Original subtitles

Boy,

some of our customers have been complaining about our French fries.

Holy cow, what are these brown chunks in here?

Um, hmm, I think those are caterpillars, sir.

Caterpillars are green, dumbass. Oh, yeah.

Hey,

that's that grasshopper.

Grasshopper? Yeah.

He won't be bothering the customers anymore, sir.

Yeah. We caught him taking a dump on one of the tables.

What in the hell is this? Oh, yeah.

Remember when I had that band -aid on for, like, two weeks? And then you,

pulled it off, and it went... Cool.

I want the oil changed in this fryer, and I want it changed before you leave

today.

Fryer! Fryer!

Fryer!

I think

this dude is checking you out, Beaver. Oh, he's not?

Liar. Yeah, he is.

He's like...

I like what I see.

I'll be right over. Shut up, butthead.

He can't see me because he's just looking at the camera. Remember

that time that dude was saying that stuff to you

at the bus station?

Shut up, butthead.

He said, I like what I see.

Now why don't you go into one of those stalls and I'll meet you there. Shut up,

butthead. At least I got a candy bar out of the deal.

Yeah.

Who the hell is this butt munch?

Hey, what's going on here?

What's with all these faces he's making?

Yeah. He's like trying to be scary and all heavy and intense and stuff.

Who's this other guy that keeps like trying to get in front of him?

I think he's just some jackass that wandered on the set.

Maybe he's like the drummer and like...

They got there and they said, where are your drums?

And he was like, uh, I thought they were in the van. And they're like, you mean

you didn't bring your drums?

Yeah.

And I said, okay, it's your own fault. You're going to have to wander around

like a butt munch for the whole video.

And he said, okay, that's okay with me.

I can do that.

What a jack butt munch ass.

Dumb butt.

Look at that little braid thing on the back of his head. Yeah, it's like one of

those dolls where you pull the string and they, like, talk and stuff.

That would be a cool doll.

If you had, like, this little bald dude without a shirt and you, like, pull a

string on the back of his head and he just starts shouting at you.

And then it could wet his pants.

Fuck. How come that manager guy always makes us do work?

Yeah. That oil was just getting cool, too.

There it is, dude.

Uh, we need to change the oil.

Yeah, if you could just change it while we wait, that'd be fine.

Okay. Pull your car in.

Uh, car?

Yeah. What do we need a car for?

Well, how the hell am I supposed to change the oil if you don't have a car?

Well, I get it.

You're do -it -yourselfers.

Uh, Davis is a do -it -yourselfer.

You guys work at Burger World, huh?

I once applied for a job there.

How'd you guys get in there?

What's this crap?

Alright, I'm gonna give you a quick how -to.

I guess if you're gonna get in at Burger World, it's not what you know, it's who

you know, huh?

Uh, yeah, right.

Yeah, me and Butthead know each other.

Okay, first you open your drain to let out the old stuff.

Make sure you dispose of it properly.

That stuff is toxic.

Cool.

When you're done, remember to check it with your dipstick.

Okay, lesson's over, no charge.

But it's 15 bucks for the oil.

Uh, no.

I ain't gonna give you any money.

No cash, huh?

You guys work at Burger World. I guess you're good for it. Here, I'll set up an

account. You can just sign for it. Oh, uh...

In that case, we want some candy bars, too. Yeah.

And some naked lady air fresheners.

Roll.

I can't find any drain.

Oh, wait a minute.

This work sucks.

And that mechanical dude was a big dumbass. Yeah.

Hey, let's just scoop it out.

Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

Hey, leave it. Check it out. Ow!

Improved performance.

Yeah. No thermal breakdown.

Yeah.

Remember to check it with your dipstick. No way!

I think it's ready.

Hey, where's everybody going?

Uh,

I don't think we should go back in there, dude.

Yeah, remember?

He said we couldn't go home till we changed the oil.

Oh, yeah.

Cool.

Let's get out of here.

Uh...

Hey, Beaver.

Do something like, I don't know, like something funny or something.

Um, okay.

Um, let me see.

Check this out.

Uh,

that was pretty cool, but like, you've done that before.

Shut up, Wyatt.

Then you do something.

You think I'm just here to entertain you?

Settle down, Bina. You think I'm just here for your amusement?

You want to do something about it?

Dumbass.

Hey,

look at that.

That looks good.

I like those things. They got those things over at the mall.

They call them, um, heroes.

Oh, yeah.

Whenever we walk by there, that guy goes, Yoodle, yoodle, yoodle.

Yeah. One of these days, when I have a lot of money, I'm gonna go get one of

those things. Yeah.

That was cool.

These dudes need to quit screwing around and get back to making

sandwiches. Yeah.

But, um...

It is kind of a good song, like, if you kind of listen to it for a while, it is

pretty cool.

Beavis, you bunghole. Quit talking about this video and do something funny

again. Um, okay,

check this out.

That's not even funny, Beavis. You have to do it like this.

Yeah, oh yeah.

I'll say that's cool. Yeah, I see what you mean. Okay, check this out.

Cool. Yeah, news rules.

And in a related story, a mysterious oil spill has shocked environmentalists

throughout the world.

Cool.

It's a major disaster in the Aegean Sea, affecting local fishermen off the coast

of Greece.

Cool. He's talking about Greece, but... Yeah.

Whoa, check it out.

They're using the same oil as us.

Oh, yeah.

They forgot to put the breading on it.

Yeah.

Those environmental guys are dumb.

Yeah. I bet that fish tastes like crap.

It's like, this video looks like one of those old punk bands, you know?

But it's like, the video doesn't look old.

So it's like, it seems like it's like a bunch of guys now who are like... Eh,

shut up, buddy.

Uh,

okay. I mean, Beavis, what did you just say?

I said shut up.

I get tired of listening to your stupid crap.

Just shut up. Beavis?

I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.

I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. Shut up. Beavis, there's going to be

two hits.

My hand hitting your face and my hand hitting your face again. Yeah, yeah,

right. I'm going to kick you in the mad. Just shut up. Beavis, don't you ever

tell me to shut up.

I'm going to beat the living crap out of you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. I'm going

to cave your nads in. Damn it, Beavis. I'm going to beat the living crap out of

your ass.

Take that, dumbass.

Shut up.

Shut up.

I'm gonna go get some meat.

Get back here and fight like a man.