Original subtitles

One unidentified official claimed that, quote, these parties were known for

their wild, rowdy behavior, and any women in attendance should have expected

that the men would tear their clothes off and cop a feel.

Okay, Bob, kind of makes me wish I'd joined the military.

Hey, Beavis, we should, like, throw a party. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We could have,

like, cake and stuff.

No, dumbass. We should have, like, a party with chicks.

And, you know, cop a feel.

That's a good idea, but... Where'd you get these ideas?

They come from my wiener. Oh, yeah?

We're gonna score.

I want you to open your eyes.

And I want you to look at me.

Now, baby, do you think you could do me?

Oh. I see you've brought some friends.

Ooh, baby.

I'd like three of these chicks in pink. Yeah, me too. And four of the ones in

black, please.

And I'd like all of them, please.

Thank you, guys.

I haven't seen this video in, like, a really long time.

Yeah, it's been a long time.

I kind of missed the bus.

Yeah.

This dude looks like one of those drunk businessmen at those Krokioki bars.

Oh, yeah.

Remember that time we were looking in the window and we saw that big fat slob?

He was going, I'm crazy.

Yeah.

I don't remember when that Chinese dude got up and he sang.

You ain't nothing but hound dog.

Crying all the time.

Anything. Love me tender.

Love me true.

Never let me go.

I can't do better than that.

He didn't say that, Beaver.

Today I want to rap a little bit about sexism. I wonder if anyone can give me

example of sexism. Does anyone have anything they'd like to share?

Uh, yeah.

Like, uh, we're gonna have a party. Yeah, it's gonna rock.

Yeah, and we especially want chicks to come, so we can, like, uh, uh, uh, you

know.

Good job, guys. That's exactly what I'm talking about. Anybody else?

This party's gonna kick ass.

Yeah.

We're going to have a party.

I'm going to score, man.

So?

How much party stuff can we buy with this much money?

None, but I'll give you some used forks from our toppings bar.

Cool. And I got some day -old donuts.

Donuts roll.

This party's going to rock.

We need one more thing, dude.

We need some hard stuff.

I got some hard stuff.

Not that, dumbass.

I'm talking about booze.

You know, liquor.

Let's ask that dude out back.

Uh, can we have some of that?

Do you have any kind of smokers?

Uh, no.

We got some donuts.

Here for what?

And here is for your donuts.

Cool.

The hard stuff rules.

We're going to score.

Hey, butthead, can I set this down? My hands are getting tired. No way, Beavis.

When the chicks walk in, they need to see it in your hands so they know you're

cool.

It's them. It's the chicks. It's the chicks.

Should I pretend like I'm drinking it?

Hi, guys.

Uh, what the hell are you doing here?

Time to party down, dudes.

I'm psyched. Hope you don't mind. I brought some buds from the youth group.

Wow, you were right, Stuart.

This party kicks rear.

You guys will have to come to our Loaves and Fishes cookout next week. Deal?

Uh, no.

Yeah. I'll pinch a little for you, though.

Okay, maybe MacGyver could beat Michael in a fight, but it doesn't matter

because nobody's smarter than a computerized car.

It does so matter because without Michael, Kit's just a normal car. Oh,

right. A normal talking car? Right.

Whoa.

It's... Todd. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Todd, he's really here. He's really here.

How's it going? Hey, man. This party looks more like a daycare center for

baby girls.

Hey, man. Want some hard stuff?

Give me that.

Yeah.

This crap is warm.

Get some cold stuff.

Uh.

I tell you what, ladies. If you leave right now, I'll let you go without

your asses. Uh. What? We got some women coming over.

Your party's over, man.

Uh, okay.

It's cool, dudes.

At my house, I've got a great new D &D video game.

Yay! All right!

Yeah!

All right, ladies and gentlemen, are you ready to get wild?

Yeah. Are you ready to rock? Uh -huh. I want to ask you one question. Are you

ready to rock? I can't hear you. Okay. I can't hear you. Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome... Where are you going?

Uh, Jesus Lizard?

Please welcome Jesus Lizard!

I'm pretty good at that, yeah.

I had to be one of those guys.

I bet I could do that.

Beavis, you would suck.

The audience would, like, start booing, and then the band would kick your ass.

Shut up about it.

You know, one of my teachers told me I had special abilities.

Beavis, she just said that because you're stupid.

Oh, really?

These guys aren't too bad for one of those Jesus bands.

Yeah.

They don't really sound like Christian rock, though.

No, I mean like, you know, for one of those bands that has Jesus in their

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's like about 900 of those bands. You know, the Jesus

and Mary, Joseph, like 900 -foot Jesus, you know. Yeah.

And most of them.

Fuck.

For the rest of my life.

Okay, here we go. Another video.

Line them up.

Yeah.

Yeah, peel out. Burn rubber. Yeah.

Tear ass.

Fight, fight, fight. Yeah, hit him. Kick the pumpkin.

These hippies are going to smash the pumpkin.

No.

Hippies never break stuff.

What about that Gallagher dude?

Oh, yeah.

He's, like, really irritating and he's not very funny. Yeah, really.

Well, then it's pretty cool because he starts smashing stuff.

Yeah, like, you have to sit through all the stuff and it doesn't make any sense.

And it's like, he starts breaking stuff and, like, throwing stuff at the

audience. Yeah.

That's good. Shaving cream on the van.

Yeah, throwing eggs. Very nice.

It's like, I don't understand toilet papering someone's house.

It's like, you're just doing them a favor. Yeah, really.

Now that someone would toilet paper my house, I've been wiping my butt with

newspaper for about a month.

Yeah.

I've been using this washcloth. Oh, yeah, yeah. I've been using that same

washcloth, yeah.

Whoa.

Todd is cool.

Yeah.

Broke everything.

That must have been a cool party.

Yeah.

Maybe next time he'll let us stay.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey! Hey, girls!

Uh, Todd.

Hey, man.

I like it.

Did you have a good time at our party? Yeah, yeah.

I just wanted to let you know that, uh, you guys owe me 50 bucks for expenses.

I will be by later. Pick it up.

He must have had a really good time.

Yeah. We'll have to throw another party.

Yeah.

It's a good thing we had plenty of hard stuff.

Yeah. We just need to make sure it's cold next time. Yeah.

Hey, no shoes, no shirt, no service.

Those are the rules.

Now get the hell out of my store.

The asswipe I will beat.

Did he just say asswipe? He said housewife.

Sounds like asswipe to me, buddy.

Who cares, Davis?

Whoa!

I think he's saying, get your gun.

I think this is one of those stop the violence things.

You know, like, enough is enough.

You know, they really should, you know, stop the violence.

Sometimes it, like, hurts, you know. It's like, maybe, you know, like, if

give me a chance, you know, like...

Ow! Shut up, butthead!

Shut up, Beavis. I'm trying to watch this.

Damn it, butthead!

Damn it, Beavis.

Damn it, butthead.

I'm trying to be like, you know, like if they stop the violence, then... Ow!

Now quit acting like a damn wuss, Beavis, or I'm going to get medieval on

ass.

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