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1
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On our watch.
2
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This is gonna be cool.
3
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Yeah.
4
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Morning wood.
5
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I saw a dog with morning wood once.
6
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:34,839
So, like, when you say you saw a dog
with morning wood, do you mean, like,
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had a wood drill or the dog did?
8
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:40,280
Um, we both did, I think.
9
00:00:42,180 --> 00:00:45,460
Check this out. Uh, do you have any
horses?
10
00:00:46,620 --> 00:00:48,740
No, we only have wild animals here.
11
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Uh, how about, like, really big dogs?
12
00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,080
Wild animals only.
13
00:00:59,820 --> 00:01:02,940
So, like, do you have any, uh,
woodpecker?
14
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:09,480
Woodpecker. Why don't you kids go annoy
the animals or something?
15
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,500
Is that the elephant chain?
16
00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:24,900
Uh, yeah.
17
00:01:25,140 --> 00:01:27,060
Wow. Boy, they sure look different.
18
00:01:27,940 --> 00:01:32,119
Uh... Maybe it's because I had to, like,
you know, clean themselves up, you
19
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know, because it's a slow song.
20
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:35,380
Yeah, I'll buy that.
21
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You remember that time we went to the
circus and we saw that clown?
22
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And then I, like, pulled down my pants.
23
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Whoa, check it out. I just saw a nipple,
but I didn't look.
24
00:01:48,660 --> 00:01:49,679
Where?
25
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:54,300
It was, like, right at the end of a
boob. See, that's just a puppet nipple.
26
00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:58,420
No, it wasn't. What do you mean?
27
00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,460
That's just like a chick made out of
clay, Beavis.
28
00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:02,910
Oh.
29
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,320
Yeah, but you got a nipple on it.
30
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:10,779
Beavis, I could go get some clay now and
make a boob with a nipple on it. So
31
00:02:10,780 --> 00:02:13,720
what? Wait a minute. Do you have some
clay?
32
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,010
No.
33
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:24,700
Next time they have a clay project in
school, I'm going to make a big boob.
34
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Maybe a butt, too.
35
00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:28,810
Yeah.
36
00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:31,560
Last time you just made an ashtray.
37
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It's fucked.
38
00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:36,750
Well,
39
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you made a baseball.
40
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,050
Oh, yeah.
41
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Then the teacher called me a lazy turd.
42
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So then you made that.
43
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Yeah.
44
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But not out of clay.
45
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Which is so long that the elephant uses
it to feed himself.
46
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That would be cool.
47
00:03:01,950 --> 00:03:03,000
Yeah.
48
00:03:03,390 --> 00:03:05,350
But I don't see it. Where is it?
49
00:03:05,590 --> 00:03:06,640
Where?
50
00:03:06,790 --> 00:03:09,650
His nose is, like, in the way.
51
00:03:10,450 --> 00:03:12,270
Are there any questions back there?
52
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:15,940
Yeah, yeah.
53
00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:20,410
Who has the biggest, you know, thingies?
54
00:03:21,530 --> 00:03:22,990
What do you mean?
55
00:03:23,310 --> 00:03:26,300
He means, like... Which animals have the
biggest thingies?
56
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:28,730
Well,
57
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I suppose it depends on what you mean by
thingies.
58
00:03:34,020 --> 00:03:35,980
Giraffes do have very long necks.
59
00:03:36,540 --> 00:03:39,850
Unfortunately, our giraffe is laid up
with a pulled groin muscle.
60
00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:45,230
Well,
61
00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:48,720
next on our tour is a gorilla.
62
00:03:50,410 --> 00:03:54,969
This animal's natural habitat is the
jungles of Central Africa, and his diet
63
00:03:54,970 --> 00:04:00,149
includes... Uh, when he's bad or
something, do you ever, like, have to
64
00:04:00,150 --> 00:04:01,200
your monkey?
65
00:04:02,690 --> 00:04:06,810
No, we don't permit any violence towards
any of our animals.
66
00:04:07,390 --> 00:04:11,469
As I was saying, the gorilla's diet
includes... Uh, because Beavis would be
67
00:04:11,470 --> 00:04:12,950
happy to spank his monkey.
68
00:04:13,530 --> 00:04:14,650
Shut up, Dillweed!
69
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:18,240
What, why?
70
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:22,979
Gentlemen, if you can't behave
yourselves, I'll have to ask you to
71
00:04:22,980 --> 00:04:26,000
tour. Uh, okay. Yeah, okay.
72
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:28,170
No problem.
73
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:35,459
The female zebra's reluctance to mate is
difficult to comprehend, since the male
74
00:04:35,460 --> 00:04:39,580
of the species is extremely well
-endowed, as you can see.
75
00:04:39,820 --> 00:04:40,870
Whoa.
76
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,050
Tours suck.
77
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:44,210
Yeah.
78
00:04:44,540 --> 00:04:46,620
They never talk about anything cool.
79
00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:55,099
All these animals must have been, like,
sprayed or something. Yeah, yeah. Then
80
00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:58,220
someone, like, cut their wieners off.
And their dads, too.
81
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,180
This zoo sucks.
82
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:03,860
Let's get out of here.
83
00:05:04,540 --> 00:05:05,590
Yeah, really.
84
00:05:08,660 --> 00:05:09,710
Whoa.
85
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:12,290
Snakes.
86
00:05:13,020 --> 00:05:14,070
Yeah, cool.
87
00:05:20,750 --> 00:05:22,250
Are they going to show a movie?
88
00:05:22,290 --> 00:05:24,470
We're in the snake home, fart knocker.
89
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,800
They have to keep it dark because of the
snakes.
90
00:05:28,730 --> 00:05:31,530
It, like, makes them scarier or
something. Oh, yeah.
91
00:05:33,890 --> 00:05:34,940
Cool.
92
00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:36,950
There's, like, snakes everywhere.
93
00:05:38,690 --> 00:05:44,010
Yeah. You know, I bet, like, lots of
chicks get real excited in this place.
94
00:05:45,310 --> 00:05:49,230
Especially if a snake, like, escapes
from its cage or something.
95
00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:53,810
Yeah. Yeah. They get all excited and go,
Snake!
96
00:05:54,210 --> 00:05:55,260
Snake! Snake!
97
00:05:55,390 --> 00:05:57,370
Did he say a snake escaped? Yeah.
98
00:05:57,990 --> 00:05:59,890
Escaped snake. Oh, my God. Where? Help!
99
00:06:21,710 --> 00:06:24,240
Old dude gets a pretty good sound out of
that banjo.
100
00:06:24,570 --> 00:06:25,620
You rock.
101
00:06:27,370 --> 00:06:28,420
Uh,
102
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:30,910
is this Skinner?
103
00:06:31,830 --> 00:06:35,010
No, wait. Hey, buddy, that's that guy
from that Ozzy video.
104
00:06:35,570 --> 00:06:37,830
Uh, what Ozzy video?
105
00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,430
Is that Ozzy video with that chick?
106
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:41,700
Oh, yeah.
107
00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:45,889
That one. You know that one, um, the one
with that chick, like, that's, like,
108
00:06:45,890 --> 00:06:47,570
drowning in all those, uh, tears?
109
00:06:47,770 --> 00:06:51,200
Mm -hmm. And they're like, you know,
like, he's got that guitar and he
110
00:06:55,571 --> 00:06:57,359
Oh, yeah.
111
00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:58,720
That was cool.
112
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:10,820
That old dude should start his own band.
113
00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:14,980
Yeah, yeah. It's like they could rock
out, and it's like they could go
114
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:16,490
Yeah.
115
00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:18,700
Fishing is cool.
116
00:07:19,260 --> 00:07:20,310
Yeah, yeah.
117
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:22,880
I like going fishing with worms.
118
00:07:22,881 --> 00:07:27,029
Because it's like you take the worm and
you put that worm blower in it and it'll
119
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,080
blow up its butt.
120
00:07:28,210 --> 00:07:29,890
What are you talking about, Viva?
121
00:07:29,891 --> 00:07:32,469
You know, yeah, like a little pump and
you stick them in the worm's butt. You
122
00:07:32,470 --> 00:07:33,269
know what I'm talking about.
123
00:07:33,270 --> 00:07:35,690
Uh, no, I don't, Viva.
124
00:07:36,130 --> 00:07:38,900
Yeah, yeah, it's like it makes them
float or something.
125
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:04,130
Let go, Beavis.
126
00:08:04,540 --> 00:08:05,800
Yeah, yeah, I got him good.
127
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,680
He's not that big.
128
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:09,290
Yeah.
129
00:08:09,460 --> 00:08:10,800
He's a pretty small snake.
130
00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:13,390
Help!
131
00:08:13,780 --> 00:08:14,830
Snake!
132
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:16,550
Hit the lights!
133
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,140
Quick, turn on the lights!
134
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:20,750
What the hell?
135
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:24,540
I thought you had him, dumbass.
136
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,340
You think you had him, butthole?
137
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,820
Uh, I think he, like, escaped or
something.
138
00:08:30,060 --> 00:08:31,240
Yeah, yeah, he got away.
139
00:08:31,460 --> 00:08:32,510
We had him, though.
140
00:08:45,390 --> 00:08:47,570
Uh, meet the Flintstones.
141
00:08:49,390 --> 00:08:52,730
Pleased to make your acquaintance.
Please say hello to my butt.
142
00:08:53,370 --> 00:08:54,420
Yeah.
143
00:08:54,830 --> 00:08:56,290
My butt rock.
144
00:08:57,110 --> 00:08:58,390
My rock butt.
145
00:09:03,980 --> 00:09:05,030
This is a Flintstone.
146
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:06,960
This is Roseanne. Oh, yeah, yeah.
147
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:08,900
Yeah, there's Roseanne, see?
148
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,420
That was Butt -San.
149
00:09:11,620 --> 00:09:12,670
Oh, yeah.
150
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,590
Hey, Butt -It, was this what the Stone
Age was really like?
151
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,580
No, it was more like Jurassic Park.
152
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,290
Yeah, special effects were better back
then.
153
00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:28,980
This is like intact, in -catch, in
-catch, in -catch, in -act, in -catcher.
154
00:09:33,119 --> 00:09:34,169
Yeah.
155
00:09:34,580 --> 00:09:39,139
If these were real cavemen, they'd,
like, have long hair and beards and
156
00:09:39,140 --> 00:09:42,579
be, like, sniffing each other's butts
and, like, beating each other up with
157
00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:45,230
rocks and, like, pulling women around by
their hair.
158
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:50,020
Really? Hey, buddy, I bet my Uncle
Louie's a caveman. Oh, yeah.
159
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,790
Do cavemen, like, have cars up on blocks
in their front lawn?
160
00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:56,140
Uh, I think so.
161
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,610
Yeah, yeah, that's him. He's a caveman.
Yeah.
162
00:09:58,611 --> 00:09:59,929
You know that.
163
00:09:59,930 --> 00:10:04,480
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