Original subtitles

I've tried detention, suspension,

community service, intimidation. Nothing keeps you two out of trouble.

Do you want to be expelled outright?

Kicked out of school for good?

Condemned to a life of stupidity?

Robbed of any hope to better yourselves?

Okay.

Yeah, me too.

When do we start?

Get spelling in here.

I've tried every form of discipline I know. It's time for something drastic.

They're all yours.

So, you're going to be attending my sensitivity encounter group.

Well, I'm thrilled.

We'll have you in touch with your feelings in no time.

Oh, cool, cool.

I haven't seen this video in a while. This video kicks ass, buddy.

Oh, yeah.

This is that one where they're all huge, and they're like walking around kicking

buildings and stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, this rule.

They're like giants.

Yeah.

Uh, it's like foe, fee, fum.

I smell the blood of an English dude.

Be he live or dead, I will grind his bone to make my bread.

Grind his bone.

Giant beanstalk rule.

Yeah.

That would be cool if there were really giants like this.

And they were like going around smashing things.

Yeah, but it would kind of suck if you were like a little dude.

And, like, the giants came by and just, like, squashed you, and it was, like, no

big deal.

Uh, yeah.

That would hurt. I mean, it's like, you know, the little ants and stuff that I'm

always stepping on. I mean, like, what if they have, like, special feelings?

And, like, what if they have, like, you know, like, friends and, like, families?

Ow!

Feelings. Oh, yeah.

You know, it's kind of like that jack -in -the -bean -stock thing, you know,

with that big giant... You already said that, Beavis.

Really?

I don't remember. When did that happen? Beavis, it was like a few seconds ago.

Remember? When I was doing that C -5 -4 -thumb thing?

No. I don't remember that. Yes, you do, Beavis. And then, remember, you started

talking about, like, ants and stuff?

No.

What happened after that?

Uh, this happened.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I remember now.

Each of you is here with a longing to share your feelings, to access your

vulnerability.

Michael, why don't you start us off?

I don't know what to say.

Michael, share something.

Share what you're feeling now.

I guess I'm really just feeling nervous.

Good. Go with that.

I guess I'm nervous that you'll all think I'm a big jerk.

That, like, as soon as someone really sees me, they'll know how stupid I am.

Okay, let's stop right there. Let's have a reality check.

Does anyone think Michael's a jerk for what he just shared?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, me too.

Jerk. Oh, God. Now, hang on.

Butthead, perhaps you see a part of yourself in Michael.

Yeah. My butt.

And Beavis, is that what you feel?

Beavis feels himself.

Shut up, butthead.

I'll kick your ass.

Anger. Good. Go with that.

Go ahead. Let it flow.

Beavis, tell butthead how angry you are.

I'm like angry and stuff.

Butthead, express your feelings now.

Tell you what.

Pretend that pillow is butthead. Really let your anger flow.

You see, anger is often the first doorway into our feelings.

We pass through it to a deeper inner self. I'll kill you! I'll kill you! Die!

Die! Die! You son of a bitch! Go down, Beavis.

Die! Die!

Very good. Very good, Beavis. Hey.

Hey, hey.

Hey, hey, don't touch me, asswipe. I think we need a quiet moment now.

Deep inside us is all the wisdom we could ever need.

All we have to do is open to it.

Be still, and don't be afraid to set personal goals.

You are lovable.

Love yourself.

Honor what you know. You are wise beyond words.

You will get that chick across from you.

You will see her thingies.

It's going to be cool.

Now think about this.

We are all mirrors for each other, but seldom do we reflect back the truth.

Now look at the person across from you and tell them what you really feel

inside.

I think you're bright, you have a lot of energy, but I feel you hold yourself

back, behind walls.

Uh, I think you suck.

And, uh...

Let's see.

You look really old.

I'm serious. You should look at yourself.

You should do something about that.

Well, it's been a long day, and hopefully you've all gained new access

feelings. Beavis and Butthead, you've made the most progress of all.

You suck.

You're a dirty...

Butthole. Yeah.

I'm like really pissed off at you.

Well, often the first feelings are anger. But soon others will follow, and

you'll be flowing from the well within.

Now, go out into the world and radiate the truth of who you are.

Whoa,

cool. That's just like that face you're about to tell me about, butthead.

What spaceship?

You know that one that landed right outside my window? And then, like, these

dudes came in the house and, like, hypnotized me? And then, like, took me

space and stuff?

See, check out these marks on my legs. This is where they tried to experiment

me. Beaver, that's where you got a gravel burn trying to look cool on your

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right.

And you looked like a dork.

Yeah,

I wasn't too good yet.

Whoa. Check it out, buddy. They're going to put him in the oven.

Yeah.

They're putting him in the oven because no one likes him anymore.

I still kind of like him, but, you know, I think it's cool that they're going to

put him in the oven. You know.

Yeah.

Who are these little guys?

I think these are like the Feminefrius.

Mad clobule butt noise?

Oh, yeah. The seminiferous butt cloy from outer space.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what they are. They're going to climb inside his mouth

walk down to his wiener. Yeah, yeah. This is going to be cool.

You know, if those seminiferous mad globule butt noise had to walk down my

and, like, all the way down to my wiener, that would be a long walk. You

what I'm saying? You know. Yeah.

And then they'd probably get lost and come out your bunghole. Yeah.

And then I could poop them out.

Poop!

Remember that time your mom's cat ate all that string?

And then for like a week, she had like poop on her rope?

I mean, that was cool.

It was like sausage, right?

And that's rope.

Beavis and Butthead, what have you done now?

We just came by to express our feelings.

Yeah, we're going to let it flow.

Well,

that sounds like a step in the right direction.

Yeah, I'm going to take a step over in this direction if you don't mind.

Feelings are cool.

Yeah.

I have a feeling I'm about to take a leak on this plant.

Oh, yeah, I feel the same way.

In fact, I might even take a dump.

What? Hey, stop!

What are you doing?

I'll kill you, you little bastard!

Oh, no!

Get out of the pool!

It wasn't long till I threw up.

Because I know I'm not inside.

I'm tired.

Hey, buddy, you know who these guys are?

Uh, no, and I don't care either.

This is Faith No More.

Yeah, right.

Faith No More.

No, no, I'm serious, buddy. See,

they have a new sound.

And a new look.

They just look and sound like everything else.

I don't know. It kind of rocks. Shut up, Viva. I want to lay down.

Move over. No way.

No, wait. I want to sit right here and watch this.

Come on, Beavis. Get up. No, wait, butthead.

I always sit here. Beavis, I'm going to give you ten seconds to get up.

I've been sitting here for years, and you've been sitting there, and it's

why change now?

Come on, Beavis.

Befied, you always sit too close to me. No, wait.

If I move over anymore, then there's a spring that goes up my bunghole.

Hey, Leva.

My uncle was over here, and he, like, left a six -foot poop in the toilet, and

he didn't flush.

Really?

You should check it out. Is it still there?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm going to go have a look.

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