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1
00:00:05,859 --> 00:00:10,760
Steve, my career as a leading molecular
biologist seems far away.
2
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Yeah, but I'm not.
3
00:00:14,740 --> 00:00:16,059
Damn, you're smooth.
4
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,250
Whoa.
5
00:00:18,980 --> 00:00:20,640
We gotta get us one of those.
6
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You mean like a testicular biologist?
7
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No, dill hole, a beard.
8
00:00:27,180 --> 00:00:30,310
We don't score because chicks don't
think we're manly enough.
9
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,520
Oh, yeah. What if we had like a fake ID?
10
00:00:34,010 --> 00:00:36,550
No way, Beavis. A beard is better.
11
00:00:36,850 --> 00:00:38,710
It looks cool.
12
00:00:39,090 --> 00:00:40,950
You know, like ZZ Top.
13
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:42,870
Oh, yeah. Cool.
14
00:00:43,490 --> 00:00:44,770
So how do we get one?
15
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It's supposed to grow in, I guess.
16
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Uh -oh.
17
00:00:53,110 --> 00:00:58,030
Oh, damn it.
18
00:00:59,150 --> 00:01:00,200
Hey, buddy.
19
00:01:00,330 --> 00:01:01,690
Wasn't that ever cool?
20
00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,570
I think this might have been cool when
we were like five years old.
21
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:07,950
Oh, yeah.
22
00:01:08,220 --> 00:01:12,219
I think my mom used to like sing this
song like as a lullaby when I was going
23
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sleep.
24
00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:16,610
Really?
25
00:01:16,740 --> 00:01:17,790
Yeah.
26
00:01:20,820 --> 00:01:21,870
Whoa.
27
00:01:22,590 --> 00:01:24,510
These chicks look like real slut.
28
00:01:24,830 --> 00:01:27,540
Yeah, yeah. Like, I think these chicks
are really slut.
29
00:01:28,170 --> 00:01:29,220
Yeah, hey.
30
00:01:29,470 --> 00:01:30,520
Slut.
31
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Slut.
32
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Slut.
33
00:01:35,350 --> 00:01:38,540
You know what else? Like, these chicks
are all like sophomores.
34
00:01:38,910 --> 00:01:40,430
Yeah, that's cool.
35
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:49,550
Hey, Beavis, I just got an idea.
36
00:01:50,530 --> 00:01:51,580
What?
37
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:57,059
They should have a show, you know, like
Cop, only they should call it Flut, and
38
00:01:57,060 --> 00:02:00,080
they just, like, follow these Fluts
around with a camera.
39
00:02:00,081 --> 00:02:04,099
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, they could have,
like, Flut in Houston, and then, like,
40
00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:06,460
Fluts in Phoenix, you know, just like
Cop.
41
00:02:06,900 --> 00:02:08,520
I have a really good idea about it.
42
00:02:08,539 --> 00:02:09,589
Yeah.
43
00:02:10,539 --> 00:02:13,620
This guy keeps going, I want a woman.
44
00:02:13,621 --> 00:02:20,519
But it's like, I want a woman too, but
I'm not out there singing some crappy
45
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:21,570
song about it.
46
00:02:21,620 --> 00:02:24,120
Yeah, but it's like, so we want the
woman. So what?
47
00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:25,530
So does everybody.
48
00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:27,520
I do like the fluff.
49
00:02:27,820 --> 00:02:29,320
Yeah. That's cool.
50
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,040
Hey, butthead, how's my beard look?
51
00:02:36,420 --> 00:02:38,560
Uh, almost there, dude.
52
00:02:43,820 --> 00:02:44,870
How's it look now?
53
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,050
Yeah. Uh.
54
00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:49,370
Maybe we're supposed to, like, put water
on it.
55
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,580
How about now?
56
00:02:55,180 --> 00:02:56,860
Dammit, Beavis, it's not working.
57
00:02:56,861 --> 00:02:58,659
This sucks.
58
00:02:58,660 --> 00:03:00,380
We'll never score without beards.
59
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,140
Uh, well, there's something we could do.
60
00:03:03,900 --> 00:03:05,160
Yeah, spank our monkeys?
61
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:07,080
No, dumbass.
62
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:08,940
Just leave it to me.
63
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:11,770
Beards rule.
64
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Damn, you're smooth.
65
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,180
Ow! That hurt!
66
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,920
Hold still, asswipe.
67
00:03:21,820 --> 00:03:23,460
Don't mess up my hair, bunghole.
68
00:03:26,420 --> 00:03:27,470
Don't worry, dude.
69
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:29,240
I'm making you look cool.
70
00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:32,750
Whoa!
71
00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,710
I'm, like, even more cool looking than
normal.
72
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,760
Yeah. Okay, dude.
73
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:39,090
It's beard time.
74
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:46,000
Uh... Uh, words, uh, words, uh.
75
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:49,940
It's a view on wood.
76
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:53,860
Yeah. It's really cool.
77
00:03:55,260 --> 00:03:56,660
Uh, okay.
78
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,560
Now get the hair I cut off.
79
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:01,810
Oh, yeah.
80
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:04,480
Oh, yeah.
81
00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:06,840
Here we go. Right there.
82
00:04:08,270 --> 00:04:09,320
If I'm over there.
83
00:04:10,930 --> 00:04:11,980
Whoa.
84
00:04:12,790 --> 00:04:14,010
You look old.
85
00:04:15,850 --> 00:04:16,900
Cool.
86
00:04:17,010 --> 00:04:18,990
Get up, bath wipe. It's my turn.
87
00:04:20,130 --> 00:04:21,180
Okay.
88
00:04:21,430 --> 00:04:23,750
Like, uh, this one hurt a bit or
something.
89
00:04:29,950 --> 00:04:35,390
Check it out, dude.
90
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,180
I'm so smooth, I got a beard on my
hands.
91
00:04:39,660 --> 00:04:40,710
Yeah.
92
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,670
These chicks must not like dudes or
something.
93
00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:49,510
Relax, Beavis.
94
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:54,300
It's like they say, when you're gonna
walk the walk, you gotta, uh, talk too.
95
00:04:56,820 --> 00:04:58,320
What's that supposed to mean?
96
00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,640
We gotta hit on the chicks, Ass Munch.
97
00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:03,790
Otherwise, they'll think we're, like,
all looks.
98
00:05:09,670 --> 00:05:10,720
Hey, baby.
99
00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:14,660
Hey,
100
00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:15,980
baby.
101
00:05:17,190 --> 00:05:18,550
Check out my hands.
102
00:05:19,690 --> 00:05:21,630
Yeah. Damn, we're smooth.
103
00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:27,350
Wanna, like, stroke my beard?
104
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:30,780
Yeah.
105
00:05:30,970 --> 00:05:32,020
Stroke it.
106
00:05:32,510 --> 00:05:35,280
We're gonna call the cops if y 'all
don't leave us alone.
107
00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:37,800
That's fucked.
108
00:05:39,110 --> 00:05:40,730
Yeah. Whoa.
109
00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,850
Check out those chicks over there.
110
00:05:45,790 --> 00:05:47,950
Hey, baby.
111
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:50,800
Hey, baby.
112
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,000
Yeah.
113
00:05:52,530 --> 00:05:54,570
What's that crap all over you?
114
00:05:56,330 --> 00:05:57,870
It's like our beards.
115
00:05:58,630 --> 00:06:00,590
Yeah. Damn, we're smooth.
116
00:06:01,090 --> 00:06:04,730
Those aren't beards. You just glued some
hair on your faces.
117
00:06:05,150 --> 00:06:09,829
Don't you know that beards went out in,
like, the 80s? Uh, look. Do you chicks
118
00:06:09,830 --> 00:06:12,300
want to make out or do you just want to
play games?
119
00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:18,269
Why don't you boys lose the beards, cut
back on the wanking, and try us again
120
00:06:18,270 --> 00:06:19,320
in, like, ten years?
121
00:06:21,510 --> 00:06:22,560
Yes!
122
00:06:24,310 --> 00:06:25,550
Um, hey, buddy.
123
00:06:26,370 --> 00:06:28,230
How'd they know we've been whacking?
124
00:06:32,270 --> 00:06:33,830
Hey, that's too close. Back off.
125
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:35,850
Yeah.
126
00:06:36,780 --> 00:06:37,830
Hey,
127
00:06:39,820 --> 00:06:43,300
buddy. You think these guys are
European?
128
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:47,050
You're a peon. I'm a peon. Everybody's a
peon.
129
00:06:47,260 --> 00:06:50,460
It's like, we got enough crap over here
in this country.
130
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:52,970
Why do we need to go to Europe to get
more?
131
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,100
Yeah, yeah, really. That's a good point.
132
00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:00,880
I mean, you know, I want to watch
something that's like a piece of crap.
133
00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:05,200
It's like, you know, I'll just watch it
right here. You know what I'm saying?
134
00:07:05,740 --> 00:07:07,970
We're trying to act like you're smart,
Viva.
135
00:07:09,980 --> 00:07:11,030
Dumbass.
136
00:07:16,590 --> 00:07:17,640
He bought it.
137
00:07:17,850 --> 00:07:19,370
Ace of Bates sucks.
138
00:07:20,270 --> 00:07:23,770
This isn't Ace of Bates, Viva. I know.
139
00:07:23,970 --> 00:07:26,080
I just felt like saying Ace of Bates
sucks.
140
00:07:26,150 --> 00:07:30,110
I mean, these guys suck too, but you
know, like, Ace of Bates, ooh, they
141
00:07:30,421 --> 00:07:32,149
Like,
142
00:07:32,150 --> 00:07:40,529
in
143
00:07:40,530 --> 00:07:42,999
this video, there's really like nothing
going on.
144
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,359
They might as well just, like, play the
song on the radio.
145
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:47,950
Yeah, then you could just, like, turn
the radio off.
146
00:07:48,980 --> 00:07:51,040
Oh, yeah, hey, then it'd be even better.
147
00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:56,279
If it was, like, just the chick and the
music, you know, that part would be all
148
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:57,330
right.
149
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:00,370
Hurry up, dude.
150
00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:03,130
We've got to look good for those chicks
in ten years.
151
00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,020
Yeah, beards went out in the 80s.
152
00:08:06,340 --> 00:08:07,390
Yeah.
153
00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:09,800
I know it's in here somewhere.
154
00:08:10,630 --> 00:08:13,470
Okay, like, uh, hold still and, like,
don't move.
155
00:08:14,530 --> 00:08:16,270
Yeah. Here we go.
156
00:08:20,650 --> 00:08:22,310
You half -wife.
157
00:08:22,930 --> 00:08:25,330
Whoa. You look really cool now.
158
00:08:26,570 --> 00:08:27,620
Damn, you're smooth.
159
00:08:31,701 --> 00:08:33,709
Yeah, yeah.
160
00:08:33,710 --> 00:08:35,870
Da -da. Da -da -da -da. Yeah, yeah,
yeah.
161
00:08:35,971 --> 00:08:41,038
You see that chicks flying all over each
other? Yeah.
162
00:08:41,039 --> 00:08:42,089
Fight, fight.
163
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,740
Whoa. Check this out, buddy.
164
00:08:43,741 --> 00:08:47,159
It's like, it starts out pretty cool,
and it's like, it starts rocking more
165
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,159
more. Watch, watch. Check it out. Here
it comes.
166
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:52,280
Okay. Yeah, it's right here. It's right
here. Here it comes.
167
00:08:56,100 --> 00:09:00,360
I get the point, Beaver.
168
00:09:01,980 --> 00:09:03,900
Will you shut up so I can hear it? Yeah.
169
00:09:16,159 --> 00:09:20,779
I think that's, like, one of those beds
that, like, folds into a couch. Oh,
170
00:09:20,780 --> 00:09:21,830
yeah, yeah.
171
00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:25,420
How come he sold it?
172
00:09:25,421 --> 00:09:28,999
Because he probably got, like, a big
bed, so he didn't need it anymore.
173
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:29,539
Oh, yeah.
174
00:09:29,540 --> 00:09:32,359
Maybe he got tired of, like, people,
like, just crashing in his house and
175
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,620
sleeping on it. So he sold it.
176
00:09:34,990 --> 00:09:37,460
And then it's like, you wrote a cool
song about it.
177
00:09:37,890 --> 00:09:39,270
Oh, my fault, John.
178
00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:40,840
Yeah.
179
00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:43,889
And then you had a bunch of fights
happen in the video.
180
00:09:43,890 --> 00:09:46,489
Yeah. Yeah, come on. You want to do
something about it? You think you're
181
00:09:46,490 --> 00:09:48,230
Come on, let's go. Come on, right now.
182
00:09:48,270 --> 00:09:51,340
I don't think there's anybody on TV that
you could kick ass on.
183
00:09:51,770 --> 00:09:55,370
Except for, like, maybe Urkel. I don't
know about it.
184
00:09:55,770 --> 00:09:56,910
Urkel's pretty big now.
185
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,670
He's like 6 '7 or something.
186
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:03,270
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