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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,679 --> 00:00:11,160 Remember, sexual harassment can be defined as any sexual interaction, be it 2 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:15,840 verbal or physical, that makes its victims uncomfortable or makes it 3 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:17,020 for them to work. 4 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:22,340 Now, I don't want to mention any names, but it seems that some of you could use 5 00:00:22,340 --> 00:00:25,800 a little sensitivity training on this issue, okay? 6 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:29,460 Does everyone understand what I'm trying to say here? 7 00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:34,540 Beavis? Butthead? Uh, sort of. Because, like, right now... 8 00:00:34,810 --> 00:00:37,910 I'm being, you know, sexually harassed by Kimberly. 9 00:00:38,150 --> 00:00:39,450 What? Yeah, me too. 10 00:00:40,490 --> 00:00:45,590 She's giving me a stiffy. Yeah, and it makes it, like, uncomfortable for me to 11 00:00:45,590 --> 00:00:46,590 work and stuff. 12 00:00:47,550 --> 00:00:50,370 She usually harasses me at least once a day. 13 00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:53,980 Four or five times a day for me, sir. 14 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:57,060 Mr. Van Driessen, do I have to sit near these guys? 15 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:58,920 Oh, yeah, yeah. Love frightens, baby. 16 00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,400 Mr. Van Driessen, make them stop. 17 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,680 Guys, that's just the kind of thing I'm talking about. 18 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,200 See, right now, you two are harassing Kimberly. 19 00:01:08,580 --> 00:01:09,238 No way. 20 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:10,980 Sex can't get stiffies. 21 00:01:12,020 --> 00:01:14,060 Come on, guys. This is serious. 22 00:01:14,260 --> 00:01:19,020 In the real world, people go to court and sue for millions of dollars over 23 00:01:19,020 --> 00:01:20,020 kind of harassment. 24 00:01:21,070 --> 00:01:23,210 Whoa. Yeah, yeah. 25 00:01:23,510 --> 00:01:24,510 Millions of dollars? 26 00:01:25,590 --> 00:01:26,630 That's gonna be cool. 27 00:01:31,510 --> 00:01:32,510 Hey, 28 00:01:33,810 --> 00:01:36,110 that's that kid from that Losing My Religion video. 29 00:01:36,950 --> 00:01:39,090 Yeah, but I thought he got shot with an arrow or something. 30 00:01:39,730 --> 00:01:43,550 Yeah. To be there 31 00:01:43,550 --> 00:01:48,130 in velvet. 32 00:01:49,740 --> 00:01:51,440 Yeah, to give them a smile. 33 00:01:53,340 --> 00:01:54,800 It's good to get high. 34 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:56,880 It's good to get high? 35 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:59,740 What kind of message is that, son? 36 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:04,520 Hey, buddy, did you see that guy? He had, like, mirrors all over himself. 37 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:07,240 Yeah. 38 00:02:07,700 --> 00:02:11,039 That would be cool if you had mirrors all over your clothes like that. Because 39 00:02:11,039 --> 00:02:13,420 then, like, you could use them to see your own taint. 40 00:02:13,780 --> 00:02:14,780 That would be cool. 41 00:02:17,090 --> 00:02:20,810 I don't want to see my taint. That's stupid. 42 00:02:21,150 --> 00:02:22,970 You see, I'm always thinking. 43 00:02:30,730 --> 00:02:31,730 Whoa, 44 00:02:37,930 --> 00:02:39,250 check it out. Butt -headed Velvet Jones. 45 00:02:40,830 --> 00:02:41,709 Oh, yeah. 46 00:02:41,710 --> 00:02:42,710 He's cool. 47 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,790 Hi, I'm Veva Jones. 48 00:02:45,770 --> 00:02:46,770 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 49 00:02:47,270 --> 00:02:48,910 Hi, I'm Veva Jones. 50 00:02:49,110 --> 00:02:50,670 This is my book, How to Be a Ho. 51 00:02:53,570 --> 00:02:55,190 It's about time they put him in a video. 52 00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:01,650 He put it. How come Tom Petty is famous? 53 00:03:02,630 --> 00:03:04,470 Because he's on TV, dumbass. 54 00:03:04,830 --> 00:03:06,930 Yeah, but how did he get on TV? 55 00:03:08,140 --> 00:03:09,140 Because he's famous. 56 00:03:09,540 --> 00:03:10,359 Oh, man. 57 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:12,820 Yeah, but, I mean, like, how did he get famous? 58 00:03:13,380 --> 00:03:15,300 He got famous because he's on TV. 59 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,560 Yeah, yeah, but how did he get on TV? 60 00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:22,480 Because he's famous, Beavis. Now shut up before I smack the bejesus out of you. 61 00:03:23,860 --> 00:03:24,860 Oh, yeah. 62 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:30,300 And what would be the basis of this sexual harassment suit? 63 00:03:30,660 --> 00:03:36,780 Uh, she keeps harassing us by, you know, giving us stiffies. Yeah, yeah, like on 64 00:03:36,780 --> 00:03:39,870 me. Like, just yesterday, when she was writing something, I could, like, lean 65 00:03:39,870 --> 00:03:42,150 over and, like, I could check out part of her boobs. I see. 66 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:48,110 Uh, tell me, is the young lady in question, uh, well off financially by 67 00:03:48,690 --> 00:03:53,110 Uh, I don't know. She never talks to us because, like, she's one of those rich 68 00:03:53,110 --> 00:03:54,110 chicks. Yeah. 69 00:03:54,750 --> 00:04:00,360 Gentlemen. This is exactly the type of reverse sexual harassment case in which 70 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:05,080 the Constitution of the United States of America is being thrown right out the 71 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:06,960 window. Cool. Yeah, throw it out the window. 72 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,660 Boys, we are going to sue the girl. 73 00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:16,450 We are going to sue the teacher, we are going to sue the school system, and we 74 00:04:16,450 --> 00:04:18,190 are going to sue the girl's parents. 75 00:04:18,470 --> 00:04:20,070 Whoa, that rules. 76 00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:21,390 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 77 00:04:21,750 --> 00:04:26,730 And furthermore, we are going to put a restraining order on that girl, making 78 00:04:26,730 --> 00:04:29,630 illegal for her to come within 100 feet of you boys. 79 00:04:30,030 --> 00:04:31,630 Uh, that would suck. 80 00:04:32,070 --> 00:04:34,570 Yeah, I need her to be a little closer than that. 81 00:04:35,230 --> 00:04:38,490 So, uh, we're not going to have to, like, go to court, are we? 82 00:04:39,430 --> 00:04:40,430 Gentlemen. 83 00:04:40,540 --> 00:04:44,400 I believe we can win this case without even going to court. 84 00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:46,260 Order. Order. 85 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,000 Counselor Adler, you may begin your opening statement. 86 00:04:49,380 --> 00:04:54,200 Your Honor, I will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that my clients are the 87 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,420 victims of a cruel campaign of sexual harassment. 88 00:04:58,540 --> 00:05:03,340 Imagine yourself, a student in school, losing your one chance at a decent 89 00:05:03,340 --> 00:05:09,860 education because some young woman of questionable morals, some vile 90 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:14,320 repeatedly arouses you to the point where you... I didn't do it! I didn't do 91 00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:21,140 Of course you didn't. It's obvious that the guilty party here is that young lady 92 00:05:21,140 --> 00:05:23,200 right over there. Objection! 93 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:26,460 Overruled! Disdained. Watch it, counselor. 94 00:05:28,650 --> 00:05:34,490 Now, I know this is difficult, but tell me, if you can, about the pain that 95 00:05:34,490 --> 00:05:35,750 Kimberly has caused you. 96 00:05:36,270 --> 00:05:39,410 Uh, well, it's like, you know, she's a chick. 97 00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:43,450 And how would you describe this chick? 98 00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:46,150 A hot chick. 99 00:05:47,670 --> 00:05:50,070 Yes? Well, she's always like... 100 00:05:50,740 --> 00:05:55,000 harassing us by being so hot every day? Oh, yeah. And it's hard to concentrate 101 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:55,759 and stuff? 102 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:56,760 Hard. 103 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,000 She's doing it again. 104 00:06:01,260 --> 00:06:03,500 She's doing it right now. What is she doing? 105 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,700 She's giving me a stiffy. Giving you a what? 106 00:06:08,060 --> 00:06:09,060 You know. 107 00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:12,600 He has an erection. 108 00:06:12,860 --> 00:06:13,679 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 109 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:14,680 It's all her fault. 110 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:15,840 Order. 111 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:17,120 Order. 112 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:18,600 Shut up. 113 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,490 You. You and you, in my chambers, now. 114 00:06:25,770 --> 00:06:28,550 Whoa, they're cracking concrete. 115 00:06:30,030 --> 00:06:32,470 You said crack. 116 00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:39,030 Well, 117 00:06:40,470 --> 00:06:44,810 I guess I'll just do this for a while. 118 00:06:54,890 --> 00:06:57,370 Whoa! They're rolling around in a pool of feces! 119 00:06:58,530 --> 00:06:59,870 Oh, yeah. Cool. 120 00:07:04,110 --> 00:07:07,470 I think this video is like a tribute to turds. 121 00:07:08,370 --> 00:07:09,390 Yeah, it's about time. 122 00:07:10,310 --> 00:07:12,710 I've been meaning to do a tribute to my own turds. 123 00:07:13,530 --> 00:07:14,530 It's called... 124 00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:16,190 Poop, a retrospective. 125 00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:22,290 You know who I'd like to see roll around in a bunch of feces? 126 00:07:23,770 --> 00:07:25,110 Hootie and the Blowfish. 127 00:07:25,990 --> 00:07:26,969 Oh, yeah. 128 00:07:26,970 --> 00:07:28,110 Yeah, that would be cool. 129 00:07:29,090 --> 00:07:33,610 With a little love and a little tenderness. 130 00:07:34,870 --> 00:07:35,870 Yeah. 131 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,390 That would rule. 132 00:07:42,860 --> 00:07:45,260 And I think it would really go with the music really well, too. 133 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:54,560 Your Honor, my client's constitutional rights are being trampled by this closed 134 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:58,620 -door session. If we aren't returned to the courtroom immediately, we are going 135 00:07:58,620 --> 00:07:59,620 to sue you. 136 00:07:59,820 --> 00:08:03,620 We are going to sue the state. Mr. Adler, have you ever been jailed for 137 00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:04,620 of court? 138 00:08:04,740 --> 00:08:08,130 Uh... I believe that was among the charges, yes. 139 00:08:08,390 --> 00:08:12,110 Well, that was a picnic compared to what'll happen to you if you don't shut 140 00:08:12,110 --> 00:08:13,110 right now. 141 00:08:13,130 --> 00:08:19,410 As for you two, in all my years on the bench, I have never seen such a cynical, 142 00:08:19,550 --> 00:08:24,530 manipulative, and ultimately pathetic attempt to subvert the judicial system. 143 00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:30,550 Two sexist ignoramuses such as yourselves have no business tying up... 144 00:08:30,550 --> 00:08:31,550 a minute. 145 00:08:31,910 --> 00:08:34,130 Now you're harassing us. 146 00:08:43,119 --> 00:08:44,119 Yeah, yeah. 147 00:08:44,980 --> 00:08:45,980 Beaver cool. 148 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:47,760 Yeah. 149 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:49,720 Oh, 150 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,920 check it out. It's Jon Stewart. 151 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,400 Yeah. 152 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:57,300 He's horny. 153 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,800 He's the horniest talk show dude on TV. Yeah, but I'm like... 154 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:06,320 He shouldn't try to be in a band like this. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's okay, 155 00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:08,800 but, you know, it's like, you know, nothing special, you know. Like, he 156 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,040 just do his show, you know. Yeah, but you know what he should do? 157 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:14,980 He should just, like, get rid of all that other stuff on his show and just 158 00:09:14,980 --> 00:09:17,880 the whole show be like, you know, him trying to pick up on a chick. 159 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,640 Yeah, yeah, it's like they bring out a girl with big hooters. 160 00:09:23,140 --> 00:09:24,540 Maybe like this one right here. 161 00:09:24,910 --> 00:09:28,570 And then, um, he just sits there and tries to score. Now, that would be cool. 162 00:09:28,830 --> 00:09:29,830 Yeah. 163 00:09:30,390 --> 00:09:31,530 That would rule. 164 00:09:35,370 --> 00:09:38,010 Damn it. I wish they'd show those bees again. 165 00:09:38,270 --> 00:09:39,330 Bees kick ass. 166 00:09:39,650 --> 00:09:40,650 Yeah. 167 00:09:42,170 --> 00:09:43,170 Bees rule. 168 00:09:46,650 --> 00:09:48,850 Yeah, I'd like to see a little more fat, too. Yeah. 169 00:09:50,450 --> 00:09:53,730 That's the best part, you know. It's like whenever I'm eating some meat, I 170 00:09:53,730 --> 00:09:55,780 like... Eat all the fat and just leave the rest. 171 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:57,360 Yeah. 172 00:09:58,020 --> 00:10:00,300 I like to make a fat sandwich sometimes. 173 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,520 Oh, yeah, a little mayonnaise, a little salt. 174 00:10:03,940 --> 00:10:04,940 Roll. 175 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:09,640 Cool. 176 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:13,920 Look what she's doing. 177 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,620 I do that sometimes, too. It, like, helps me fall asleep. 178 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,540 You mean because it, like, tires you out or something? 179 00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:23,580 No, not really, no. It's like... 180 00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,630 I just spin around until I get really dizzy. 181 00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:28,190 Then I like to fall down and bang my head on something. 182 00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,510 I just go to sleep. 183 00:10:29,970 --> 00:10:30,990 Works every time. 184 00:10:32,710 --> 00:10:34,690 You're pretty cool sometimes, Beavis. 185 00:10:36,790 --> 00:10:37,790 I know. 13524