Original subtitles

He bought it. What was that?

Uh, maybe your bike's getting ripped off again.

Hi, girls.

Whoa. It's Todd.

Yeah.

Like, uh, hi.

You candy asses are sitting in my spot.

Move.

Uh, can we, like, sit over here on the floor?

Whatever.

Block my view and you're dead.

Cool. Yeah.

Whoa, it's Crowbar!

Oh, yeah.

They're always taking a dump.

Whoa.

He thought he gave his heart and soul to some shit.

That must have been like at least 50 pounds of meat.

Yeah.

This music is low and fat.

Isn't that the kind of music you have on a workout tape? If you're skinny and

you want to get fat?

Yeah.

Just like you put this on and then just like pig out.

And then every now and then you go, I gave my heart and soul to you.

Yeah.

And then you just sit there and get fat.

I think this is like a love song.

Yeah.

It's a love song, Tony White.

Did you see that guy?

Yeah, he really did. Must be his first concert.

His mom's waiting outside in the same class.

She said, okay, now what time is the concert going to be over?

That's what I want.

Can't nobody know where I am, okay?

So if anybody comes by looking for me, just play dumb.

Got it?

Uh... Um, this is all we got, sir.

Me and Butthead were gonna, like, eat it for dinner, but, um, you know, you can

have it.

You call this food?

Um, uh, what should I call it, sir?

Crap? Yeah, this is crap, Beavis.

Shut up, bunghole! This is your favorite food!

It used to be butt wipe.

Get the door, you turds! And remember, play dumb!

Where's Todd at?

Uh, we don't know. Like, we're dumb.

Yeah, but we're like in his gang and stuff, so you can talk to us.

That's cool. We got a message for Todd, so listen up.

Who was it? Uh, they said they, like, had a message for you, but then they

kicked our asses.

Yeah, we told them we were dumb.

Yeah, they probably didn't believe us. Uh, can we be in your gang now?

Shut up and fix the antenna.

Yeah, shut up, Beavis, and fix the antenna.

Yeah. Yeah.

Bikinis rule.

Damn it. Sit your ass down.

Yeah, Beaver. At least try to be cool.

Doughweed.

Shut up, ass munch.

I'm here with Tasha Lipton, four -time bikini tetherball medalist and truly one

of the classiest individuals in the entire world of bikini athletics.

Thanks, Brad.

Now get your hand off my ass.

Um, are we, like, ready to be in your gang yet, sir?

Listen, if you were really loyal, you'd have kicked those guys' asses. To be in

my gang, you gotta be more than just dumb.

Go get that.

Tell them I'm not here.

And bring some of those marshmallow things on the way back, or I'll stomp a

hole in your ass.

Whoa.

Todd's even cooler than we thought.

Boys, I'm looking for a fella who goes by the name of Todd.

Um, uh, he's not in here.

That's not what we heard.

Uh, sir?

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to kick your ass.

Yeah, and I'm gonna kick you in the nads.

Hey,

cut it out, pothole. I'll kick your ass.

I'm gonna kick you in the nads.

Todd's gonna be pissed we didn't get him those marshmallow crackers.

Um, what's wrong with this dude's hair?

Look who's talking, Beavis.

What are you talking about? There's nothing wrong with my hair.

My hair's cool.

Besides, that's not his hair, Beavis.

He's like wearing some kind of Davy Crockett hat or something.

No, wait, but that's his hair.

No, it's not, Beavis. It's like a squirrel or something.

Oh, yeah.

Whoa,

check it out, buddy. They got Crocodile Dundee in the band.

It's pronounced Dundee, Beaver.

Oh, yeah.

I didn't know he played.

Yeah.

He jams with midnight oil sometimes.

Oh, really?

He sounds better with these guys.

I'm glad to see you hooked up with a good band.

This dude's, like, getting on my nerves.

It's like, quit wiggling around and get me some gas.

Yeah, really.

And check the oil, dammit.

Yeah.

And wash my windows, butt -knocker.

Don't call him that, butthead.

Why not, butt -knocker?

Dammit, butthead, don't call me that. I told you that before.

Don't call him that either.

Oh, look, he's still got his jacket.

Settle down, Brian.

Yeah, that was pretty cool.

Hey, buddy, I might get a guitar.

Yeah.

Then in the morning, you could, like, just say, uh, I'm practicing.

I'm watching.

Yeah?

Well, don't drop the soap.

Uh,

soap?

Okay, follow me, girls.

So is Todd pissed?

Yeah.

And he wants us to stop telling people we know him because it, like,

him or something.

Oh, yeah.

He's cool.

And he wants us to bring him some food if we ever get out.

Home sweet home, punks.

Hey, it's those wussies from Todd's gang.

Uh, we're like dumb.

Yeah, and now I'm gonna kick your ass.

Whoa. That's the most naked I've ever seen a chick on TV.

Yeah. Yeah.

Except for that body spray commercial they play about 60 times a day.

Oh, yeah.

Those black boxes suck.

Whoa, is that the Women in Prison movie? Uh, yeah.

I think so.

All right, yeah, I'm up for this. Nothing like getting some nachos and

back and watching a good old women in prison movie.

Yeah.

Maybe this isn't a women in prison movie.

It's like they're singing and stuff.

Maybe this is like, you know, drama chicks in prison.

Cop Rock sucks.

Yeah, that show would have been better, but, like, you know, more fights and

brutality and stuff like that.

Yeah. It was just like, you know, cops, but without the rock.

You know, they're just like cops.

They're just cops. Yeah.

Could be a show about people copping a field.

Yeah.

I'd do that.

Yeah.

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