Original subtitles

Please don't grant me any more wishes, Jeannie. It'll only make Dr. Bellows

think I'm crazy. No, it won't, Master. Not if you are dressed like Socrates,

wisest man of all time.

What a dumbass.

Yes.

Major Nelson, are you nuts?

Quick, Jeannie, back in your bottle.

Yes, Master.

Major Nelson.

This shell's gonna suck now. She's stuck in the bottle. Yeah, that's the truck.

It happened to me once.

You're a dumbass, Beavis.

Oh, yeah.

Swap.

Can't get a house while I'm gone.

Clean up your room.

Take out the garbage.

Oh, check it out.

I can't believe he's talking to Snoop that way. Yeah.

If that wasn't his mom, he'd be putting the smack down. Yeah, really.

Those are cool pajamas.

Yeah.

Snoop rules.

Yeah, yeah.

Doggy Dog is in the mother tail.

Oh, check it out. He's got a phone on the toilet.

Yeah.

We've got to get one of those.

Dog.

It's a doggy dog world.

It's a doggy dog world.

Yeah.

It's your world.

Well, let me just touch your boob. Of course he did.

It's a doggy dog world.

I'm a G.

I'm a straight G. Yeah, you're a G for gonad.

Shut up, what?

You might get smoked if you keep at it.

Hey, watch your back, homie.

Hey, bud, you know I'm from Compton?

Damn it, Beavis, shut up.

You're not from Compton.

No way, bud, I'm serious.

I was kicking it on the street.

It was a hard time.

I used to drink gin and juice.

It was cool. Beavis, you're a white wussy from right here. No way, bud, you

don't know. You weren't around then. You know, me and Snoop, we used to go to

the Compton Swap Meet together.

Beavis.

You used to go to the flea market with your mom.

Don't worry about it. See, I wear this shirt.

These are my colors.

Beavis. Yep.

I'm a straight G. Shut up.

Yep. Me.

I used to go to the Compton Swap Meet with Snoop, you know.

I used to kick it with Greg.

Beavis. Shut up.

You've never been to Compton. You're never going to go to Compton. You're

to be here for the rest of your life. You're stupid.

You don't have any money. You're never going to score.

What is

it? Food?

Let's roll.

Uh, money?

Cool.

Maybe it's like that genie chick.

Maybe it's like, give me wishes and call me master and stuff.

Who cut the cheese?

I wish I knew who farted.

Wait a minute.

This bottle just gave me my wish, butthead.

I know who cut the cheese.

It must have been one of us.

And it wasn't me, so it must have been you. Yeah.

No way, butt knocker.

Besides, there isn't any chick in that bottle.

There's nothing but a dead mouth in there.

You dumbass.

It must have, like, farted before it died.

Don't wait, butt -head.

And don't call me butt -knocker.

Give me my genie bottle back.

If that's a real genie bottle, let's see it give you another wish.

I gotta think of something to wish for.

Let's see.

Wait a minute.

Wishing sucks.

I wish for something cool or something.

Uh,

nothing cool happened, Beavis. Yeah, that's pretty cool.

No, it's not, buttwad.

Oh, yeah.

You better get rid of that damn bottled fever.

That mouth stinks.

Oh, yeah.

All right, people. I have just been informed that your remaining classes are

postponed until we locate the source of the even more vile than usual order in

this room.

Everybody report to the cafeteria now.

Cool. See?

I told you this mouse would give me a cool wish.

I wish I had nachos.

And I wish I could score.

I wish I was scoring right now with 20 chips all at the same time.

I wish you'd get rid of that smelly bottle.

Nothing's happening. This sucks.

Yeah, really.

It sucks and it stinks.

Get rid of that bottle, Beavis, before I smack you.

Let's leave it in the cafeteria.

Cool.

Yeah, yeah, chicks!

Yeah, yeah, here are some chicks, yeah!

Uh, not so fast, Beavis.

Hey, those aren't chicks.

This is that beer commercial where those four dudes come in and it's like

ladies' night, and they're dressed up like chicks.

No way, really?

Yeah.

It's really dumb.

No way about it. Um, really?

Yeah.

Boy, they have some pretty nice boobs for a dude.

Yeah, I guess so.

Whoa, check it out. She's got a boner switchblade.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Cool.

I'll save you, baby. I'll save you.

As long as you do it with me.

It's like one of those movies where they're kicking ass in a restaurant, and

guy comes out and says, your crab style's very good, but it's not much for

flying crane style.

Yeah, except this is a beer commercial.

I like when girls fight. They're like,

yeah, she called me a bitch and I said, you're a slut. Yeah, well, we'll go

outside and we'll see who the slut is, bitch.

Settle down, diva.

Yeah,

you slut.

Yeah, yeah, bitch.

I should have done this

at the beginning of the video.

I was

in the cafeteria, and I found this

bottle with a dead mouse in it, so I took it to the bottling plant, and they

gave me 20 bucks not to tell anyone, because it would be bad for business and

stuff. Cool.

Uh, That sounds kind of like the mouse we found.

Um, yeah.

Oh,

I smell another mouse.

Hey, you.

No creature is stirring.

Not even a mouse.

I just cut the cheese.

Oh, yeah.

Now that means you gotta, like, give us a wish.

Let's see.

I got one.

I wish you hadn't farted.

Uh,

what the hell is that?

Yeah, what the hell was that?

What?

Yeah, what did he say?

Hey, but I think I understood something he said.

I think he said river.

Good ear, Beavis.

Well, like, this song must be about, like, this river.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, is that a buffalo?

Uh, I think it's a wolf.

A buffalo could kick a wolf's ass, butthead.

Damn it, Beavis.

Wolves eat buffalo.

That's what they do for a living.

I'm not gonna argue with you, butthead.

Morrissey could probably kick a buffalo's ass.

Shut up, buddy.

Buffalo roll.

Well, I just heard another word.

I think he said two.

He said two, buddy.

That's not a word. That's a number.

Well, somebody heard it.

Maybe there's like two buffalo.

Yeah.

Or maybe two wolves.

Shut up, buddy.

Yeah.

Check it out, Beavis.

There's a chick in a river.

Oh, yeah, yeah. See? See? So that's why I said river. See?

See? The river.

Because there's a chick on the river. See?

Yeah. I was right. Yeah.

Uh, okay, Beavis.

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