Original subtitles

Big one.

The common cold can knock you out. But did you know that the leading

prescription cold remedy is more than 70 % alcohol?

or that it can make you light -headed, woozy, even hallucinogenic.

Whoa.

I think we need a doctor.

Yeah. We're sick.

Check it out.

Cool.

Yeah!

Hey.

Somebody fit the tent.

Yeah.

Now this is feel -good music.

This video tells a message.

Yeah. The message is, Vince Neil is a wuss.

Yeah. That guy from Danzig would kick his ass.

Hey, butthead, what does a doctor feel good in?

That's like when the doctor makes you cough and he puts his fingers on your

nads.

Yeah, that's cool.

Oh, yeah?

You don't have a female doctor, do you, Beaver?

This video has fire and cars.

Yeah, and tattoos.

And leather.

Now all it needs is some chicks.

Then it would be cool.

Yeah.

Fire,

fire, fire.

Cool.

This isn't as cool as Scarface.

Yeah.

This was before the music revolution.

Hey, this looks like that Les Miserables poster in Mrs. Diggy's class.

Yeah.

This Les Miserables looking thing sucks.

This guy does everything by himself.

Hey, I detect masturbatory overtones.

He's talking about choking his chicken. Yeah.

He's talking about spanking his monkey.

Sweat! Sweat! Sweat! Sweat! Sweat! Sweat!

Sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat.

I'm pretty cool sometimes, huh, Beaver?

Who

wants

cheese on the... Medium?

Medium well?

That's cool.

Number 83.

Number 83.

Pickles?

Pickles?

Cool.

And what is your problem?

I kind of have a fork stuck in my head.

Ow!

We're number 83, and we need the leading subscription cold remedy.

We're, uh, like, thick or something.

I have not gone on break

in two hours and 15 minutes.

And what is your problem?

We're sick.

Feet?

Look, room seven, strip down to your underpants, wait for the doctor. I'm

on my break.

Cool.

Doctor said, rectum? It nearly killed him.

Nice wedgie, dude.

Look, it's a thong.

That's cool.

Wow, okay. So you boys have bad colds, right?

She saw your butt.

Shut up.

Uh, yeah.

We have bad colds. Probably like ammonia or something.

So we need rest, fluids, and the leading description, cold remedy. A big bottle.

Well, we'll see, Mr.

Butthead. How about we start with you? Just hop up on the table over there and

let me take a quick look in your ear, okay?

Well, what I actually said, Mr. Butthead, was in your ear, not in your

So maybe you could, you know...

You can call him Crisco, because he's fat in a can.

Shut up, Beaver.

Hey,

hey, I'll tell you what. Let's just cut this short, okay? I'll give you each a

quick antibiotic injection, and you should start feeling better very soon.

No leading inscription cold remedy?

No wild cherry or cold grape goodness?

No, I never prescribe that stuff. It tends to make patients kind of

Ah!

What a wuss.

Sometimes they even get high or hallucinate.

Alright then, you can get dressed now if you'd like. In fact, I'd really

appreciate it if you'd do it as quickly as possible. And the nurse will be in

momentarily with your bill.

This sucks.

No medicine, no buzz, nothing.

Yeah, I'm starting to feel better.

What a rip -off.

Hunter?

Where's the pickles?

Where's the pickles?

Check it out, Venus.

It's us dudes on Stewart's lunch clock.

This video needs, like, more explosions and close -ups of butts.

Yeah.

They should have somebody come out and start kicking this guy.

That would be cool.

Yeah.

They could kick him.

And punch him, too.

Like Ice Cube.

He could come out and kick all these guys.

That was cool.

He said,

hangin'.

If this toad licking thing works, we're not going to even need the leading

conniption cold remedy.

Anything yet?

Are you sure you're licking right?

Yeah.

I don't get it. It's supposed to pack an awesome buzz.

Tastes like chicken.

Here, Toadie.

Yes!

Whoa.

Trials of life.

Why do you think they call them animals?

Yeah.

Volume one, hunting and escaping.

Order now.

Operators are standing by.

Whoa, baby.

How did that happen?

Cool.

These guys are pissed off.

Yeah, they've got a bad attitude.

That's cool.

This is the coolest video I've ever seen in my life.

His beard is cool.

It's King Tut from Batman.