Original subtitles

Check it out, Beaver. A wedding.

Whoa!

For what?

So we gotta go, dumbass.

Oh, yeah.

Let's go against the wall over there.

No butt munch. We gotta go to the wedding. And every wedding there's like

bride chick. And then right after it's over, everyone gets to make out with

Really?

Yeah.

Plus I heard that like chicks put out on their wedding night.

It's like a law or something.

We're there, dude.

This is gonna be cool.

What's going on here?

Hit that button on the remote that says diff.

I think that makes all that stuff go away.

It's not working, butthead.

I think the TV's broken again.

No, Beavis.

Look, they've got those deaf words on the bottom of the screen.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe we're deaf then.

Beavis, you dumbass. We can't be deaf. We can hear the music.

Maybe we're blind.

Beavis, just shut up. We need to figure out what's wrong with the TV.

Hey,

I think this is Prince.

Oh, really?

Then maybe this is just like a big close -up of his butt.

Yeah.

Just a big picture of his butt.

Yeah, but this is a close -up of his butt.

Where's the crack?

Maybe this is just like a close -up of the crack.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

It's an extreme close -up of the crack of his ass.

Come on, change it, butt -head. I've seen enough butt crack for one day.

No way, Beavis.

Let's wait and see if something comes out of it.

No, I... Oh, I... Oh, yeah.

He sure does like to show his butt.

Yeah. Remember when he had those pants where you could, like, see his butt

cheeks through them?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Those pants were cool.

I mean, I like those pants.

If they were on a chick, you know.

Yeah.

It seems like, though, you know, since...

This video is all just a butt crack.

And they really, like, don't need any words.

This music sucks.

Yeah.

I wonder when that bride chick's gonna get here.

Whoa.

Come to Butthead.

Yeah, me too.

It's working, butthead. It's working.

She's coming right to us.

Settle down, Beavis.

I heard she's all dressed in white because, like, she's never done it

Oh, yeah.

So, like, shouldn't we be wearing white, too?

Hey, baby.

Hey, baby.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, where are you going?

The fuck?

Oh, look at her train.

Yeah.

Check out the caboose.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join Sarah and Howard in holy

matrimony. Howard?

Who's Howard?

Probably one of those dorks up there.

Howard!

Oh, God.

Must be friends of the bride.

So I must emphasize, of course, that when we see Sarah and Howard up here,

not looking at two individuals joining together.

That sucks. What's going on?

Yeah, really.

Come on. Hurry up.

Let's turn to the vow, shall we?

Howard. Do you take this woman to have and to hold? Yeah, yeah.

I do. I do.

Yeah, yeah, me too.

Yeah, to hold.

I want to hold her butt.

And, Sarah, do you take this man to have and to hold from this day forward? No

way.

Take me. I do. Yeah, yeah, over here. Over here.

Okay, okay.

All right, well, if anyone here knows of any reason why these two should not be

joined together, speak now or forever hold your peace.

I know a reason.

Because he's a dork.

Hey, baby, why don't you join together with me instead?

All right, let's save it for the reception, gang, okay?

I now pronounce you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Hushers.

Hushers.

Hey, we were here for a bunghole. Hey, let go of me. Hey, cut it out.

Damn it. Hey, cut it out.

Hey,

what's this?

Yeah.

No,

don't stub your toe.

That scares me, my head.

The thought of, like, you're hanging your feet off the end of a car, you

like that?

And then it's like, you accidentally... Ah, there it is again!

No!

Settle down, dumbass.

That's dangerous.

You're, like, letting your feet hang down. It's like, you can accidentally

the asphalt and then... Ow!

Well, what, Viva?

I don't know. It's like, I want their feet to look nice, you know.

Really?

I like it when chicks have, you know, like, nice feet.

Keep your feet up! Come on!

Hands on them.

Okay,

Viva.

I think you ought to just shut up.

Feet, feet, ow!

Damn it.

They keep showing, like, naked feet and hands and stuff. It's like they need to

show the rest.

Come on.

You have to wait, Viva.

They like to, you know, show a little bit at a time.

Okay, okay. I can wait.

Have a little world up in his hands.

Ah! I know you're going to stub your toe.

Damn it. I want to see a bull now.

Damn it, Cleaver.

Shut up.

I love the whole world off the pad.

Give it to me.

Yeah. You know one cool thing about the chick band?

What?

Like, you know.

They have chicks in them?

Oh, check it out, buddy.

There's junk flying out of their nostrils.

I think those are magic sprinkles.

That's pretty cool.

Well,

looky there.

Someone's getting married.

Hell, I remember when I got a weekend furlough from the service just to make

honest woman out of you. Remember that?

Yes, dear.

Being married must suck.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, Beavis, I just thought of something. If you get, like, married,

always be hanging out with the same person. Oh, yeah. Saying all the same

for, like, years and years.

Oh, yeah.

That would suck.

Take my hand, honey bunch.

Pull my finger, butt munch.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, kids.

Arnold is proud to present... This is like some show, right?

Of course it is, butt munch.

It's on TV.

Oh, yeah.

No, but I don't think this is a video.

They don't play many videos anymore.

It's all, like, shows and, like, people snowboarding and stuff.

I think that's a happy day. Yeah.

Crappy day.

Pretty funny, but it's a happy day. You call it a crappy day.

One,

two, three, four. A smeedle. A slong.

Yeah.

We're going to do it. Give us any chance, we'll take it. Give us any

we'll break it.

We're going to make it. We're not going to fake it. All we need is just a little

pay, Ken.

Yeah.

I like the show better when that other dude on the restaurant, that dude from

Karate Kid.

Oh, yeah.

Daniel, if I come from inside you, I'll leave right.

Yeah.

That dude could kick.

Fonzie's ass.

Fonzie doesn't even know karate.

These dudes were always, like, calling each other nerds and stuff. Yeah, I

wonder why.

I think it was, like, back in the old days before they invented words like mad

and butt munch and dumbass.

Yeah, yeah.

Things are a lot better now.

Yeah.

Butt munch.

You know what else they're always saying?

They're always saying, like, sit on it. Sit on what?

Have a pretty cool show.

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