Original subtitles

♪ I don't know how to tell you ♪

♪ I don't want to go home ♪

♪ No, no, oh, no, no No! ♪

So I'm guessing you haven't told Sophie

and Elijah you're leaving at the end of the semester.

No, and I'm having a full-on anxiety attack about it.

I'm a fritzing mess.

[sighs] Exhibit A.

You need to tell them.

I know it's hard.

But lying to your friends clearly isn't helping things.

I'm not lying.

I'm just

not saying the truth out loud.

But I'm saying it in my head.

And there, I'm incredibly honest.

[sighs] Okay.

- You're right. - Say that again.

I need to record this.

I'm gonna tell Sophie first.

I just have to find the perfect time.

♪ How will I know? ♪

♪ It's the perfect time ♪

[grunts]

Super Strength Fritz, seems like the perfect time is now.

Sophie, I have news.

I have news too. Can I go first? Thanks!

Say hello to Mr. Sparkles.

And this is your cousin?

I don't know how humans work.

Mr. Sparkles is my family pet. I asked my parents to send him

because I've been missing him so much.

I really don't do well with separation.

Really? I mean,

you're at boarding school

and you seem to be doing okay.

Yeah, but only because you're here.

Boy, if you weren't here...

Whoa! Could you imagine?

So, what did you want to tell me?

Uh.

That I want to have an impromptu dance party.

Me too! See?

This is why we make the best roommates.

I want this to last forever.

♪ Everything is better When we're together ♪

♪ Slay, S-L-A-Y ♪

♪ Stepping out Into the light ♪

♪ I have never felt so alive ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ S-L-A-Y ♪

♪ Watch me shine, Shine, shine ♪

♪ Slay! ♪

I can't believe you still haven't told them.

I'm going to tell them right now.

Get off my tombstone!

[all] Surprise!

On second thought, maybe later.

Thank you!

You remembered it's my death day!

Uh, no, but congrats, I think?

I actually have something very important to ask V.

Vampirina Bubonica Hotly, will you be...

Be Mr. Sparkle's Godmother! I'm gonna be the Godfather?

Blabbermouth, keep it up and you're gonna be demoted to God uncle.

Here. The bunny ears were Sophie's idea.

No, they weren't.

What do Godparents do exactly?

First and foremost, we're going to

spoil him rotten.

All your drip is going to be 24-karat bling bling.

A bunny's Godparents help guide him

and take care of him if anything happens to me.

They are people I can trust to be there

for his whole life.

Ah, yes, his whole life!

Which in your estimation is longer or shorter than the end of the semester?

Mr. Sparkles could live to be 12.

He'll definitely be with us all our years at Wilson.

Prom, senior pictures, graduation!

Ooh, we get to shop for our little tux!

Uh, uh, [clears throat] You know, a cool one.

Have you considered asking Britney?

She seems... nurturing?

Are we talking about the same Britney?

I'm kidding! Of course I'll do it because,

duh, we're gonna be together forever.

Family photo!

We're gonna be the best Godparents ever! Bunny pie!

That's okay, we'll work on it.

[♪ Upbeat music playing]

Our a cappella group just isn't getting the love it deserves lately.

Last open mic night, no one even stayed to see us.

They all left after the amazing faculty barbershop quartet sang.

I only hate them because I want to be them.

We have to up our game.

How can we be less popular than the people who still

check their emails on laptops?

Wait, do you see that picture? I've never noticed it before.

Dean Merriweather is posing with the members of En Rogue.

- Who's En Rogue? - They were a very popular girl group

in the late nineteen hundreds.

And according to this article headline,

Dean Merriweather was one of the founding members.

Dean Merriweather was a former pop girl group performer?

Now it makes sense.

You don't get that much confidence with all that fabulous hair alone.

It could really plus up our show to have a star in our midst.

[clears throat]

Another star in our midst.

Off to class you go. [Chuckles]

Dean Merriweather.

We were just wondering if you'd join us in our next Wakapella show.

There's a solo you'd be perfect for.

Oh, you want me to sing?

A little birdie told us you have talent.

Well, that little birdie has a big mouth, but he's right.

And the student body could learn a lot from a seasoned

performer like you.

I could use a little less stank on the word seasoned.

But they could.

We're really trying to show up at the faculty barbershop quartet.

Ooh. Every Friday, one of them takes my tuna fish sandwich.

Miss Kern says it wasn't her, but her breath says otherwise.

So, what do you say?

Oh, well, let me think about it.

All done. I'm in.

That barbershop quartet is going down like they're students' test scores.

[all laughing]

Actually, it's a very serious problem.

I probably shouldn't be joking about it.

Mr. Sparkles, I could really use a hug.

Sophie says you're really good at cuddling, and I...

Well... You are really good at this.

I know I should tell Sophie and Elijah I'm leaving,

but it's so hard.

And if I tell them, that'll make it real.

And I don't want it to be real.

I know.

What if I don't say anything and just disappear?

Uh, yeah.

Kind of like that.

Okay, hide and seek is over.

Come out!

God mama is not amused!

Oh, no!

Mr. Sparkles!

Come back!

Now I really need a hug!

Okay, everybody, welcome our new secret weapon to the group.

Dean Merriweather.

[hoarsely] I'm happy to be here.

I'm saving the pipes.

- Let's run your solo. On my mark. - Hmm-hmm. Let's go.

[blows horn]

[all vocalizing]

♪ Doo-dah Dah, dah, dah, doo-dah ♪

♪ Doo-dah Dah, dah, dah, doo-dah Dah, dah, dah ♪

- That was your entrance. - Was it?

Oh, I was enjoying listening to you so much I must have missed it.

Hit me again.

[blows horn]

[all vocalizing]

[hoarsely] Lip gloss. Rip jeans. Lip gloss.

♪ Dreams in your backpack With your ripped jeans ♪

Dreams.

♪ Dreams in your leather When you match the... ♪

Dean Merriweather.

Maybe you need to warm up a bit more.

Oh, good idea.

[vocalizing out of tune]

Rip jeans.

I've never heard sounds like that.

I have. In my nightmares.

♪ Ripped jeans ♪

Oh, there she is. There she is.

♪ Ripped jeans ♪

Mr. Sparkles?

Mr. Sparkles?

[sighs] Hop out, hop out wherever you are.

Hey, there's my God bunny.

I've got lettuce and a radish medley.

Oh, this play date is gonna be hoppin'! Whoo!

Oh, no. Uh-uh.

- Don't you say... - Mr. Sparkles is missing.

No! I triple-washed this lettuce.

I've looked everywhere, but I can't find him.

Sophie must be worried sick.

She would be, if she knew.

V, you have to tell her the truth.

I can't.

I don't want to worry her for no reason.

I'll find him. I just need a little more time.

There might be another option.

You've been holding out on me with a vampire time machine.

Please take me to see the dinos.

What if we tell Sophie that you really want to bond

with your new God bunny

and you turn your play date into a sleepover?

That would buy me some time.

So there is no time machine. And do you want me to lie?

Co-parenting with you? Not a good idea.

Look who's back from his sleepover.

Mr. Sparkles. Mama Mr. Funny Bunny.

- Yes, she did. - [growling]

Did he growl?

Oh, he's probably just hangry.

You're right. I'll give him a snack.

- Here you go. - [snarling, grunting]

Whoa! He's never done that before.

What?

That just looks like normal hungry bunny behavior to me.

[burps]

Well, better out than in, I always say.

Let's go get breakfast.

We're dropping out of the open mic night?

I ripped my jeans for nothing?

We didn't have a choice.

Two of our members are out with, um, sore throats.

Yeah, they ba-ba-ba. Too close to the sun.

Shoot, I was so looking forward to our performance.

We all were. But these things happen.

And it's best to just accept it and move on without any investigation.

Well... Of course, there'll be other opportunities down the road.

Oh, perhaps I could join the faculty barbershop quartet.

We'd love that.

But, uh, darn it. Quartet means just four.

Our loss. Hmm.

Fine.

But don't be eating my tuna sandwiches anymore, Kern.

I can smell the guilt on your breath.

[exhales]

[♪ Soft music playing]

Here, bunny! Bunny, bunny, bunny, bunny.

Where are you?

Hey, I heard you found Mr. Sparkles.

Yeah, it all worked out.

Let's just accept it and move on without any investigation.

V, what did you do?

Okay. I went on the underworld wide web and found a business with, well,

mixed reviews, but free express shipping.

And replaced Mr. Sparkles with a Pooka from Transylvania.

You replaced my God bunny with a Pooka?

- Isn't that a... - A temperamental, shape-shifting monster

that can change into literally anything it interacts with

or even sees a picture of? Yes, it is.

Technically accurate, but we could fix our tone.

You better have an assignment, V.

When there's a Pooka without a clear job to do,

it can shapeshift all the way to the top.

You don't want another Pooka president, do you?

Another?

It's not a forever solution, okay?

We will find Mr. Sparkles.

V, first, you need to be honest with Sophie.

In fact, you should be honest with everyone.

About everything!

For the moment, I prefer to lie.

Now, are you guys gonna help me look for this rabbit or not?

If we're gonna do it, we're gonna do it right.

We need ten pounds of arugula and a portable speaker.

Got it. What are you gonna play?

If you loved him like I do, you'd know. Go!

[♪ Dramatic music playing]

- What are you doing? - Whoa!

I'm making a floor salad.

I'm glad you're here because I'm worried about Mr. Sparkles.

He's been acting strange all day.

Oh? How so?

It's hard to describe.

There's just a lot of...

[grunting, snarling]

What he said.

[snarling, chittering]

He's probably just upset because he's having a baby.

He's having a baby?

Oh, my darkness!

Mr. Sparkles shouldn't be able to do that.

[liquid flows]

And the baby shouldn't have horns.

Who is this pregnant impostor?

V, look who I found!

Oh, Mr. Sparkles!

He was hiding under the... Oh, Hazel.

If this is Mr. Sparkles,

who or what is giving birth right now?

[barks, snarls]

[chittering]

There you go, the real Mr. Sparkles.

Do you have something you wanna tell me?

You're the worst. This best Godfather koozie is a lie.

It's not Elijah's fault.

I took Mr. Sparkles out of his cage and he ran away.

And then I replaced him with

a shape-shifting Pooka from Transylvania.

I don't know what that is, but I am not happy about it.

I was just trying to protect you.

By losing my bunny and then replacing him with a polka monster?

[both] Pooka.

Whatever.

Best friends don't lie to each other like that.

[snarling]

[all screaming]

[snarling]

- Why is there another Elijah? - Yeah, her question.

It's not Elijah.

It's the baby Pooka.

[snarls]

[both scream]

And it can become anything!

[snarling, laughing]

I don't run like that, do I?

Not all the time.

Come on, we gotta catch it, or this could cause a Pooka-pocalypse.

[snarling, laughing]

- Get back here. Come on. - Wait, wait.

[indistinct conversation]

[snarling]

[all exclaiming]

[both screaming]

What?

[snarls, laughing]

Ooh!

[guitar strumming]

[chittering, snarls]

[laughing]

[exclaims]

[grunting]

Don't tell the dean, the open mic is still on.

You coming to support?

[snarls]

[chittering]

Wow, you could just say no.

[snarls, grunts]

Honestly, this might be my favorite version of Britney.

Okay, on three.

- [groans] - Three!

Oh! We got it!

[chittering]

Okay, you and Mama Pooka are getting sent back.

And Dirt's Pooka Paradise is getting zero stars!

Do I want to know?

Then carry on.

Five, six, seven, eight.

[all vocalizing quietly]

♪ Doo-dah, doo-dah ♪

Stop, stop, stop. Lacey, we're trying to hide from the dean.

Not the correct pitch.

Now again.

- But better. - [knocking at door]

Who is it?

[Merriweather] Are you rehearsing in there without me?

Everybody hide!

What's going on in here?

It's nothing personal, Dean.

But you can't sing well enough for the solo.

Huh, I don't think you know what "nothing personal" means.

- We're sorry. - No, don't be.

I mean, it makes sense.

I've had no formal training, and the last time I sang in the shower,

I was evicted from my apartment.

But I don't get it. You were a member of En Rogue.

You know about that? I was a dancer.

[all] Oh.

But you hit a diva in the head with a baton one time.

So you're not upset?

No.

I mean, I was really looking forward to performing,

but I just appreciate you kids giving me the chance.

Wait, Dean.

Yes?

I'm sure we could work something out.

Oh, thank goodness, because I didn't think I was going to recover from this.

All right, let's go.

Aw, Mama Pooka and Baby Pooka. It's kind of sweet.

Ugly, but sweet.

[snarling]

Okay.

Sophie, I can explain.

Why didn't you just tell me the truth?

I didn't want to make you sad.

But I realize now that not coming clean just makes things worse.

I am so sorry.

I forgive you.

But I don't want a best friend who keeps things from me.

I know. Which is why...

I have one more thing to confess.

To both of you.

You do?

I saw my family doctor

and she said I've been away from other vampires too long.

That's why my powers have been fritzing.

The only way to stop it is

to go back to Transylvania.

For how long?

Forever.

I have to leave school at the end of the semester,

and I won't be able to come back.

V, are you serious?

I didn't know how to tell you because...

I just got so wrapped up in pretending

everything was okay, but it's not!

I'm not okay.

V...

we got you.

I can't believe you've been holding all that in.

[sighs] But now that we know,

we're gonna make the most of these last few weeks.

Yeah, us first years to watch

are gonna go out strong.

I love you guys.

[♪ Soft music playing]

- Britney? - What?

[snarling]

[chitters, laughs]

We've got to get a lock for that cage.

[snarling]

[all clapping and cheering]

Thank you, thank you. We'll be signing autographs

during office hours.

I've decided having Mr. Sparkles at school

wasn't a good idea after all.

I'm going to send him back home.

Honestly, I'm a little relieved.

Being a Godfather is an emotional roller coaster

I was not prepared for.

We'll miss you, Mr. Sparkles.

Wait, are you sure that's Mr. Sparkles?

I'm kidding!

I think.

[Britney] Nobody leave!

Tonight, Wakapella has a special guest.

You know her, you love her,

and she has access to your permanent records.

So sit down.

And enjoy the show!

[all vocalizing]

♪ Ripped jeans, lip gloss Strings in your backpack ♪

♪ Candy rings, promises ♪

♪ Trying to get that time back ♪

♪ Thought the world Was yours ♪

♪ Stands in front Of the mirror ♪

♪ Dreaming up the stage ♪

♪ Now the world's going To hear you ♪

- [all vocalizing] - [all cheering]

♪ Straighten your crown like Your mama told you ♪

♪ Shining your light On the road for you ♪

♪ Don't let them tell you It's too late for you to try ♪

♪ You're gonna stay gold ♪

♪ You're gonna stay gold ♪

- ♪ You're going to say... ♪ - [all vocalizing]

♪ Don't let them tell you ♪

♪ It's never too late For you to fly ♪

[all clapping and cheering]

Oh, take that En Rogue.

And you too, Kern.

[laughs]

[♪ Upbeat music playing]