Original subtitles

Yeah, Tom, we're kind of between a rock and a hard place.

Wiley's a no -show. His wife got him locked up tonight.

Well, damn it. You know it ain't no good without a four.

What about those boys you got working in the yard?

You gotta think the two of them together can handle a seat at the table.

And let them inside the house?

Do they even have any money?

Well, I guess they got what I owe them for the yard work.

Hell, by the end of the night, figure I could have the job done for nothing.

Old people.

I got the VCR.

What?

You know, old people. You know, that guy in that commercial, you know, that old

dude, you know? He goes, I got the VCR.

I don't know what you're talking about, Viva.

Nutsack. Shut up with it.

Don't call me that.

Daddy doesn't understand me.

Yeah, really.

Woman. Yeah, really.

It must really suck to have a dad who's, like, still around after you're born.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I wonder what that's like.

This guy's dad seems pretty cool, though. Yeah.

It's too bad he's got a wolf for a son.

Yeah, really.

It's like this guy's dad tried to do something nice for him and take him on a

picnic, and he just, like, runs away and acts like a little wussy.

If they took me out on a picnic, I'd, like, scarf down all the food, and then

go, like, run around and, like, put ants in people's pants and all that stuff.

Yeah.

It's a psychobilly freakout! Yeah, yeah, it's a psychobilly freakout!

This dude is weird.

Yeah. He's like our kind of people.

I think I used to see this guy down at Maxi Mart, like, playing video games all

day and, like, drinking flushies. Oh, yeah, yeah. I heard he got a million

points on Centipede once. Yeah.

He's cool.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

It's a psychobilly freakout. Yeah, yeah.

That's what it is, bud.

Yeah. Psychobilly freakout.

Everybody, put on your pants.

Hey, buddy, what kind of music is this?

I think

it's

like some kind of country music.

But it's like...

Country music after you've been, like, playing centipede for, like, 24 hours?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

This would make good music to play, like, while you're playing centipede.

like, you know, centipede going around.

Yeah,

yeah.

I bet you could score a lot of points.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, maybe you could score.

Now, this here is five card.

Jacks are better.

Quarter minimum, three dollar max.

Three raises will test the gonies.

Uh... Cool.

You fellas on board?

Uh... I guess.

Good enough, then. Let's get busy, boys.

Whoa.

Yeah. Cool.

Give me that one.

Oh, wait, butt licker. Get your own.

Come on, give me some.

Well, what do you say there, Boz? You're the man.

I'll bet a buck.

Dusty? I mean... Boys?

Boys? Uh, what?

Y 'all in?

Um, what does that mean?

Well, you can fold and give me your cards or throw in a blue chip and stay

the game.

Uh, okay.

Cards? Three.

I'll take two.

Boys? Come on, boys.

Uh, huh?

How many cards you need?

You can take up to three.

Yeah, yeah, three, three, three.

Discards, please.

Uh, what?

If you want three cards, you gotta give me three of those. No way!

Yeah.

You already got the whole deck to look at, butthole.

Come on now, Dusty, while we're young.

All right, already, keep your britches on.

Tom, I'll see your three. Bob, I'll see your three. And I'll raise you three of

my own.

Good enough, then.

Boys, that'll be a niner to y 'all. Uh, we got like one white one.

Afraid that ain't gonna get you there, boy.

You wanna stay in, you're gonna have to go light.

Uh, okay.

Y 'all know what that means?

Uh, uh, no.

Means you lose, you hop on that payment plan to the winner.

I don't know, Tom.

Are these boys good for it?

Well, I tell you what, I'll throw in for you. But if y 'all go down, you're

gonna be on me some elbow grease.

Uh, okay.

Nine for the boys, and here's my six.

Three more from you, Boz, and we're gonna find us a happy man.

Hey, where's our new card?

Look, I've told you every time. You get new cards once per hand.

Now, what do you have, Boz? Two pair.

Jacks and fours.

Beach me.

Well, I'd like to thank y 'all for kindly coming over, and y 'all are

back anytime.

I got me a two -pair, but this here's the cowboys and their sweeties.

Yes.

Two pairs?

Is that all?

Uh, we got four pairs of boobs and one butt. Yes.

Boobs are cool.

Boy. Tom, the boy's got a flood.

Say, what?

Yeah, Dusty's right. Take a look.

What in the hell?

Damn it. You win, boys. Yes!

Yes!

Whoa,

check it out. What is it? The turd burglar.

Hey, you mean the hamburglar, dude.

No, he's a turd burglar. Oh, yeah.

Look at this dumbass, how come he's the only one wearing makeup?

It's like him and the band all got together and stuff, and I said, okay

we're all gonna wear some scary makeup tomorrow, it's gonna be really cool,

we're gonna kick some ass. But then this dumbass was the only one stupid enough

to do it.

The other dudes were probably like, you put makeup on? You dumbass, we were just

joking.

Boy,

this is horrible.

Don't say that. I kind of feel sorry for these guys.

Yeah.

If I had a mic like that, I'd stick a mic

into every end, so I'd have like four mics, and then I'd be four times as

No, you wouldn't. You can only thing into one end at a time, Beaver. How do I

fun that around really fast?

Beavis, it doesn't matter how fast you spin it around, you'd still only be

singing into one mic at a time.

No, no, but I mean, I'm talking about, I'd like to roll it around really fast.

I mean, like, yes, really fast.

Like that.

Uh, yeah, I guess that might work.

Cool.

Rock smashes scissors.

That was pretty cool that Anderson let us keep these chips instead of, like,

giving them back for a bunch of quarters.

Yeah. These blue ones are worth a lot more.

Paper smashes scissors.

Winning is cool.

No, it isn't.

Fuck.

Uh, what is this?

Uh, yeah, yeah, poison.

Oh, nah, this is poison.

This is so horrible.

I can't even begin to talk about how much this sucks.

Yeah, yeah, really. Look at these butt knockers. Yeah.

Ooh, let me tell you what I want.

Remember back when they used to, like, play videos by these guys all the time?

Yeah, that really sucks.

Yeah.

It's a good thing they're gone.

Yeah, really.

Wait a minute. That dude right there? I think he's that dude that drives the

snack truck now. Oh, yeah.

That's right. He's got, like, a mustache now, and he's just got long hair in the

back. Yeah, yeah, that's him.

I bet these guys, like... Practice their little woofy dance moves.

Poison.

You're a little too good at that, Viva.

Bobby.

Cece. And Brett.

And don't forget, Ricky.

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