Original subtitles

Hey!

Hey,

Beavis.

What's the most you ever got from a chick?

Remember that time that chick rubbed her thingies against my shoulder?

Oh, yeah.

And I even saw her thingies.

Let's go do that again.

Yeah, yeah.

That's gonna be cool.

Come on, buddy, change it. I think I've got

music back for everything again.

No, it's not.

I think it rocked later.

Whoa, is that a white zombie?

Uh, might as well be. What, Marcus Welby, what?

Every time you see

a dude like this in a video with a suit on and sunglasses, it means he's bad.

Yeah, I think that's a guy from that commercial for the... Institute of

Entertainment Arts.

Check this out. Behind every rock band is an elite group of professionals that

make the show happen.

Oh, yeah.

I was thinking of signing up for that.

I bet I could score.

Beavis, you could own the whole arena and you wouldn't score.

Shut up, buddy.

I bet I could score if I had one of those cellular phones.

Uh,

maybe. But you're never going to get one of those.

Well, I could get a fake one. I'd be like, okay, we'll have the band over

We'll be right over. Okay.

Oh, no.

Oh, God.

Here we go again with another crappy fuck video.

Here we go again.

This sucks.

Oh, God.

What the hell is the problem with this crap?

This sucks.

Yeah, I think that's what that note said.

Damn it, damn it, son of a bitch. Damn it, damn it, son of a bitch. If those

were the words, it'd be cool.

I was thinking of writing a song called, Damn it, son of a bitch.

Damn it, damn it, son of a bitch. Damn it, damn it, son of a bitch. Son of a

bitch. Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch.

Damn it, damn it, damn it.

That's pretty cool.

She sucked so bad they locked her in a box.

Yeah, really.

You know who else ought to do a concert from inside a box?

Nelson.

Oh, yeah. Bon Jovi.

How come those guys have to use a crowbar? Nobody nailed it shut. They're

crowbar? Yeah.

They should get that big fat dude from crowbar to come into this video and

straighten everybody out.

He'd come in and make them all do push -ups.

No.

This chick's got, like, too much clothes.

I could let some dude cut my hair.

He'll probably accidentally, like, rub his nads on your elbow.

Oh, wait.

Yes. Yeah, yeah.

Yes. Yeah, yeah.

Come to butthead.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna go to her.

Can I help you?

Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... I

like... Uh... Hold your head back.

Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh...

Uh... Damn, what a sham.

Hey, buddy, did you see anything?

Beavis, I have seen the top of the mountain, and it is good.

Ow!

So,

uh, you come here often?

Hey, Beavis.

Hand me a magazine to, you know... Okay, let's go.

Uh, not yet. I mean, like, do Beavis first.

Yeah, yeah, do me.

Do me, baby.

Okay, then. Put your head back.

Get ready to climb the mountain, dude.

Oh, is that too hot?

You lean over a little more. Ow!

Ow!

I thought both of them.

You can see her whole boob.

Me too.

Are you guys ready yet?

Hey, Beaver.

I've still got a woody woodpecker.

Baby,

come on, man.

Let's get out of here.

Those little asswipes, hang out for a second. This won't take long.

Uh, I think we're ready now.

Me too.

Just a little bit off the top and side.

What is this?

Not together or something.

Yeah.

It's like everybody sings like this now.

Well, look at their hair, bud. It reminds me of, like, the pom -poms, you

at pep rallies.

Do you go to pep rallies?

Yeah.

You know, sometimes I go just to check out the bus.

If these guys practiced their instruments as much as they practiced

their hair around, they'd be, like, pretty good, probably.

I don't know. They'd probably still fuck.

But, you know, maybe it's just me.

Doctor.

If I was a doctor, I'd just come in and say, Okay, everybody, drop your pants.

That would be cool.

Then you could, like, make a lot of money, too.

Hey,

Beavis.

Your haircut sucks.

Well, yours sucks worse.

Todd's pretty cool, but he sucks at cutting hair.

Yeah, he called off asswipes.

We saw the top of the mountain.

Yeah, yeah.

And my shoulder got some.

Yeah.

Whoa, hey, butthead, check it out. It's a liar.

It's a liar.

Liar. I'll rip your guts out. I'll kick your ass.

Liar. Shut up.

Those aren't the words.

Whoa, whore.

Check it out, butthead. Whore. Yeah.

Whore rule.

I would fuck to be a cab driver.

No, wait, but I think it'd be pretty cool.

I'd be a good cab driver. I'd be like, where are you going today, ma 'am?

Okay. How do you get there?

You would fuck, Viva.

You sounded like a stupid dork.

You're never going to be able to do anything.

That would be cool.

Check out this part, but I'd give me, hey, excuse me, pardon me. Hey, hey,

it. Hey, hey, watch it. Damn it.

Damn it.

Man. Viva, just shut up.

Okay. Damn it.

Just when he thinks something cool is about to happen, he starts showing off

strong he is.

Butthead, I don't want to hear you complaining on this video. It's about

only cool thing we've seen in a long time.

Beavis, don't ever take that tone with me.

Yeah, I want to disconnect my phone. Yeah, here we go.

Come on, write something.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, there you go. Yeah.

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