Original subtitles

Welcome to Hard Story.

Tonight we bring you another special report on breast implants.

For many women, a visit to the plastic surgeon means a larger, firmer, perkier

bust. Just take a look at these exclusive photos taken before and after.

Whoa.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Their singing's got bigger.

But is this operation worth the risk?

Should women get potentially dangerous implants just for the sake of, quote,

bigger thingies?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, go for it. Yeah, go for it. Yeah.

Hey,

Beavis. What?

We should go to one of those plastic surgeon dudes about, you know, making

thingies bigger.

Um, mine are, like, already big enough.

It's not worth the risk.

Not bigger boobs, dumbass.

Bigger, you know, thingies.

We could, like, get wiener implants.

Oh, yeah.

Cool.

Yes,

Pantera, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

But, uh, what's going on here?

Don't worry about it, it's a drive.

Baby. I like that. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Come on. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, put it.

Does this Pantera guy ever relax?

I don't think so.

This guy's dad must have kicked his ass when he was a kid.

Yeah, really.

He was like, damn it, Pantera, this beer is warm.

Get me another one.

Yeah.

He was like, you treat your stepmother with respect, Pantera.

Or you'll be sleeping in the street.

He's like,

damn it, Pantera, I told you to get out there and mow that lawn.

Oh, what's this?

Is that a tear, Pantera?

Oh, is Daddy's little girl upset?

I'm going to kick your ass in a next Tuesday. Now get out of here and quit

acting like a damn little girl.

Settle down, Beavis.

That was pretty cool.

He's in a session right now with a patient. Can I help you?

We're going to get Big Wiener.

Yes?

Uh, does this surgeon work on, uh, bones?

Well,

yes. He can change bone structure in extreme cases.

But he prefers to work with softer

tissues. Yeah, yeah, me too.

Good afternoon, Dr. Thoffer.

I go through a lot of Kleenex.

Uh,

we want to, like, change our, uh, bone structure.

Yeah, yeah, me too.

Good afternoon, doctor's office.

Um, yeah.

Hey, we were next, asswipe.

Oh, really?

You boys are next, huh?

Well, uh, well, well, I'm the doctor, so why don't you boys come on in?

Uh, okay.

So, how much smaller would you like? Uh, we want them bigger.

Yeah, we need bigger thingies.

Hmm, well, I've never done an enlargement. All my patients have either

a reduction in size or a slightly different shape.

Stupid. Yeah.

Size is everything.

Well, I suppose I could fashion something longer for you by breaking the

and adding an extension.

But it told me it's, like, not really a bone. Well, actually, it's cartilage,

which acts like a bone.

Mine acts like a bone in the morning sometimes.

Hmm. Well, are you experiencing any pain, any swelling, or any unusual

discharge?

Yeah, yeah, sometimes.

Beavis is becoming a man, sir.

Okay. Well, surgery is always risky, but I think in your case, any change would

probably be an improvement.

Um, yeah, but how could you tell all that just from looking at my nose?

Well, let's just say I've seen a lot of these little thingies in my line of

work. Oh, yeah.

Ow. Ugh.

Is this operation gonna stink or something?

No. In fact, you probably won't smell a thing for a couple weeks.

So how come you're holding my nose?

Please, don't talk.

Well, I think I'll break the cartilage in your nose and add an artificial

extension there. Your noses will be bandaged for at least a week afterwards.

Um, are you gonna have to touch her, Naz?

Because, like, if you do, could you get one of those, you know, female nurses to

do it?

Yeah, yeah, like maybe that chick out front.

Whoa.

Check out his unit.

Whoa, this chick is flat.

See that?

You see that unit? Yeah, yeah.

That means it's not a chick.

Oh, oh, yeah.

I wouldn't look at that.

I wonder what the most beautiful chick in the world looked like.

Uh, well, she'd have to be naked. Yeah, yeah. And she'd have to have boob.

Uh, yeah.

It'd also be cool if she had a butt, too.

Yeah, yeah.

That would rule.

And also, like, if her butt was naked.

Uh, yeah.

Well, you know, when I said she'd have to be naked, I meant, you know.

Down there?

Yeah.

Yeah, really.

You know, Beavis, I was looking at your mom naked once.

Really? How come you're naked?

You know, Beavis, your mom was naked. Oh, yeah.

You know how Prince is like searching for the most beautiful chick in the

Yeah.

Well, he doesn't need to go anywhere near your house.

Shut up, bro. I'm sick of you bad -mouthing my mom.

Mouthing?

Oh, yeah.

Mouthing.

Bad -mouthing.

This

sucks.

What?

Our wieners are bigger. Oh, yeah.

Mine look bigger, dude.

Yeah.

Me too.

Now I need a bigger hand.

Is that Jesus?

Hey, is that our Lord Jesus Christ?

Uh, no, I think it's Lenny Kravitz. Um, no, I think it's... Oh, it's Rush.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Invisible airwaves crackle with life. Bright and tender, we start with the

energy.

This guitar sounds kind of cool, though. Yeah.

If you happen to be a wuss.

A dude with dreadlocks and tattoos strapped to a chair.

That's a good idea for a video.

Didn't they do that before?

Yeah, but, like, this guy's on a pole.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Now, wait a minute, bud. I think they already did that, too. I thought dude,

like, strapped to a chair up on, you know, like on a pole.

Yeah, but he didn't have dreadlocks.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. He had tattoos, though.

Yeah, it's like... They've had dudes with dreadlocks strapped to a chair on a

pole, but they didn't have a tattoo.

And it's like, they had dudes with tattoos tied to a chair, but, like, they

weren't on a pole, and they didn't have dreadlocks. Yeah, I remember that, yeah.

So this is like, you know, all original and stuff.

Yeah, that's right, that's right.

Pole.

Pole.

I think I saw Lenny Kravitz tied to a cross once, too.

Oh, Beavis, that was Jesus.

Oh, yeah.

Who is this chick?

Uh, I don't know.

She looks like some chick you'd see hanging out in Kmart.

I think I've seen this chick before.

Yeah.

She did Prince.

Oh, really?

Well, at least that's something.

You know, they don't have to keep showing her just because she's singing.

Yeah, really.

Like, move down and show her butt or something.

Yeah.

Look at the stupid stuff she keeps doing with her face.

This chick is pretty dumb.

Yeah. And she's probably a slut, too.

Why do you think this chick, like, dresses up like a slut?

Prince makes sure that all his women look like sluts.

That's one thing I like about him.

Yeah.

He has a vision.

Me too.

Someday, all the girls in the world will all come unto me.

It's going to be cool.

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