Original subtitles

People are stupid for throwing this stuff out.

Yeah.

What a bunch of dumbasses.

Cool.

What is it?

Whatever it is, it stinks, Beavis.

It does?

Oh, yeah.

What should we do with it?

Uh, we could, like, take a leak on it.

That would be cool.

Damn it.

I just took a leak on some dog turds.

Damn it.

See, we could keep it like a pet.

Beavis, you ass munch, it's dead.

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

Uh, I know. Let's sell the fur. Then we can buy something cool.

Yeah, that'd be cool.

Uh,

this sucks.

Yeah, really.

All right, who's the lead singer here?

Yeah, come on. Let's get this crap right now before we shoot the video.

Keep an eye on that dude. He's got his hands in his pants.

Yeah, yeah. Where's that guy going? What's he doing back there?

Is that Elton John?

Yeah, yeah, it is. That's him.

That's him, all right.

Yep, and that's his dad and, like, his whole family, too.

Oh, yeah.

Check it out. I can read sign language.

Will Beavis ever score?

And the answer is, no.

Shut up, butthead. You're never going to score.

Shut up, butthead. Those eight balls aren't accurate.

She didn't shake it enough either.

Yeah, right.

Damn it. If I see one of these pictures of water in a video again, I'm going to

smack somebody.

Yeah, it's like they put that in every damn video. You really should smack

somebody, butthead.

Uh, okay.

Ah, cut it out, butthead.

I didn't put the water in the damn video.

Well, you probably would have if you had, like, gone to video college or

something. But now, thanks to me, you never will.

Thanks, butthead.

Uh,

you want to buy some fur?

What do you think?

Uh, I think you do.

Yeah, yeah.

And don't try to gyp us, and don't waste our time unless you're serious.

This is real fur.

I'll give it to you for some nachos.

Check it out. Chicks go nuts for this crap.

You might score.

Yeah, yeah.

We'll take nachos, you know, some rocket pops.

Look, here's some nachos. Now get that damn thing out of here.

Cool.

This animal is like good luck.

Yeah.

Maybe they'll buy it at the mall.

Hey, buddy, if we were, like, dead and an animal found us, do you think he'd

to, like, sell our fur? Don't be stupid, Beavis. He'd probably just sniff our

butts.

Really? Yeah.

Can I help you?

Uh, we got, like, some fur.

Yeah. We'll sell it to you for, like, $20.

Yeah. And it's worth at least half that.

Sorry, boys, but we don't sell real fur anymore.

Tell you what, I'll give you a buck and I'll dispose of this poor thing

properly. Uh, that's a pretty good deal.

No way, he's worth more than that.

Just look at him.

Uh, what if he gave us, like, five dollars?

Yeah, okay.

Uh, we'll take five dollars.

And that's, like, uh, our final offer or something.

Five dollars, I'm going to have to ask you to leave and take your smelly little

creature with you.

Uh, okay.

Come on, Beaver.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you suck.

And your fucking store sucks.

You don't know what good fur is.

I'm going to tell everybody that you don't sell real fur here.

They don't sell real fur here. They don't sell real fur here. You suck.

I don't understand. How come nobody wants our fur?

It's like that saying, don't look a dead horse in the mouth.

I don't think this is a horse, butthead.

What are you doing, Beavis?

Now I have a fur hat, like Davy Crockett.

Cool.

I bet you could, like, pick up chicks with that hat.

Less like they didn't like animals or something.

Hey, baby, check out his fur.

Ew!

Yeah, it's a dead animal.

Not anymore, though.

Now he's a hat.

So, like, uh, how about it?

Yuck, it's so disgusting.

No way.

He's good luck.

Well, if you really like something, you have to set it free. And if it comes

back to you, it's yours. And if it doesn't, then, like, it never was yours.

Yeah, that's why we have to go now.

Uh, oh, yeah.

So, uh, I guess we'll see you when you come back to us.

Wow.

You're pretty smooth, butthead.

Well, you heard her, dude. Set it free.

Um, you can go if you want.

Uh, I guess it's like we go away, and then, like, if we come back and it's

here, then it's ours.

Oh, yeah.

I'm back.

It's really mine.

I mean, ours.

Plant Man knows that plants will grow.

Plant Man knows that plants will grow.

Plant Man knows that plants will grow. Is this Robert Plant?

Plant Man?

What's that?

Oh, check it out. That's the thing I always play on the drum.

I can play that. Yeah.

That's probably the only thing this guy can play.

He brings his friends over and goes, hey, check this out.

He's probably like one of those rich kids, like his parents bought him a

and he couldn't play that either.

Well, maybe if I get a really cool suit, then that'll help.

Dammit, this Nickelodeon crap has gone too far.

Hey, buddy!

Hey,

I just thought of something.

Who do you think would win in a fight between Plant Man and Spoon Man?

I think Spoon Man would win, because he's like a bum.

And he could, like, beat his head with spoons.

I just thought of something else.

How come you keep doing that, Beavis?

Doing what?

That thing where you go, hey.

I don't know.

That kind of feels good. Hey, how's it going?

Hey. Hey.

This does feel pretty good.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Those chicks haven't come back yet, right?

Uh, not yet.

So, um, I guess that means, like, they were never ours to begin with?

Dammit, Beavis. If there's one thing I know, it's chicks.

They'll be back.

They're just, like, playing hard to get or something.

Oh, yeah.

Hard to get.

Go get it, Lucky!

You dumbass.

It's dead. It can't fetch.

Yeah, it can.

Check it out.

Go get it, boy.

Yeah. See?

Have fun.

Oh,

check it

out.

Yeah. Well,

what are they doing to that guy?

Maybe they're welding his butt cheeks shut.

Why would they do that?

I don't know. I think it would be cool to have a butt without a crack.

It's like, instead of having two butt cheeks, you just have one.

That would rule.

So, like, um, how would you take a dump?

Uh, it's like, you wouldn't have to take a dump anymore.

Because, like, you know, you'd only have one butt.

Really?

But, um, I don't know, I'd kind of miss it.

This butt munch sounds like Dave Mustaine.

Yeah, really.

Yeah. What a butt munch.

Oh, look, he just flipped somebody off.

He did?

Yeah, yeah, that's pretty cool.

Uh,

not unless we know who he flipped off.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe he flipped off that dude.

Yeah, what is that?

Uh, I think it's like a gong.

Yeah, it's like you hit him and then they have him go... Yeah.

Why don't they do that?

That might help the thong out a little bit.

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