Original subtitles

Thank you, my friend.

Whoa, check it out. A bomb.

Hey, hey, Mr. Hairdo. What's the best nation in the world?

Donation. Now, what's the best city in the world?

Generosity. Hey, come on, boys. How about putting something in the cup?

No.

Come on, guys.

Give me just a little money.

Whoa, there is money in there.

Whoa, is that all you got to do to get money around here?

Cool.

Beavis, I have seen the way.

I wonder what the rest of her body looked like.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you very much. Yeah.

Thank you. May I have another?

Uh, what TV show is this chick on?

Um, let's see. Family Tithe, Full House, My Two Dads, Growing Pains, One Day at

a Time. Uh, no.

Norris Place, Northern Exposure, What's Happening, Good Times, Jefferson. Shut

up, Beaver.

Uh, oh, she looks like that.

That chick that used to be young and have big hooters. Oh, yeah.

She was, like, you know, like, married to that dude and living with her

Now she does those commercials for, like, hungry foreign kids.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And she's also on that commercial for the Career Institute.

Where she's going, like, you can get a wonderful new career and an associate's

degree in business management, estate tech, court reporter, computer

high school.

Yeah.

I was thinking of signing up for that, um, that career institute. And, like,

I can be, like, X -Ray technician.

And I can, like, look some tech clothes and stuff.

That'd be cool. Yeah.

That would be a good job.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.

What?

What'd he say?

What? I didn't say anything.

Oh. I thought you said something like, just now?

Right before I went, didn't you say something?

Uh, no. Really?

I could have sworn I heard you say something like, you said, uh, yeah, that

cool, or something like that.

Uh, no, Beavis, I didn't say anything.

You ought to try not saying anything.

Okay. Well, you've got to try right now.

Uh, what's like the best nation in the world?

You're a nation.

We're gonna be rich.

You kids are gonna give us hard -working folks

a bad reputation.

You wanna make some real money, I'll give you some lessons.

But it's gonna cost you a little bit of coinage.

Uh... Beavis has a dollar in his... No way! I don't have a dollar!

Besides, I'm saving it for some nachos.

Don't be stupid, Beavis. He'll give you change.

Um, okay.

Lesson one.

No matter what, never give anyone change!

You got that?

Next, you're gonna need a cup.

Uh, excuse me, sir.

Damn it!

Why don't you get off the street and get out of my face, you lousy bum?

That was cool.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, you think it's cool, huh?

See, you look a lot better now. You got the coffee on you and stuff.

You smell like an AA meeting.

They like that. Play right into their hands, kids.

Yeah, cool.

Now, you don't want to be shaking an empty cup.

No, no, no.

Put some of your money in there to start it out.

Begging's expensive.

No, that's too much.

People think you're loaded, they won't give you a damn dime.

Whoa, you really think someone will give up a dime?

No, probably not.

Now here comes some coinage.

Tell her some kind of sad story, something that'd make God cry, but make

it's something believable. You don't say that you were born without any brains

or fingers.

or something. You know, just say, hello, lady.

It's me, Mr.

Goodnight Hairdo.

I

was,

like, born without any arms or legs.

Yeah, me too. I was born without any naps.

That's terrible.

Yeah, it really sucks.

I guess all my kids will be born without nads, too.

You dumbass.

I hope they'll be girls.

That's terrible what you two boys are doing. Did you ever stop to think that

there are other people who really need the money you're collecting?

Uh, no.

No. But, uh, if you give us money, then we'll, like, give it to other people or

something.

Oh, well, that's nice, I guess.

Yeah, we're gonna buy stuff.

Please give me some money.

I was born without a butt.

When I was born, the doctor slapped my butt. And then he spanked my monkey.

Hey, we don't allow any panhandlers here.

Yeah, Beavis.

What? He doesn't want you hanging around, you know.

Handling your pan?

Oh, yeah.

Um, don't worry, dude. I tried that once, and I didn't make much money.

Everybody just, like, stared at me and stuff.

All right, boys.

Move it along.

Begging sucks.

Yeah.

Donation!

Hey,

we want our money back.

Yeah, butthole.

Hey, look.

You turd boy.

Here, take your boy something to eat.

Whoa. Yeah.

Cheech and Chong?

Yeah.

Cheech and Sloan.

Cheech and Sloan.

I like these guys because they're stupid.

Remember that album your uncle had with these dudes on it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was cool.

Remember that one? Remember that guy who was going to go downtown and, like,

show his schlong to somebody?

Yeah.

I'm going to go downtown, going to see my gal, going to show her my schlong.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

And the guy keeps going, uh, no.

Uh, yeah.

Uh, yeah.

Uh, yeah.

Uh, yeah.

Gonna see my gal.

Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That was a good song. I wonder how they take stuff like

that up.

Yeah.

They need to do songs like that again.

Whatever happened to that album?

I broke it, remember?

I slammed it against the wall, and it, like, shattered. Oh, yeah.

That was cool.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that was pretty cool.

Please help me buy some food and some decent clothing for my two idiot

boys here.

I want them to have a better life than I had.

Oh, the poor man.

I wish I had more to give.

Raising them must be so difficult.

God, those kids look stupid.

Well, uh...

Dad, we got to keep all the coins, right? No!

You get to keep all the pennies.

Stop calling me dad, turd boy.

Pennies rule.

Thank you, my friend.

Is that all?

Never.

God bless you.

Cool.

That's the wrong song, Viva.

I thought this was something else. I'm sorry.

I was thinking of... It sounds just like some other song. What is it?

Oh, yeah. What song is that?

Oh, I don't know. I don't care.

Yeah.

Check it out, Viva.

This is what, like... music videos look like to dogs. Really?

Yeah. I thought on TV once that, like, dogs are, like, colorblind and stuff, so

they only see black and white. Really? You think that's what a video looks like

to Snoop Doggy Dog?

Uh, I don't think Snoop Dog would watch this crap.

Yeah, he'd be like, change the channel, biatch.

Um, they sort of look like, um, those things that hang over the baby cribs.

they're like, they're like black and white and stuff.

Uh, what the hell are you talking about?

You know, those things that hang over the cribs. And they're like, um, black

white pictures. And like, um, you know, they're supposed to play with them and

stuff.

Uh,

Beaver, is your mom still giving you baby toys?

She gets them for free out behind Hobby Town Gifts.

They're like, they're like really fun.

Don't laugh.

What? Mess.

Mess.

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