to pass the time, I thought we might enjoy some music, okay?

Any requests?

Like 99 bottles of beer?

Good, Dean.

But beer and driving don't mix, okay?

How about 99 bottles of tea on the wall?

Well, let's try sort of a different arrangement, okay?

What's going on? Why is everybody honking?

Hey, hey, Beavis and Butthead, no!

Come on.

I'm sorry, but obviously you boys can't be trusted to be by yourselves in the

back. I want you to come up here right now and switch seats with me, okay?

We'll be better.

We'll give him a pressed fruit bowl.

I mean it, boys. Come on. Get up here right now.

And please pull your pants up, okay?

Oh, yeah.

Now, I hope you guys understand why I'm making you sit up here.

There are rules on the bus, and they're for your own good. Now, try to behave.

I'm going to go sit in the back, okay?

Rules? Fuck. Yeah.

Stay in your lane, you son of a bitch! This isn't the end of you, you moron!

Cool.

That dude's pissed.

Yeah, really.

How come he gets to, like, flip off cars and stuff, but then he's like... When

we do it, we have to come set up here.

Uh, I think it's like, if you're in front of that line, then you get to do

that stuff.

Whoa, really?

You mean we can, like, scream at people and give them a finger?

Let's go.

Uh, hey, dude.

Hey, sit the hell down!

Hey, get out of the lane, you son of a bitch, or we'll kick your ass, bastard!

Watch where you're going!

What's gotten into those two now?

Get out of my lane, you son of a bitch!

Yeah, that means you too. All right, that's it, butthead. Sit down. You too,

Beavis. Come on.

Okay,

people. It's obvious we're all a little overexcited. I think I'll cool things

down with a little song I wrote.

It's called Touch a Mountain.

Okay?

Children of the earth, rejoice.

Each new day we have a choice. So touch a

mountain.

Climb a mountain.

Feel a mountain. Aw, dammit. I missed the turn.

That was cool.

Yeah.

Check it out. That dude's choking the cow's chicken.

No, he's not, bung munch.

That's how you get milk.

You have to spank a cow's monkey to get milk?

No, you squeeze its boob.

Really? I don't know what cow had boobs.

I thought it just had, you know, that big nut sack with all the wieners

off it.

I like it when old people let their mouth hang open because

they don't remember to close it.

Yeah, yeah.

I think I'm going to do that right now.

It felt kind of good.

Maybe I'll try it.

This is pretty cool.

You know another cool thing about cows?

They get to chew their own pud.

Really? Yeah. I learned at that time we went on a field trip to the dairy.

Well, um, was I there?

Yeah, but you slept the whole time staring at the goat's nads.

This was a pretty cool field trip.

Yeah. It's like I really learned something.

Mr. Van Treason, is that you?

Are you okay?

Don't look, son.

He may be dead.

Climb a mountain.

Feel a mountain.

Be the mountain.

And they got that bell that they, like, taught us about in history class where

they, like, rang it and it put a big crack in it?

No, Beavis. You're thinking of Bible class when they talked about how God

created the butt.

Oh, yeah. And then he created poop. Yeah.

That's on that deuteronomy section.

The Bible kicks ass.

It's Dean and Gene Ween.

Ween. Ween kick fast.

Yeah. This is kind of groovy.

Freedom!

Yeah, this is kind of groovy.

How do they do that? How do they sing all high and stuff?

I think if you snip your nads off, it'll make you sing high like this. Really?

That's cool.

You should try it, Beavis.

No, I don't think so. Why not?

Have you ever used your nads for anything?

Not really. No, I guess not.

Don't your nads just, like, get in the way all the time and hurt when they get

kicked and stuff?

Yeah, I guess so.

Then why not just cut them off and see what happens?

Let me just wait a minute, because I might need them for doing it.

That's what your wiener's for. You don't need your nads for that.

Oh, yeah.

Are you trying to trick me, butthead?

No.

Do you use your nads for anything?

No.

Damn it, Beavis. See?

That's what nads are for.

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