Original subtitles

Have you suffered a painful and disabling injury that was not your

you about to be injured? Would you like to be injured? Have you ever considered

a possible injury? You could have been injured and not even know about it.

Howdy. I'm Attorney -at -Law Joe Adler. I specialize in Class A whiplash -style

injuries. Our pledge to you is, if you need cash, dial 555 -WHIPLASH.

Whoa.

Money just for getting hurt?

That's cool.

Yeah.

Uh, Beavis?

You're about to be injured.

Ah, yeah. I like to mellow out to this song.

Yeah.

Let's get a little mellow.

Sometimes if I have a boner that won't go down, I listen to this kind of music.

Hey, that looks like that dude.

He was on TV and then they made a cartoon out of him.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

He's got that shirt and then his hair is like all in a point on the top of his

head. Yeah, yeah, what's his name?

Yeah, what is his name?

Oh, damn it.

One second, he's on me.

Yeah, he's like always going, I must say.

Uh, yeah, and then he's like always saying he's going to be on Wheel of

and he's like all into Pat Sajak.

Uh, Wiggly, Megley.

No, no, damn it.

What's his name? Damn it.

This guy looks just like him.

Damn it.

Forgetting everything.

I can't remember anything anymore.

Hey, but it, um, try smacking me. Just once.

Uh. Sure.

Ow!

Ed Grimley!

Uh... Oh, yeah, that's the dude.

I ought to hit you more often, Beaver.

You hit me?

Yeah.

Buttonhole!

Don't ever hit me again!

This is cool.

I hardly ever take the bus to school.

You hardly ever go to school, dill hole.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I think you're right.

It's like, if we had a car, we wouldn't have to take the bus, but it's like,

you're taking the bus so that we can, like, have an accident with a car and,

like, wait a minute, so we can have some money, uh, so, uh, uh... Uh, what?

Come on, butthead, come on.

Uh, I forgot.

Now remember, B, just sit there and don't do anything.

I'll take care of the rest.

Okay.

This is going to be cool.

Hey, how we doing?

Oh, um, hey, do you ever like to take the bus to school?

What do you think I'm doing right now?

Oh, yeah.

I get it.

Yeah, me too.

Yeah, cool.

We're going to be red.

Can I borrow a pencil?

Do you even know how to write?

Look, if I give this to you, will you leave me alone?

damn bus hey

y 'all settle down back there

He has, like, that whipped lash thing, and, like, it really hurts.

Yeah, and I'm having bad dreams, and I poop a lot.

Interesting story.

Let me just take a look here.

Well,

I can see that you have a traumatic injury, son.

But it sure doesn't look like whiplash to me. It is whiplash. Come on, tell

butthead. I was like, ah, my leg. I mean, ah, my neck.

I heard something break, too.

Just like on that commercial.

What we have here is a clear case of negligence.

We are going to sue the school system.

We are going to sue the city.

We are going to sue the state.

And we are going to sue the bus driver.

Now, what you boys need.

are some top quality x -rays.

Cool.

Here you go, son.

Now it's starting to look like we got ourselves a case of whiplash.

So, uh, can we have some money now?

Joe Adler, you're under arrest for 257 counts of fraud.

Cool. Yeah.

Whoa,

I think this is my grandpa.

No, this is that dude that was in that movie.

He married his cousin, and then they did it.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I think that movie was called Great Balls of...

fire did you know when you get it

on with your cousin it means she's your cousin uh like once removed well really

you know my grandpa told me once that like because he did it with his cousin

that means that my grandma is my cousin and my mom is my great aunt

Yeah, and she's also a great slut.

Oh, yeah, and also,

I think my grandma is a nitwit.

It's like, I didn't know you could, like, rock on the piano.

Yeah. Like, all you need to do is, like, you know, kick the piano and do it with

your cousin, and you'll be cool forever.

Or maybe you could, like, do it with the piano and kick your cousin.

Viva?

Now tell me, boys, how did you get mixed up

with this con man?

Uh, he was gonna give us some money. Don't mess with me, boy. I could send

away right now for obstruction of justice.

Uh, okay.

And what about you, Mary?

My name is Beavis, sir.

Well, you see, it's like this. I was on this bus, and this girl was checking me

out, you know, looking at my nads. And the bus driver was, like, drunk or

something. You lying little punk.

You're lucky that girl wasn't hurt. She's ready to testify.

I think you two planned that bus accident.

Does this mean we aren't going to get the money? Shut up! Did Miss Radler tell

you to stop that bus?

Uh, no.

We thought of it ourselves.

Hey, hey, shut up!

Dammit, I'm talking to you, not you. I'm talking to this guy right here. Look me

in the eye, boy, and tell me the truth.

Yeah, um, I didn't really know what was going on. It was like, buddy just told

me to sit there and he said he'd take care of the rest.

Dammit, Beavis, tell the truth.

I am telling the truth. You did know what was going on, didn't you?

No, I didn't. Just admit it. I bet you don't even have whiplash, do you?

On my neck.

Whiplash is cool.

Whoa!

This looks like it might rock.

Yeah, maybe.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't know. Maybe it's all right, you know. I guess it sounds kind

cool.

You know what might make it different?

It's like, you know, if you were really dizzy when you're watching it.

Yeah, yeah. If you're all, like, dizzy in the head and you're watching this.

Yeah.

Want me to strike you?

No, I know how to make myself dizzy. Check it out.

I learned that one time. Check this out.

I think there's a problem with this video. It is highly derivative of many

popular bands within the genre.

Although when viewed on its own merits, it does have a decent groove.

However, what it has in groove, it lacks in originality. One can't help but be

reminded of such bands as Pearl Jam, White Zombie, Suicidal Tennessee, and

bands that bear the mantle of so -called alternative rock. One is even reminded

of Laurie Anderson when she wore a curler.

This video speaks less to the heart and more to the sphincter. In clothing, I

think Korn would do well to learn more from...

What happened?

You got all dizzy and then you started talking like a dumbass.

Oh, really?

Wow.

Yeah.

But then you did say sphincter.

Oh, yeah.

It's pronounced sphincter.

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