Original subtitles

I don't know. It looks like a computer overload or something.

It's drawing too much power.

a little shocked.

I've got to figure out how to get home. In order to do that, I've got to figure

out where the hell we are.

This place is as dark as a lawyer's heart.

The computer screen.

I figured it out.

Ornio, we are inside that black void that exists in a computer monitor when

computer is turned off.

Holy chubby bonnets, bitches!

Oh, she's greedy.

Her name is Bondori. She's the bondage queen.

She's the guardian of the gateway that leads into the game.

In order to get to the first level, you've got to get past her.

I'm tied up and beat up, little boy. A lot happens to me, little boy.

Over there is a doorway, so try to make it through it, okay?

Ready?

Go.

Who is he?

Don't worry about it. Just go ahead. Go ahead. Just hold the pants. Don't let

him in.

Who is he?

Hello. Who is he? I mean, will you please?

Time on medical insurance.

Don't worry about the time on medical insurance.

That's pretty useful.

Where and what the hell are you?

I am for the real cheating America.

Oh, I see.

You have a name?

Certainly I have a name. I am virus man.

More specifically, a computer virus.

Huh.

Wow.

This is better than listening to fiction than any grassland breakfast.

No,

you can get me to stop right now, Princess. But first, you've got to tell

to cross the magnetic field into the real...

You are so evil.

Because you're such a beautiful, sweet and good woman.

I must know who she is.

That's it. That's my bit.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, I don't think you'll laugh.

She thinks he's good looking?

Maybe she don't see him the way I do.

Can you send me back?

Yes, of course.

Great. Leave me here.

The genetic regenerator. You can send me back, can't you?

Come on, get me to the real world, will you?

Come on, I don't want to stay here.

Get me out of here.

Send me home. Get me out of this place.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on.

Oh good. I think I got it. I think I got it.

Great. Great. Come on. Send me home. Send me home.

I think I can wait a few minutes more, don't you think?

Besides, I don't think we need an audience for this.

Thank you.

ah ah

Ah!

Shhh.

Does the Earth really live inside your imagination?

Yes, Roneo, right up here.

Wow.

I wonder whether if you guys like to overcrowd a place these days, then you

decide how we will be, how we will act, how we will look, how we will perform in

bed.

You must also be the one to decide whether or not my brother Squeezy should

a bath once a week or not.

That's right, Roneo.

The universe is a very empty place.

I'll get you to the real world, will you?

Come on, I don't want to stay here.

Get me out of here.

Squeezy is under the impression that he invented you. He designed a superhero

brother's computer game.

He got the idea for that game when he fell asleep next to his computer.

You see, the magnetic field of the computer...

affected his thought process while he slept.

So, he didn't invent any of this stuff in the computer world?

Unfortunately, he did come up with two creatures, the Mad King of Pooper and

mistress of evil, Elaza.

Ah.

So we're lucky King Pooper drowned in his own bad achievement.

Very lucky indeed.

And now, Ornio, I think it's time for us to bring your brother back to this

world.

Great. Great. Come on. Send me home. Send me home.

That's it. Ah!

Sweetie, hurry up! I told you I'd be back!

Oh, Jack!

Oh,

Jack!

Ornio, help me! Help me! Ornio, look! It's King Pooper, and he's alive!

Oh, this is terrible! This is what?

This is just what he wanted. Now he can rule the world.

That's right, Princess Baby.

And the world is going to be one big toilet for King Pooper the First.

Out of the way, fat boy.

The First, is that where he's going to breathe?

That's always been his plan.

That's why he saved all the exactly what it seemed on that top.

He dreams of...

Oh, gee, it sounds like what the blood in the crypts do already.

It'll be even worse. It'll be even worse than that common gangbanger.

Because we all know he's got the power for the genetic degenerator machine.

Oh, I experienced that genetic degenerator machine.

That was a horrible experience.

I could feel my mind being drained as my intelligence was being reduced to that

of a pound of calf's liver.

And that's the worst thing that could happen to me.

Why? Because you guys wouldn't be able to tell the difference, that's why.

Oh, Princess Felina.

Can't you send a pooper back into the computer world?

No, I am bound by the stupid rules of this stupid screen, play it at you or to

you.

Besides, this is his imagination, not mine.

Ah, Greg, on it, squeegee.

That's the biggest mistake next to time. We run those double dates and you fart

in the back seat, man.

Buttered popcorn.

Man,

what do we do?

Procreation began.

Man, oh man, are all the rooms in your world where people procreate this small

and confining? Small and confining? You ought to try doing it in the backseat of

a Yugo sometime.

Yes, but this room is so small and tacky, it's hardly befitting of a man

called King.

In this city, they beat men with names like King, so quit your complaining.

all in a day's rate, isn't it?

Yes,

this day... Hey, Ray, I don't understand these things. Or this money business

you talk about.

You should be honored to date the sperm of the great King Pooper.

I just don't understand.

Well, lay down.

Yes. Yes, I don't have to understand.

I'm from the other side, inside the computer world.

That's right. I can do any goddamn thing I want to.

Yes, lay down.

That's good.

Spread your legs now.

When we're having sex, I want you to do me a big favor.

The favor is, every time I put my doobie winky in you, I want you to call it

big.

Big. Say it again and again.

Big. Say it for me.

Big. No, I want you to tell me, you've got a big thing.

You've got a big thing. Oh, this is going to be great. I can do anything I

to in this world.

That's good.

Oh!

Oh, they look a little different over here.

Yes, but I think they caused the same reaction.

voices again, huh?

Yeah.

That's good. Come here.

There are dangers in their frame. Bondora could flush your penis until

gets in. That's okay. I like blowjobs. Saved on child support.

I'm not afraid.

Paulina, if we don't go back to the computer world and destroy that genetic

degenerative, Hooper, he will destroy everything on Earth we hold dear to us.

Yeah, like the IRS.

Yeah, and the guy that hosts America's Funniest Home Videos.

Or lawyers.

Religious rights. Crowded freeways.

Or city hall audiences.

No, the guy has to go, Hooper.

Think about it. Perhaps we should destroy this world after all. No, no,

can't. You can't do that.

What happened with all the good things that you might miss in life, like a walk

on a beach during sunset?

A book of poetry?

Or a bubble bath?

Okay, Frank, are American potatoes with crackers on top?

Now you're talking.

Okay, fine.

Only if you would destroy King Pooper's genetic degenerating machine.

Consider it done.

Oh, massive, massive.

Yes.

Yes.

You're going to lay right there, and I'm going to stand up and come right in

your mouth.

Yes.

First, I'm going to make you come again.

That's it, baby.

Don't you push and make yourself come.

to the computer last time.

Yeah, I'm getting it. I'm getting it.

Oh, my. Does that mean I have to fill my pants again, sweetie?

Hell, yes. That's the best part.

There are kiddies paid to do this, and worse.

Won't you step into my web, my pretties?

It's Spider -Woman.

She's worse at entangling me in her web than an unwed mother of thieves.

Don't worry, I can handle it.

You guys go destroy that machine.

Listen, audio, whatever you do, don't propose to her.

Yeah, don't worry. Get out of here, squeezy. Go.

Take your woman now.

Oh yeah.

Oh, Spider -Man.

of family, mother, and mother.

Wow Wow Wow

Oh, Spiderman.

Oh,

Spiderman.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that feels right.

It feels nice.

No pain.

No pain.

No pain. No pain.

No pain.

No pain.

Oh, baby.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

The genetic generator machine right here.

Yes. Who is this?

That's Princess Polina kissing that guy.

I don't understand this.

She's supposed to be on the other side of the magnetic field right now.

And even if she wasn't, she wouldn't be kissing that guy knowing who he is.

Especially because she's in love with my brother, Romeo.

Beep.

because of the energy drain because of this machine.

Therefore, let me know where I'm going to reach whatever takes place at this

point on.

Okay. What's the other scenario?

The other scenario is that the writer of this video ran out of ideas. They were

having characters talk to each other at random.

I take the first one.

Yeah, me too. Listen, I need your help. You got to put this thing out of

commission. Run against it. Gum it up. Do something.

Make it run like a 76 Ford Tinto.

Screw it up. Come on, please. I got it, buddy.

Gum it up. Gum it up. Do it again.

Get it. Come on. Get it. Stop. Stop.

I'm just working.

You did it! I'm coming, I'm coming! Stop!

You gulped it up!

We did it!

Your life has reason.

My life has reason.

There's a way.

I make a difference. I do, I do.

Thank you. Don't get carried away.

So then I had to point this spider woman to squeegee and the virus made her get

away.

Right and virus later myself blew up King Pooper's machine sending him into

limbo forever So

I

knew the video was gonna wind up ending this way

Are you looking for somebody fun and exciting to talk to?

Are you looking for somebody to share your desires with?

Well, you can call me 24 hours a day through over 100 girls to choose from.

This is not a party line.

It's just one -on -one conversation the way you like it.

Call me.

It's just $3 a minute.

But remember, you must be 18 or over.

I'll be waiting for your call.

Whisper in my ear, tell me your secrets, all your thoughts, all your fantasies,

and I'll tell you mine.

It's live, up close and personal, 24 hours a day.

But you must be 18 years of age or older, and it's only $3 a minute.

What a bargain.

Just call.

Pick up the phone and dial my number.

I'm waiting for you.

Just call me now.

Want someone to talk to? It's up close and one -on -one, and it's live 24 hours

a day.

We can share fantasies.

We can share desires.

Up close, one -on -one, with your choice of over 100 girls.

And if you're over 18, it's just $3 a minute.

Call me.

that little dove, and this is Danielle, and she would like to talk to you.

Hello there, this is Danielle.

Would you like me to fuck her for you with this hard cock, this beautiful

I know you want me to give it to her, baby.

Hi. We're just gonna, we're just gonna put the phone down. We want you to

to us and watch us while she fucks me.

Hold on.

So big.

Call me.

Oh, fuck on the phone. I'll make you come.