All language subtitles for Very Important People s01e06 Tommy Shriggly.eng

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Original subtitles

Hi, I'm Zach. I feel pretty relaxed, but also like the floor is about to fall

out from under me and I'm going to start skydiving. It does seem like they're

really going for it from what I've gathered from all the equipment around

Today we're giving this comedian a total transformation.

They have no idea who or what they're about to become.

I feel like I'm wearing one of those like airplane neck pillows.

Once they see themselves in the mirror.

They'll have to make up the character on the spot and then sit down with me for

an improvised interview.

This is very important, people.

I don't know what I'm holding now. Are they hooves?

Oh, my God.

I thought I was like a fool.

This is so scary.

I feel so grossed out.

Oh, I didn't even notice my tiny ears.

That makes so much sense. I've been going around talking to people and going

like, by the way, I basically can't hear.

Hey guys, what's going on? Today we're going to be lifting and we're going to

get huge.

Can you believe it? My hands used to be this small.

Hey guys, I'm Tanner and I'm 12 years old. My mom says I'm starting puberty.

President, the asteroid's going to hit in 17 minutes.

Circle up.

Presidential fitness test is coming right up. Use my protein. I guarantee

you will be sweating out all the toxins in your body, and you'll feel good about

yourself. I have depression.

I'm a normal guy, and I'm here to tell you that being mentally healthy is cool.

We all have a story, and some stories need to be shared with the world.

Good evening. I'm Vic Michaelis, back with another edition of Very Important.

Can I get a little clap? Can I get a little clap?

Can I get a little clap? Can I get a little clap?

Wow, that was...

Wonderful, actually.

Pumping up the energy of the room. I'm seeing a lot of smiles.

You're seeing smiles?

Sorry? They got masks on.

You know, sort of a metaphorical.

And so, you know, you can see people's eyes. What is your name?

My name is Tommy Shrigley, and I'm here to talk about mental health.

Tommy, that is so important. You just sort of radiate an energy.

Thank you. Have you always been told that?

No, not always. When did people start telling you that?

About 10 years ago, I changed my life.

Really? I started thinking about positivity.

I started feeling like something's got to change.

Okay. And I found it.

Where did you find it?

I found it in my head.

I found it in my heart.

I found it in the world. In the world.

That is absolutely incredible. And your story is long and expansive. You

actually used to be in the military, that's correct? I was in the military

six years.

Right. Dishonorably discharged.

Why did they discharge you?

I attacked the wrong side.

A friendly fire situation? Friendly fire situation.

I was at the canteen. One of the guys took the last Coke and they were like,

got Coke Zero.

A lot of anger.

Listen, I'm trying to get past that time in my life. I see. And so that was a

bad beat.

For old -timey sugary.

These are ten years ago.

Ten years ago. Oh, yeah, take a sip.

Ten years ago, dishonorably discharged from the military.

This caused her going to jail. And I was feeling really lost. I mean, my uncle's

a general, and, you know, I will say, having some family connections helped.

Sure. And it was just feeling like I just didn't have anywhere to go.

Yeah. Now, Tommy, you got everybody smiling ear to ear here. I can tell.

Well, it's sort of more of a feeling, and I know them, so I would know that.

And so you really have made it your life's mission to make people feel

Is that correct?

Absolutely. You know, like I said, about 10 years ago, I was feeling really down

in the dumps about, you know, taking out my own platoon.

You took out your entire platoon?

And we're getting past it. Okay. And I was just not feeling good about who I

was. And I found that.

Hey, you don't got to sit in the dumps. No. You got to get out of the dumps.

Yeah. Are you in the dumps? Am I in the dumps?

I, um, you know. Be honest with yourself, Vic.

I watched the show.

Are you down in the dumps? Do you watch this show?

I watch it. Where?

I tore in it. You tore in the show?

I tore in the show. But you watched all of it? Watched all of it. Do you think

I'm doing a good job?

I think you got to get your head out of your ass.

Okay? And I say that with love.

Okay. You got to give yourself a little clap.

Come on, get a little clap.

Come on, everybody, let it clap. Okay. Come on, everybody, give it a clap.

clap. Come on, everybody, give it a clap. Okay.

Come on, everybody, give it a clap.

Okay. Come on, everybody, give it a clap.

Come on, everybody, give it a clap.

Ten push -ups.

Me? Yeah. I don't know if I could do ten push -ups. Get your head out of your

ass. Come on.

Okay. All right. Oh, okay.

Oh, you're doing them on there.

Watch this. Watch this. This is it.

Get out. Bad feelings.

Okay.

Okay.

Get out.

Negativity.

Get out.

Negativity.

Get out.

Get out. Get out. Get out.

I'm going to let you finish these ones up.

Tommy, are you okay?

Tommy, you don't have to finish this. You know? We get the idea. You don't

to finish push -ups. Ten. Ten?

I can see that you're happy, and that's pretty exciting.

Now, you mentioned something earlier, sort of, that you have to be healthy in

your mind, and you have to be healthy in your spirit and in your heart, right?

And physically healthy.

We were just hoping maybe we could sort of go through those three steps to

happiness. I think our viewers would be very interested in figuring out how to

be a little healthier themselves. Yeah?

Yeah.

Let's start with our mind. How about that? So we have one of your patented

here. So if we can go ahead and take a look. So Tommy, I'm going to hand that

right on over to you.

Sorry.

So one part of getting out of your head.

Sure. Or getting out of your mind.

Get off that dang phone. I found that you got to keep your hands busy.

Yeah. You got to find ways to distract.

The busy brain. Well, because that's it, right? I find when I'm not around my

phone, I'm just thinking about my phone.

Look at this.

Look what I made. Did you just knit that? Yeah.

Wow, that is something.

And what is it?

It's the road. What do you mean by that? It's a very short, short, short length.

Road?

Also known as the path.

What do you mean by that?

You see, right now I'm in one square.

Okay? Okay.

And I don't know where to go next. Sure.

But I know if I keep plugging away, if I keep knitting it, that road's going to

appear.

That road's going to be a step ahead of me.

And there's one more step and one more step.

Go on, step.

Okay. And then we're dancing again.

Come on, everybody, give me a little clap. Come on, everybody.

Come on, come on. Tommy, you're sweating profusely. How are you feeling?

I'm feeling good. I'm feeling great. Because this is about positivity, you

So we got our mind right.

We got our mind right. You mentioned getting your heart right.

Do you have love in your life now? Did you have love in your life before?

You know, love comes and goes.

And it doesn't matter if you have 9, 10, 16 divorces. Do you have 9, 10?

16 divorces? It doesn't matter.

If you have 9, 10, or 16. Do you have 16 divorces, Tommy? You can have 17. You

can have 18. Do you have 18 divorces, Tommy? If you have 18 divorces, you've

to keep your eye on who is going to be the 19th person that you marry and you

keep in your life.

Okay.

Do you have a 19th person that you have your eye on? I mean, I'm always looking.

I'm on the app.

But I... Hey, listen. Listen. I'm here to talk about mental health.

Right. You do keep saying that, which is amazing because as we were talking

about hearts and whether or not we have or have not been divorced, your heart,

some people view their heart as a very spiritual thing, yes?

We heard you have a little something that helps with spirituality. Is that

Something that really keeps you on the right path.

Okay. Oh, well, thank you.

And so these, here we go.

Okay. Oh, sorry.

Sorry. Do you need some help? Do you want me to pick these up? No, they're

there. Okay.

So these are my grandfather's books on positivity.

He was the first self -help guru that this world has ever seen. Well, that is

just incredible.

Page number, go.

Uh, 174.

Do you need a little bit of help, Tommy?

Oh, okay.

That's close enough.

178. Okay.

What did it say?

Okay.

Thank you. Oh, thank you so much.

Got it.

He can grab those. You don't need to. Okay. Oh, we're not allowed to throw

things at PAs anymore.

It's just a friendly game to toss.

So do you have a sort of a framework of spirituality for yourself? Do you have

something that you believe in outside of yourself?

My other self.

What do you mean your other self?

Outside of you is another self. When you look in a mirror and you catch it,

sometimes it's looking at you when you're not looking like a toy from Toy

That's the other self.

And you got to find it and you got to chase it. So you sort of believe in like

shadow dimension.

It just feels like if you can own the negativity, then you're living in the

positive.

And when you're living in the positive, that's your best self. You can't truly

live a life without a little bit of negativity, right?

Tommy?

Just pull him back up. Oh, sure.

I got kicked back. I think you're avoiding the question. You know,

have to have negative things in order to grow as a person.

You know what? Hey, if you weren't dishonorably discharged after killing

platoon in the canteen... One by one in the dead of the night.

So it seems like somebody from your platoon said that there was no coke,

drank all of it, and there was only coke for your left. And so you hunted them

down one by one in the middle of the night. Am I getting that correct?

When we're looking at what literally happened, that's what happened.

And then you weren't charged because your uncle is a general. General.

So that's obviously... That was my darkest moment.

Okay. As dark as it gets.

Right. I had to find a way out of that.

Come on, everybody. Come on, give me a little clap. Come on, everybody.

Hey. Okay.

You at home?

Not feeling good?

Get out of your ass.

Sometimes bad things happen and you have to deal with them, right? You can't

just fight your way out with...

Not if you have an uncle. Okay. So to continue on, your entire platoon, your

uncle helps you. Yeah.

How does that lead you to the power of positivity? That moment 10 years ago

led you to choose to live this life?

I found $100 ,000.

You found $100 ,000?

Yeah. Where?

In the park. Where in the park?

By the swing set. Did you lose $100 ,000 in the park? In the bag.

Did you know it was going to be there? No.

Why were you in the park?

I was working out. Okay, so then what did you do with $100 ,000?

I invested it, and then I turned it into $16 ,000.

Tommy, you invested $100 ,000.

Tommy, you invested $100 ,000.

Tommy, you turned $100 ,000 into $15 ,000?

And then from there, everything was gravy.

It sounds like that $16 ,000 is what you use to start your new company.

Exactly. And that new company really embodies that third tenant and sort of

most important tenant to you, it seems like, which is physical health.

Physical health. And so we have a little something.

There we go.

Okay, so I'm just going to tell you what I'm looking at here. This looks like

a... Protein powder, perhaps, something like that. Yeah, it's got everything you

need. I want to say that this is sort of a construction paper label, and then

underneath it looks like a Kirkland brand. And $16 ,000 reward.

Okay, so I'm going to go ahead and give this to you, and maybe you can tell the

folks about this protein powder.

If you're at home and you're not feeling good and you're trying to figure out

how to get it right, you've got to support your mental health, you've got

support your physical health.

And that's why... Yeah, why don't you go ahead and show the folks the product?

That's why...

That's why we got this new clean energy. Yeah.

Okay. It's got vitamin C.

It's got vitamin D.

Ooh.

It's got... It's got all you... Did I say vitamin A?

Look at that.

Are you just eating it loose?

I don't like to do a whole scoop. I like to do daps. Okay. As the day goes on.

And you don't even need water with it. That's what I discovered.

Water's bad for you, by the way. Okay, you don't have to. Right. You're

Tommy.

Listen, you got to get out of your own way.

Do you feel like you're in your own way?

Answer honestly.

Are you in your own way?

Yeah.

Wow. I didn't even know I was going to say that. Sounds like your mind's not

right. So it seems like you need to get your body right. Oh, wow. You trust me.

I mean, as well as I can trust anyone, I suppose.

Okay. I need you to believe in yourself.

Okay, yeah, I believe in myself.

Isn't that better?

Isn't that better?

Don't you feel better?

Don't you feel a lot better now?

Don't you feel good?

Don't you feel better?

Don't you feel a lot better?

I feel better.

Do you feel better?

So much better.

Yeah. So much.

Yeah.

Do I look better?

You look good.

Yeah. I'm feeling better, actually.

Yeah. Can I have a little more? Yeah.

Awesome.

Wow.

You must feel a lot better.

Listen.

I was not expecting this. Huh?

Listen, I wasn't totally expecting this, but I actually am feeling much better.

Yeah. It feels good. It feels good to just take care of your body. I'm also

feeling maybe that this is cementing my airways.

Yeah.

It's all stuck in my teeth.

It's like I have one big tooth on the top and one big tooth on the bottom.

it's sort of congealing, which I think is maybe part of the issue when you

add water.

Yeah. Water's bad for you, but you can drink it if you have to. Well, Tommy, if

you...

Well, Tommy, if you don't mind me saying, I'd love to see how you're going

clean this one up. Thank you so much.

It's actually not helping at all.

I sort of caked on my teeth.

This is what you were talking about earlier.

You got to get out of the negativity before you can get into the positivity.

I think you're right. You killed 12 people that round you at the canteen. Do

think? Yeah.

So this protein powder is in stores across the country, is that correct?

Seattle to Florida, we're in nine stores all across this great country of ours.

Absolutely incredible, wonderful. And actually, you recently produced an

infomercial, is that true?

Yes, I did. Okay, well, let's go ahead and take a peek at that.

Hey, is your head stuck up your ass?

Try a new Haze Protein Clean Energy that will give you the energy you need to

feel like you, to be you, to be everything you want to be. In Seattle

Florida, buy it today. Haze Protein.

Ow. Wow.

Absolutely incredible.

Give me your address. It's in the mail.

Oh, no.

Don't worry about it. You know, I got this one and I feel like I have tried

plenty. You can find anyone's address.

What do you mean?

Just online.

Right. I googled Barack Obama.

Found his address.

His current address or his address from when he was living in the White House? I

feel like everyone has that address. Which one's Penn?

The White House. Oh, okay. So he moved.

Never mind.

Now, Tommy, I was hoping I could ask you some rapid -fire questions. Is that all

right? Yeah.

Who is your celebrity crush?

Wanda Sykes. Oh, good choice.

What is your greatest strength?

My greatest strength is I can run a mile in nine minutes. Have you always been

able to do that, or is that new?

That's new. It used to be like 11.

Moving on.

What is your biggest weakness?

Two miles, 35 minutes.

Your biggest weakness is running two miles in 35 minutes? Yeah. I really

at one mile. So you can run one mile in nine minutes and two miles in 35

minutes. And that's sort of standard every time you run? I'm gassed after the

first mile. Well, what about three miles?

16 minutes.

So, wait.

If you decide to run three miles, you can do it in 16 minutes. I have to know

ahead of time. If you decide to run three miles, you can do it in 16

16 minutes. But if you're doing two, it's 35. 35. And one, it's nine minutes.

Nine minutes.

Dare I ask for?

I've never tried it. So maybe that's your next challenge.

Okay.

It's really everywhere.

Dream job if money weren't a factor. Being in the military.

Is your entire family military or just your uncle? My uncle, my dad,

my mom was a pilot.

In the military?

No. Why?

What branch were you? Can I ask?

I mean, that's very impressive, and thank you for your service.

You're welcome. And shame on you for killing all those people.

We don't have to live in the negativity.

This is a question that I ask each and every one of my guests.

Okay.

What is the meaning of life?

That's the question, you know?

That's the real question. Sure.

Is life about...

Money. It's life about power. It's life about finding $100 ,000 on the ground.

It's life about the people you meet along the way. It's life about the

It's life about becoming who you were meant to become.

What it means.

That's kind of like I'm being vulnerable. I mean, honestly, that's

what life is about in a lot of ways. What is life about to you, though, Vic?

What is life about to me? What is life about to you? When are you going to get

your head out of your ass?

My head's not up in my ass. Listen, I have heard so many people answer this

question, and at the end of the day, I think the purpose of life is finding

the purpose of life is to you.

You're onto something.

What is that?

It's a gift.

For me?

It's the meaning of life.

And I think you'll find that it resonates with all of us.

Come on, everybody.

Give me a little clap.

What does that say?

What does it say?

It says, come on, everybody, give me a little clap. I'm just wondering if

everybody heard what that says. It says, come on.

Come on, everybody. Give me a little clap. Come on, everybody.

Give me a little clap. Come on, everybody.

Give me a little clap. Come on, everybody.

Give me a little clap. Come on, everybody.

Just give me a clap. Come on, everybody.

Just give me a little clap. Come on, everybody. Just give me a clap. Come on,

everybody. Just give me a clap. Come on, everybody.

Just give me a little clap. Come on.

Come on.

All right. Everybody, that is our show. I've been Vic McHale. It's reminding you

to be true to yourself unless you'd rather be somebody else. Good night.

I think I could do about 50 of these now.

Is that $100 ,000?

No, where?

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