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Oh, you do, you do, you do, you do.

That's where you're going.

You stood on my foot.

Forget your foot.

They're all nice trainers, though.

Thanks, mate.

Right.

Got them down the shop yet, Dave?

Whatever. Right.

Once we've robbed this place, we're going to be able to afford anything.

Anything? Anything you want.

And get a new car?

A new Hot Wheels car, yes.

Right. What do I do with these? Put this on.

Why do I have to... Why am I playing the... Because I did it last time.

No, you didn't. I did it last time. And I've been working out, so I look more

like a marshal than you.

Yes? Okay?

You can do this.

You can do this. She's apparently fit. You said you've been here before, no?

Yeah, but that was like, what?

That was years ago, and I was young, and I was stupid, so... Right, but you've

been here before, so you've tasted the place. You know what it looks like.

Okay, so... Yeah? Yeah.

Right, so... What's the plan? What are we doing, anyway?

Okay, so the plan is...

I'm bringing you to her, this sexy mouth, yeah? Yeah.

And you need to, like, apologise to her for robbing her however many years ago.

Right. I'll pretend these are your case notes I got this from.

There's nothing in it, Ryman.

She doesn't know that, does she? She's not going to be like, oh, what's in

there? Can I have a look in your folder, please? No.

Okay. She's not going to do that.

So, I'm going to take you there and I'll say, you cannot get incarcerated.

until you apologise to everyone that you've wronged in the past.

Comprende? You want me to seduce her, or do you think she should just... Well,

yes, well, you've just got to distract her. I mean, if you want to seduce her

and get your willy wet.

You think that'll work?

I don't know, do you want your willy... I mean, it's starting to rain now, you

know. It's sunny old.

These are really cheap. Well, we didn't have much of a budget, did we?

Just put them on. Just put them on.

And why do we look like Americans?

I don't know. This is all they had in the joke shop.

Okay. Well, you're the... Wait, Marshall.

I've even got a function.

I wanted to have a taser.

Why do we... Why do we... Game face.

Jesus Christ.

So, run for the plan once again.

So, yeah.

She's supposed to be on the list. You're going to apologise to her because you

wronged her in the past.

Yeah? Yeah.

And then I can tell her I can finally take you off to jail, put you in the

slammer, lock you up, do some bird, do some time.

I'm not dropping the soap. Get bummed.

I'm not dropping the soap.

Don't you soap anymore.

Well, I'm not actually going to prison, am I? Some herbal essence is.

I'm not actually going to prison, mate. Well, if we don't get this right, young

man, look at me. If we don't get this right, we might go to prison. So, let's

go. We're going to rob some fucking jewels.

Some pearl necklaces. Hey!

Pearl necklaces? Or, I don't know, what did Milfs have?

Golden tampons.

Yeah,

golden tampons.

You never heard of the golden tampon?

No, I don't think I have.

No? Right.

Okay, game face, you ready? Okay, yeah, yeah. Ready. Three, two, one.

What can I do for you?

Sorry,

I've got Mark Markson here.

Before I can be in prison for two years for... Aggravated assault, theft,

burglary, general wrongdoing.

He comes to apologise to everyone he's wronged in the past.

And, um... Yes?

I recognise you.

Are you the dude from next door?

Are you the dude?

Yeah.

Okay. So what we need him to do is apologise to everyone he's wronged in

past, stolen from, cheated, and otherwise upset.

So, if you don't mind.

You sound like a lovely character.

Yep, he's going to be imprisoned, he's going to be punished, incarcerated.

You're going to make me drop the soap.

There isn't soap anymore, bitch. It's a shower gel.

Oh dear, lubrication.

Mmm, minty.

So if we could come inside.

Yep. I will just read you something from my paperwork.

With respect to the outcome of case number 613, the Honourable Sheriff of

Dunfermline County sentences the adult Mark Markinson to a term of

imprisonment of two years time served. In addition,

said Mark Markinson is required to personally and sincerely apologise to

those affected by his actions.

Oh, personally.

List of those affected is attached.

If Mark Markinson refuses to apologise to the victims and there is no sincere

remorse, he will be denied the opportunity to apply for parole for good

behaviour. We need to make sure that he's very, very remorseful.

He will be. And can I just confirm you are Bertha McLaughlin? That I am. Just

sign here and initial here.

Sorry.

I'm not going to see them for a while.

Okay, so this personal and sincere apology. Shall we move through to the

area somewhere more comfortable?

I think we should. Yeah, off we go.

Right, something lightening.

So, yeah, I'm just here because, obviously, I need to apologise for the

did to you when, like, yeah, a few years back.

So, obviously, I need to apologise for calling you a big, titted, milk bitch.

I need to kind of apologise because, obviously, I hurt your cat.

That was you!

Yeah, I'm so sorry for that. What? What are you saying?

I also need to apologise because I obviously took a shit on your car.

I can't.

I'm just, I'm in absolute fucking shock.

Scratches as well on your car, that might have been me.

Also, like, I painted a hawk on your house.

That might have been me. Fucking hell.

So I was thinking it was a hate campaign and all of a sudden it was just this.

Yeah, yeah.

I was meaning to apologise because I might have snuck into your house and

changed your facial cream with sperm.

Well, I can't really be angry at you with that one because obviously I'm a

fucking honda. What do you reckon?

Yeah. Not 565. Also, do you remember that time that you tried to dye your

and it went green?

I might have accidentally swapped over the hair conditioner and stuff, yeah.

Also, like, I've pissed for your door several times.

I blame that on the fucking dog.

I got rid of that fucking dog because of that.

Actually, to mention your dog... It's funny this is, and it is funny. Can I

use the time, please?

Yeah, you can.

This one? Yeah, please, what's that one?

To mention dog, I might have sold you a dog.

What? To apologise.

Oh, I also sold you a cat.

And remember the tortoise you had?

Yeah. Yeah, and ran that over my car.

Well, I spoke on the app, though. At least it was your fucking car and not

because the doppier going ridiculous.

I won't talk about your penis, OK?

Yeah, so I really need to just apologise for all sorts of things.

Yeah, yeah. Really sorry, like, please.

Like, forgive me. You've got on your knees.

I need you to forgive me. Like, I'm really, really sorry.

Like, I'm going to go to prison and I'm not going to see a fucking pussy or,

like, a woman again for, like, two years now. And it's going to be so horrible.

Because you're going to be the bitch.

I'm going to be the bitch. I'm going to end up dropping the soap in the shower.

It's going to be horrible.

No, use the shower gel now.

Oh, you just can't. So please, please forgive me, lads.

Please, I'll do anything.

How sorry are you?

I'm so sorry, please.

There's definitely an apology going on there.

I'm really sorry.

Oh, it's terrible.

Oh,

what are they going to do to this poor little...

What are they going to do to me? It's going to be stretched out like a

sleeve. Oh no!

It's going to be horrible. You poor little man.

It's going to be terrible.

You poor.

They're going to do bad things to me, aren't they?

Poor little man.

I know I shouldn't ask a married woman this but

maybe you could be nice to me?

I know I'm apologising for all that horrible stuff I did.

Well you're in luck because I'm single and ready to mingle and apparently I

a fucking red flag so yeah.

Where's your sexy friend gone?

Did he want to join in?

No, he's gone to the toilet.

If he's got any magazines or any pornos,

he's going to be a good half -hour or half -hour.

He can be nice.

Well, you never know because there's good Wi -Fi in there.

He might be having a good old Tommy.

Do you think he'll be with you then, yeah?

Well,

I saw you looking at him.

I'm going to apologise to this one and this one.

That's a very big apology.

Very, very sorry.

I want to be one of them like that for a while.

Big tongue, big tongue Give

him a big tongue

Wow.

Oh, you're such a fucking bug too.

Lick it like a fucking ice cream. Come on, just one.

Come on.

Thank you.

Right, we've had the ice cream now let's have the fucking flake.

I don't want to break my hair.

um um

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Okay, I'm definitely doing what I'm going to do in prison.

Take some point in.

You're good at it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, you're so good.

Yeah.

Oh, you're better than my stepmom.

Oh, yeah.

He's got a tiny little ball in his mouth.

Radical.

It's not part of him well, the fact he'll take a little bit in prison, babe.

Do you want to figure out the bugs start getting stretched out?

Oh, no.

Right, that's enough of that. Get on your fucking knees.

Get on your knees!

Okay.

So, you want to be punished?

You want to be punished, do you?

Do you?

Really?

See? Just like you're not going to put me well.

Right. What do you want to do for a while?

Yeah? Yeah?

What are we going to do with you, eh?

What are we going to do with you?

No.

Did you know you were going to be in the toilet for a while, did you?

Yeah.

Yeah, I wish you wasn't.

You're going to love it.

I'm going to love it. I'm going to love it. Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm going to love it.

They're the nice couple. They're the nice old couple. Yeah,

it'll be there a while.

Will it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably will.

It'll be there a while.

We've got to have some fun.

Yes. Oh, yes.

You want to come and fill my house for me, do you? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

You want to come and return the favour?

Yes, yes.

Come on.

Go. Huh?

Huh? Come on. Huh? Okay.

It's time to have some fun now.

I'm going to enjoy this one.

Don't make noise now.

You don't want to be making noise now, do you?

Don't want to alert your friend.

Come on.

Are you alright over there?

Oh, that's it. Right up that. Come on.

Come on.

your life depended on it.

You never know.

Good job, good job.

Come on, I thought you'd make me a young father.

Perfect, I love that,

come on.

There we fucking go.

Perfect, that's it.

Come on, take it back into it.

I think that's not too bad, why do you say?

Come on, you've got plenty of time for a rest when you're in the niche.

Keep your fucking noise down.

I'm not done with you yet.

Not

bad

for an old pussy, eh?

Oh this is better than calisthenics eh?

Oh, you wait till I tell the girls that Ben got it.

They're not going to believe that.

Oh, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

Oh, gee, that is...

I'm going to meet him when he goes to prison and be bummed.

Where the fuck is Luke?

Yes.

Just enjoy yourself.

What was that?

Nothing.

Okay, yes.

Yes.

There's nothing wrong there.

Help me fuck your titties.

Yes, ma 'am.

Good.

Well, you're a good boy. Good boy.

I'm really, really sorry.

I'm really, really sorry.

Fuck, we like the video. Okay.

Oh, I'm sick of being fake now, come on.

That's it.

Let's watch the cock going into my cunt. Yeah.

Yeah.

There we go.

Oh.

Oh, that's it.

That's it. That's it.

Oh, that's it.

That's it.

Come on.

Hold on. Fucking hold on.

Oh, that's it. That's it. That's it.

Come on.

That's what I'm trying to do.

It feels really good.

What? I didn't say anything.

Yes, yes.

Come on, you yummy old fuck.

Come on.

Are you riding on a horse?

Yes!

No!

No! Come fuck me from behind.

I'm going to put your fucking foot on the chain.

Come on, you're going to be swapping positions. I'm coming, I'm coming.

Come on.

Stop pitting around, put your fucking dick in there. I'm coming, I'm coming.

Jake, what's the fucking hold up?

Oh, that's it.

That's fucking it. That's it.

I can't fucking do it.

Don't get me really fucking tired, you know.

Fuck off. Yeah, come on. Oh, you, you, you, you, you, you, you. Oh,

yes, yes, yes.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Thank you, Nita.

Oh, fuck.

I can't wait to eat a little bit of milk.

I can't wait to eat a little bit of milk.

I can't wait to eat a little bit of milk.

I can't wait to eat a little

bit of milk.

I can't wait to eat a little bit of milk.

Oh, she's talking to you now.

Oh,

we

could have done some fucking role -playing with this one.

I could have got your smack out of your bag in my house.

I

can't

believe how much strength.

Oh, yes, yes.

Oh, yes,

yes.

Oh, if you come back again, I'll counsel with your inmate, Bishop.

Oh yeah!

Oh! What did you get that energy from?

It's like a wind. Oh! Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Is this good?

Don't you dare stop fucking me.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, it's so good.

Yeah.

Yes. Yes.

Oh, you are very nice.

I want to see that prison orange it really turns me on.

Sure. Come on you sexy felon.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, shit.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, you just sit back and enjoy it. Don't worry your little soul about

anything going on.

You just really enjoy the dick, yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh,

yeah. Just lie back.

Just imagine a nice, good thing that's going on.

No one stealing anything from your house.

You know, all the bad things I did. You're completely forgiven.

Yeah.

All the time you were with us, Dad.

oh wow

Yeah,

just enjoy that. Just enjoy that cough.

Don't sit.

Don't fucking stop.

No, no, no. You just keep enjoying yourself. Everything.

Just keep looking.

Just keep enjoying that. That's it. Yeah. Don't stop.

That's it. There's nothing happening here at all.

Oh,

yes. Yes, yes, yes.

Yeah, that's good.

Oh, yeah.

Well, thanks for the, um, what do they call it?

Oh, the apology.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No worries.

Ooh.

Hey, next time. Give me the fucking keys. Mate, I had them somewhere. I lost

them in those fucking bushes down there. Give me them.

They're pretty realistic.

Anyway, mate, I don't know how you do that. You're like a fucking sexual

Yeah, well, it's taken out of time I've told on me, you know?

I can't even speak, look.

I know, you're a bit tired. I'm tired.

Check this out. Three doors down, I know this widow, this bent dude, who's got

£250 ,000 worth of diamonds on a necklace that keeps in a dresser by her

think we should go and do that. What do you reckon? We'll swap roles.

I like my girls.

Okay, cool.

But maybe a bit late or tomorrow, because I'm really tired.

What? Really tired?

Why am I tired?

What's your hand for?

Well, yeah.

Right,

I'll tell you what. I'll buy you lunch.

Maybe. Yeah, go on.

Fishing chips?

Yeah, we are up in the north.

Fishing chips?

Gravy?

Gravy. Gravy. I like my pears.

Okay. Right, come on. You'll pay. High five, mate.

On me. You'll pay.

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