Original subtitles

Fallen on hard times, but Meredith Baxter Burney's a woman with a mission.

Three missions.

Nurse. Walk, damn it, walk.

Vigilante. Stay away from my kid, or your ass is...

This sucks.

Change the channel, dude.

Check this out.

Olivia Newton -John sucks.

That's not Olivia Neuter -John.

That's that rich chick from 902... Uh, 6 -1.

Oh, yeah.

Donna.

That's not Donna.

Donna's the slut.

This is Kelly.

No way, dude.

Donna's not a slut. She's the virgin. Kelly's the slut.

Does she look like a slut to you, Beaver?

Yeah, that's why it's Donna.

Yeah, but you just said Donna's not a slut.

Oh, yeah.

That must be Kelly.

Whoa.

Hey, Beavis. Yeah, yeah.

Check it out.

Which one's

Lottie?

That's him in the members -only jacket.

No way, that's Ozzy's son.

Yeah. Ozzy's older than that.

Yeah, Ozzy's an old fart.

Cool. This is cool.

Hey, butthead.

Are these guys from Seattle?

No, ass munch.

They're Americans.

Oh, yeah.

Whoa, that's that Paul Schaefer dude on the wall.

Cool. Hey,

butthead. Ozzy bit off the head of a cow once.

Yeah, that was cool.

Milk poured out of his neck.

No, dude.

Light it first.

No, light it first, then spray.

Yeah, light it first, then spray.

That was cool.

Okay, class.

Could I have your attention, please?

Okay, class.

Today we're going to explore the world of haiku.

We're going to explore the world of getting high?

Cool.

No, butthead. Not high cool.

But the ancient Japanese spare haunting poetry called haiku.

Haiku is a three -line poem.

The first and last line are five syllables.

The middle line is seven syllables.

A syllable, of course, is one sound.

Butt -head. Two syllables.

Butt and head.

So now that you know that, Butt -head, why don't you compose a haiku for the

class?

Hellfire! Beavis and Butt -head will return, brothers!

Okay. Come on, Butt -head.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Don't be scared.

You're blocking.

Come on, butthead. Five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables.

It's easy. Make your haiku about something you know. What you did

instance. Now, your first line is five syllables.

Come on.

That was cool.

Okay. Next line, seven syllables.

When we killed that frog.

Okay. And the last line, five syllables.

It won't croak again.

Okay. That was cool.

When we killed that frog.

It won't croak again.

Okay. Your turn, Beavis.

Okay,

Beavis.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha, mm, ha, ha, mm.

Ha, ha, mm, ah, ha.

Okay, great work, guys. You both get A's for this exercise.

I like fire.

Fire,

fire, fire, fire.

What?

Huh?

What?

Connected to the what bone?

Connected to the what bone?

Cool. I like explosions.

Yeah, me too.

These guys are cool.

Yeah.

Never can start this career counseling too early.

Okay, here's the files.

Oh, well, there are people in the bottom percentile.

Now this teacher's note says you should be poets.

Go to liberal art college.

Now what do teachers know?

You boys ever read Huxley, Brave New World?

Yeah.

Well, Huxley thought humans could be brave. The defenders of Daytime City

kick his ass. Any day. Filling to the stupidest people. Well.

Yes.

Yes. Yes.

Let's rock.

Yes.

These guys have cool haircuts.

Yeah.

I'm going to get bread locked like that.

First you, like, roll up your hair, and then you take a stick, and then you

take, like, some glue.

Shut up, dumbass. I'm trying to listen.

Rock.

Fish bones are cool.

They should play these guys all the time.

Yes.

Thank you.