Original subtitles

And finally, we promise to reach out to negative teens and lead by example.

Amen. Now don't say amen in school, son.

Sorry, Dad.

Kids, we've had a real terrific year. We cleared 15 pounds of broken bottles

from the student parking lot. We sang carols for senior citizens. That old man

hit me in the throat with his cane.

He was old and confused, Ryan.

And we gathered 12 cans of food for the poor.

I'd say that deserves a big PAT cheer. How about it? Yay!

But there's one group who needs positivity more than anyone, your fellow

So today, I want us to go over to detention and help some kids in need of

Yay!

Greetings, Coach.

The positive acting teens and I were wondering if you'd let us take these

off your hands for a little positive rehabilitation.

Hands.

Rehabilitation?

Beavis and Butthead, do you wish to be rehabilitated?

No.

Well, that's too bad then, because I order you to follow Mr.

Graham and his so -called positive acting teens.

The hell out of here!

Now! Yay!

Uh, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt.

Uh,

I think this is gonna be stupid.

What the hell is this butt munch?

Okay, you guys, let's do one more.

Why is this dork here?

Behind the scenes at a crappy band recording session.

Yeah.

That guy's poodle hair.

These guys probably, like, went to Supercuts and said, could you just,

make it more poofy? Yeah, yeah, but keep the length. I want it, like, poofy on

top and then long and straight on the side. That would look really cool.

So, like, did you ask the barber to make your hair poofy, too?

Shut up, butt -head.

My hair's like this naturally.

How come I'm cold?

No wonder you're such a wuss.

Shut up, butt -head.

Chicks like it.

That guy looks like a cheerleader.

All those years of hard work and practice in the garage finally pay off

see the looks on those people's faces out in the audience.

These dudes are like, look at me, I'm kicking.

Yeah, look at me.

I'm twirling my guitar around and wiggling my butt, see?

Just like we practiced.

Yeah, look at me.

I'm shaking my hips and kicking just like we did at practice.

Oh, man.

Boy, I'm glad that's over.

Yeah.

Check it out, though. They're not stopping.

So what do you think? You think we got a hit with this one?

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

boy.

Boy, that was funny.

Uh -oh.

Oh, they went to Bon Jovi.

But what if you could go into the future and either give Geordi his

normal sight back or make Data a real human being?

Which would you do?

Wood.

Sponer.

I'd fix Geordi's eyes, because Data's just an android, and so he won't

miss not being a human. But Geordi knows what it's like to see, so he misses it

the most. No way!

I'd make Data a human being, because Geordi sees better without real eyes

anyways. Yeah, but that's besides the point. No, it's not!

You're such a dummy, Mac. You're the dummy. Shut up!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, fight!

Yeah,

kick his ass. Dad!

Hey, guys.

Cool it, okay?

That's my dad. But don't worry, he's cool. Really?

It doesn't look cool.

So, Beavis and Butthead, you boys ready to do something positive?

Uh, no.

No, thanks.

Well, we understand, don't we, kids?

It's real hard to get jazzed up about positivity until you've tried it. But

being a positive acting teen is all about new experiences, open -mindedness,

change. Um, change sucks.

So now we're going to change a littered stretch of highway to a clean stretch of

highway. Yay!

Come on, guys. High five.

Michael rode the boat ashore.

Hallelujah.

Michael rode the boat ashore.

Hallelujah.

Sister helped to trim the sail.

Hallelujah. Hey, buddy, check it out, a hubcap.

We're out here, baby.

Dad!

Dad! What happened?

Oh my gosh, Dad!

Whoa.

Is he dead?

You killed him!

It was the truck's fault!

You guys, like, go be positive and stuff.

Me and Beavis are going to go notify the next of kin.

I am the next of kin. He's my dad, remember?

Oh, yeah.

Uh, your dad's dead.

It wasn't our fault. It was the truck's fault.

Dad! So, uh, I guess he won't mind if we go now.

Dad! Come on, Beavis.

What a crybaby.

I guess I'm going to read a magazine here.

Uh, you don't know how to read, Beavis?

Yeah, I do. I can sort of read.

And, um, besides, there's, like, lots of pictures of cleavage in the back of

this magazine.

You mind if I, um, if I just read this magazine for a while?

Uh, I don't give a rat's ass what you do, Beavis.

Okay.

Oh, boy.

Yeah.

This magazine's pretty cool, yeah.

Whoa, check it out.

Wow.

Whoa.

That's something else.

I'm not going to ask you what you're looking at, Viva, but quit trying.

I'll be damned.

Whoa, check it out.

Isn't that dude from Love Boat?

Look, he looks all old.

He's like, like he has a dog.

And I think that's a fun.

That's great.

What is this we're watching, butthead? Uh, nothing.

Do you have any other magazines?

Uh, no. Just this one.

Uh, can I read it when you're done?

Um, no.

No, you can't.

This is mine. It's for me.

It's for me to read.

Leave us.

While this guy was working construction, he had, like, this big pole, like...

shoved through his butt and came out the other end, and it's like, um, he's

still alive.

And he has a gigantic bunghole now.

Where'd you get that, Beavis?

I got it in the dentist's office.

They're, like, just there. They're free. You can just take them.

Boy, this is boring.

Where is that dentist's office, Beavis?

You know where it is? It's over there by Maxi Mart. Oh, yeah.

I'm gonna go get a magazine.

Okay. All right. See you later.

For today's positive activity, you're going to wash my wagon here.

Um, that's not what my dad said we were going to do. Your dad's not here, boy.

And for the tenth time, if you don't shut up, I'm going to positively kill

Are you sure?

Uh, I'm positive.

Well, you just better start to remember, Mr. Buzzcut says I can keep you in

detention for as long as it takes.

Beavis, you hellspawn! Do you know where my credit cards are?

No, sir.

Positively not.

Positive.

I don't really feel like staring at this guy's face, butthead. Can you change

the channel?

You'll probably just have to stare at some other face.

Oh, yeah.

Whoa, check it out.

They got some of that Keo -Tep -Kate up there. Up above the guy's hand.

Uh... Oh, yeah, that is Keo -Tep -Kate.

You know, um... That stuff, like, um... You know, like, tastes really bad.

And, um, it's expensive.

But then, like, it doesn't really work.

Really?

It's supposed to be for diarrhea.

So I took it for, like, a whole week, and I never got diarrhea.

And then about four days later, this drink pooped out of my butt.

Cool. Yeah, well, it's pretty cool.

It was, like, really big, and it was, like...

I can show it to you if you want.

You still have it?

Oh, yeah, I still have it.

It's in my underwear drawer.

Beaver.

I'm going to pretend I didn't hear any of this.

Why?

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