Original subtitles

Quit jumping on my bells, you punks, or I'll give you something to jump about.

Did he just say quit jumping on my balls?

Yeah. Quit jumping on my balls.

Here. I'll let you break this bottle out back if you just quit bothering my

customers. Cool.

Whoa.

Check it out.

That's the biggest tire I ever saw.

Yeah.

It's just like the ones at the playground, only it isn't bolted down.

You know what that means.

I know.

It means it's ours.

Cool.

Yeah, yeah, really.

Yeah, America's number one, damn it. Yeah, really.

Yeah, yeah, America rules. And don't forget it.

This guy kicked ass.

Yeah, really. America rules.

I'm freaking tired of all these people saying all this bad stuff. Yeah.

Whoa, check out that tornado.

Uh, that's not a tornado. That's that Tasmanian devil, dude. Oh, yeah. He

that.

Did you ever see that time he beat Fudd's bunny up by the head with a

Uh, yeah.

I like the one where they grab Elmer Fudd by the head and pull him through a

knot hole in a fence and then beat him in the head over and over again with a

shovel. Oh, yeah.

That's kind of harsh, butthead.

Yeah.

Cartoons are cool.

Oh, cool.

Look at all that grass flying everywhere.

Yeah.

We could have a party like that and just, like, go outside and get some

and just, like, throw it all over the house and, like, run around.

And that would kick ass.

Yeah,

but we'd, like, have to get some chicks to come over first.

Well, I was thinking, like, you know, just you and me could do it, you know?

No, I mean, you know, chicks would be nice, but, you know.

You can't get any chicks, you know.

Why stop?

Oh, hang on.

There's a tornado in the audience.

Beavis, you already said that.

No, I didn't.

Yes, you did. Remember? And then I told you it was the Tasmanian devil.

I don't remember that.

When did this happen?

It happened just now, Beavis.

Bunghole. Maybe I hurt my head or something.

I'm getting a little ticked off. Go to hell.

This tire's heavy.

Really?

This is hard work.

Let's take a break.

I can't.

I'm holding the tire button.

Oh, yeah.

Good job.

Maybe we should, like, take turns or something.

Good idea.

I'll go first.

That's not really what I meant, but... Beavis, the longer you stand around

talking, the harder it's going to be to push me to the top.

You'll get your turn on the way back down.

Oh, yeah.

Cool.

That would have been a cool buzz if you weren't so slow.

Woofy.

Whoa, check this out.

This town looks small.

It's like you can see all the little houses. Check it out, but hey, this is

pretty cool.

Shut up and get in the tire, dumbass.

Your jeans.

Oh, it's beautiful, David.

Now, the thing to remember about nature photography is that... David?

David!

David!

He's playing a toy.

Oh, check out that chick's panties.

Damn it, Beavis.

Don't talk to me when a chick's panties are on TV.

It's like you mess up my mind and I can't, like, see the panties right.

Oh, yeah, sorry.

I think this is Blue's traveler.

No, it's not. Where's that big fat dude?

I think that's him, Beavis. I think he just, like... Lost a lot of weight.

Damn it, that pisses me off. Everybody keeps getting skinny.

Yeah. He looked better when he was a big, fat slob bouncing around on the

going... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

His, like, stomach was hanging over his pants going... Check it out, Ziva.

I'm fingering my lips.

Big, fat dude.

Remember that cartoon that had that big fat dude in it and he used to go, hey,

hey, hey.

Oh, yeah. And then he had that friend with his eyes cut out of his hat and

like go, hey, baby, let's go.

Yeah.

See, they used to have cool cartoons.

Cartoons now just fuck.

Yeah.

I don't think Dorothy was this hot in the movie.

Chicks were all, like, ugly and old in time.

They looked, like, really messed up. Oh, yeah.

I guess that's why old dudes are, like, all cranky and stuff. They're like, back

in my day, you'd hardly ever get wood watching TV.

Yeah.

Come on, it's my turn.

I don't know, but it made me kind of dizzy.

Well, then you don't have to ride it anymore, woofy. Just push me.

Whoa,

it's Todd.

Would you like to go for a ride in our tire, sir?

You preschoolers are dead, man.

You made me spill beer all over my pants.

We're sorry, sir.

Uh, want me to kick Beavis' ass for you?

That won't be necessary, man.

Yeah.

Teach him a lesson.

Watch where you're going all the time, Beavis.

What?

Now it's my turn.

Yep, there's some water.

I'm getting sick and tired of these Mardaff videos where there's, like, you

know, college dudes, and they're, like, in the water, and they're, like, you

know, being all Mardaff.

Yeah, yeah, really.

Uh, maybe we should turn the TV off.

Okay, yeah.

Yeah, turn it off, okay?

So, um, how's it going?

Uh, pretty good.

So, um, so what'd you do today?

Uh, I've been sitting here all day, Beavis.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

So, um, you been getting any?

Uh,

no.

So,

um, what's on TV?

Uh, I don't know, let's see.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good idea.

Oh, cool, a video.

Ah, that's all right.

I'm talking about the beavers and the butthead coming right back.

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