Original subtitles

Pole vaulters.

Baton passers.

Javelin throwers.

Whoa!

Ow. You dumbass.

I warned you.

Yeah! Yeah, yeah, here it is! It's about the time. It's on, buddy, it's on!

Okay, Beavis, now shut up.

Oh, yeah, okay.

I'm just gonna shut my mouth and watch.

Yeah! Take it for a...

Yeah, they're going to kick some ass now.

Beavis, you thought you were going to shut up. Oh, sorry.

I'm just going to shut up and listen.

Yeah, yeah, check it.

See, this guy's going up on the roof.

This guy doesn't know what's going to happen. And so when he goes into his

apartment, they're going to beat the living crap out of him. Check this out.

Damn it, Beavis. I told you to shut up.

I'm not going to say anything.

I'm just going to be quiet.

I'm just going to be quiet for a while.

Whoa, check this out. Check this out.

Check this out, Pete.

He's coming. He's delivering room service.

Beavis. Oh, sorry. I forgot.

This is exciting.

Yeah, yeah.

Now that's Stuart Wallace. Stuart Wallace, he plays himself.

Isn't it going to be cool when this video finally comes out? What are you

talking about, Beavis? You know, when the real video finally comes out.

This is a video, dumbass. No way.

It's going to be that cool.

Whoa. Hey, buddy, see this is Fred Kelly. He plays Bunny. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, Nathan wins, see? It's Cochise.

Cochise is cool.

Yeah, Cochise kicks ass.

And that's the rookie, see?

See Cochise back there? Uh -huh. See, the rookie, he's got a really short

see? Oh, yeah.

He's pretty good, but he's got a bad temper. So Cochise has to calm him down

sometimes.

Cool. All right, man, hit the showers, now!

Where the hell do you think you're going?

Uh, to class.

Maybe you didn't hear me when I told you to hit the showers.

Uh, we thought you were, like, talking to somebody else.

I was talking to...

But, like, uh, we didn't sweat.

Yeah, yeah.

And if it's all the same, sir, um, I'd just like to wait till I get home to

a shower.

That would be all right. Look at you, boy!

You're covered in crap!

Um, that was last week.

This is blood, sir.

The name of this class is Physical Education, and that includes proper

hygiene. Hit the showers now or fail!

Uh, well, it looks kind of... crowded in there.

Do I have to undress you myself, butthead? Uh, no.

Yeah, I mean, no.

This sucks. I hate taking showers.

Yeah.

I don't want some naked dude standing with a schlong right next to me. Yeah,

really. I don't want some naked dude standing next to me with a schlong

around saying, hey, good game, man.

And you better not look at me.

fart knocker or I'll kick your ass.

You look at me, I'm gonna kick your ass.

Hey, Beavis and Butthead, are you guys gonna finally take a shower?

Uh, um, hey, dude.

I've never seen you guys take a shower before.

Uh, yeah.

How come you guys never take a shower? Uh, hey, Beavis, it's all clear.

Hey, Beavis, can you help me with this?

I'm beginning to wonder if you boys have ever taken a shower in your lives.

What in the hell do you think you're doing with your underwear still on?

We don't want anybody looking at our nads.

Yeah.

Are you one of those gym teachers that likes to hang out and watch dudes in the

shower?

Dammit, boy, you have pushed me to the limit.

You're not getting out of it this time.

We have been saved by the power supreme.

Yes.

Fire drill rule.

Are you...

Not edge.

Oh, no,

I think there's that video where this guy just sits there and just, like,

mumbles the whole time. Yeah.

I think it's called numb.

It should be called dumb.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, get his mouth. Yeah, tie it around his mouth. Yeah, tie his jaw

shut.

That guy's saying, uh,

excuse me, Edge, this really sucks. Maybe we shouldn't do this.

And then Bono's saying, if you don't stop singing, I'm going to make out with

you. And I'm going to rub my chin all over your boobs. Yeah.

Wait a minute.

Cool. Well, he's got a lot of self -control not to, like, you know, do

about that. Yeah, but you can't see his hands.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah,

yeah, yeah. Kick him. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Have your foot in his mouth.

Yeah.

Oh, yuck. Jesus kissed him where that chick put her feet.

That's yucky. Yeah.

Check this out.

Thank you very much, Edge. Now will you please get the hell out of here?

Up yours.

Yep, that's him, officers.

Book him, Dano.

Kick him, Dano. He deserves it. He's fucked.

We charge you with being in a fucky video for a crappy song.

Guilty as charged.

Well, where are they taking him?

I think they're going to go torture him somewhere, like to get him to say

something. Oh, yeah. You mean like, I'm a monkey's uncle?

No, dumbass. Like, you know, where the money is or something like that. If I

were that dude, I'd just like kick him in the nab and then like smack their

heads together and then just like tear ass.

Beavis, if that was you, they'd just like touch you and then you'd go, I'm a

monkey's uncle and I put the money in my backyard.

No, sir.

What, Monk?

They're making him fight the janitor. Fight, yeah.

If I was a janitor, I'd, like, throw a bunch of thot -ups with puke at him, and

I'd go, now who's bad?

Yeah, yeah, really.

Whoa. Yeah, yeah.

What?

He turned into a bird.

If I could turn into a bird...

I'd turn into a cock.

Whoa, is this a star -bellied snitches?

Uh... What the hell are you talking about, Beva?

You know, the star -bellied snitches? Uh, no.

I read it in the book at my cousin's house. It's like, there's these snitches

that live on these beaches, and, like, some of them have scars and some of them

don't. And, like, so they fight, and, like, they roast marshmallows, and they,

like, hit each other with these sticks. And then this dude comes along with this

machine, and he, like, puts them in there, and it's, like, they put scars on

their butts.

It's really cool. Dammit, Beavis, you've never read a book in your life.

Well, I know, but I looked at the pictures, and they were cool.

You butt munch.

You're a wuss. Shut up, butthead.

Our bellies need to roll.

Whoa, look at him go.

That's how I was dancing that time I crashed the prom, remember?

Yeah.

Only you had your pants around your ankles.

Yeah, that was cool.

Yeah.

Only they kicked your ass out of there before you could even bust a move.

That's kind of rock.

Yeah.

Makes me want to boogie down.