Original subtitles

Hey, butthead, where are we?

I think we're lost.

Cool. Maybe we'll be on the news.

Oh, yeah.

That would rule.

Whoa. Do you hear that?

What is it?

Beavis, butthead.

What a happy coincidence. We were just rapping about the need to recruit new

members for our men's group. Would you like to join us?

Uh, no.

Yeah, really.

I'm not going to join any men's group unless I've got, like, chicks in it and

stuff. Come on, guys. It's a really super way to express your masculinity in

nurturing all -male environment.

With no women around, we're free to be ourselves without fear of seeming sexist

or offensive.

And we let off some steam to avoid channeling our male anger towards women

greed, destructiveness, or other male problem areas.

And that's important, especially today, as we men wrestle with our manhood.

Beaver thruffles with his manhood.

Yeah. I usually win.

That's okay, because we all must fight our own demons.

That's why these monthly drum -banging sessions are so... You get to bang a

drum? Sure.

Cool.

Hi,

I'm Gary.

How's it going?

Hi, I'm Pete. Hi, Phil.

Nice to meet you.

Hi, I'm Beavis.

These houses look fake, butthead.

Of course they do. That's like the whole point of college music, to, like, make

the suburbs look bad.

Did you hear that, butthead? She said hairy bohemoth.

Yeah.

What does that mean?

You don't know.

I think it may be, um, it had something to do with stool.

Damn it, leave it. Shut up.

There's these two chicks that kiss in this video, and I don't want you talking

about duels. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

We had a drink, we had a smoke.

He took off her overcoat.

I kissed a girl. Ah!

Butthead! She said you just kissed a girl! Dammit, Beaver. I know.

That's what I was trying to tell you when you were talking about duels. Wow.

Look at that. Oh!

Maybe they'll show it.

That's gonna be cool.

Whoa. It's Harry Bohemoth.

Boy, this is turning out to be pretty good.

You know, when I see two girls kissing, it kind of gives me a special feeling.

Yeah, yeah.

Me too.

Kind of makes me want to make a stool.

Dammit, Beavis, you are messed up.

Well, she said it again. She said she kept the girl again. You have to do a

more than that if you want to be a lesbian.

I like this part in here after she says she kept the girl, where it goes...

If there were two chicks right here making out, you'd probably just go...

Talk about stools and stuff.

Yeah, just sit back, watch a couple chicks make out, and talk about stools.

This sucks.

Actually, it can be quite therapeutic, butthead. Here, why don't you take out

some of that aggression on the drum?

And let loose with your innermost thoughts.

This sucks.

This sucks.

Bunch of dumbass wussies hitting a stupid drum.

Um, good, butthead. You tapped into some genuine emotions there, and I think we

can all relate to what you're saying.

Uh, you can?

Sure we can.

It really doesn't suck that you had the courage to say, this sucks.

We're hearing you loud and clear, brother.

That sucks.

Okay. Now it's your turn, Beavis. Really try to get in touch with your inner

male. No way.

Not with a bunch of dudes watching.

Don't be shy.

Just hit the drum and say what's on your mind.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

Whoa. That's pretty cool.

Okay, Beavis. Now let that wild man within put his feelings into words.

We're with you, brother.

It's like, I want to check out chicks' singing. I want to see their singing,

they won't let me. And that just makes me want to check them out even more. We

feel your male pain. I feel like I'm never going to score.

Chicks don't want to talk to me. It's like... I want to go up and say, hey,

baby, how's it going?

And then they just, like, they just go away.

And then they slap me.

I can identify with that, I guess.

And sometimes I just want to get a big bulldozer. And I just want to, like, I

just want to, like, bulldoze the wall to the girl's locker room. That way I can

see their boob.

That would be cool.

It's like I know they're naked inside there. And I just can't stand it.

I think someone's inner warrior needs to go back to basic training.

Maybe you need professional help, David.

Somebody take that damn drum away from him. What the hell are you teaching

kids of yours anyway?

You know, the guys at the gym were right. You are a panty waste.

And you said this was a way to recapture the spirit of Woodstock?

Woodstock my ass!

Wait a minute, guys. That kind of old -fashioned male aggressiveness is never

the solution.

Yeah.

Fuck.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, it's another one of these.

They need to try harder.

Yeah, yeah, it's like they're not even trying.

Come on, hey, come on. I want you to start over again, and this time try.

Come on, let's go. Pick it up. Come on. Come on. Here we go. Come on. One, two,

three, four. Yeah. Come on. Come on. Rock.

This is just horrible.

They're going to be horrible at least like, you know, kick ass. You know, like

Jesus Lizard.

I mean, they fuck, but they kick ass.

I think these guys are just lazy.

They're too lazy to rock, and they're too lazy to clean the tub.

These guys are so lazy, they probably take a dump in the tub.

I do that sometimes.

You poop in the tub?

Yeah. And then sometimes...

I just pee all over the whole bathroom.

You're disgusting, Beavis.

But, Head, where's Beavis?

Uh, I don't know.

I get the crane with the wrecking ball, and the bulldozer, all those really nice

shovels, and an ice pick, and a backhoe and a forklift, and a front -end loader

and a combine, and a getaway car, and some rubber.

Only then will I score.

And that's about it. Oh yeah, and some boobs.

Your turn, Butthead.

Butthead?

Butthead!

It's your turn! Come on!

Uh -oh.

That sounds like wipeout. I think that's a

butt wipeout. You know?

Instead of wipeout.

Butt wipeout. Butt wipeout.

Check it out. They do this really cool dance coming up here.

Oh, really cool.

Is that it?

No, that's just hockey.

I think they're singing about a car.

Yeah, yeah, see, now that's pretty cool.

If I had a really cool car, I'd sing about it too.

Like maybe, my car is really fast, it kicks a lot of ass.

It runs on gas.

I drive it on the grass.

There it is, see?

Isn't that cool?

What's cool about it? Me.

It's like they're all doing it together.

That's cool.

You think it's cool when dudes dance together, Butt -Heads?

Yeah.

Damn it, Viva. Just shut up.

Hey, Butt -Heads.

Would you like to dance?

Oh, man.

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