Original subtitles

Pass the old El Crasso.

Hey, Beavis.

Pass the old El Crasso.

Change it, dude.

Hey, guys. Welcome back to Video Wonderland.

This guy's a chode smoker.

They all are.

Here's a classic that you definitely won't hear on Mexican radio.

Wall of Voodoo's Mexican radio.

It's a message, dude.

A sign from our master.

I like when those bull horns tear open the guy's stomach.

You can see his guts.

Yeah.

One day in school, when I was like paying attention, they were teaching us

how cows have four separate butts.

They can like digest their food in each butt, and then they spit it up, and they

like chew their crud.

That would be cool if we had like four butts. I mean like four butts each.

Yeah.

Then we would have like seven butts all together.

That would be cool.

Yes!

These guys rock!

That would be cool if that guy jumped off the stage and nobody caught him.

And he smashed his head on the floor.

Yeah, yeah.

And then his head would crack open.

And then there'd be, like, blood everywhere and brain.

That would be cool.

Yeah.

What if somebody started flipping around on his blood and brain?

And then he cracked his head open.

And then everybody was flipping around on blood.

Yeah, cracking their heads open.

That's like that movie where that guy was riding in that car.

And his, like, head exploded.

But it was all out of focus.

That's right.

Hey, Spiva, there's too many dudes in this video.

Yeah, there's no chicks in sweaty t -shirts.

Let's see if we can get scrambled porno flicks on UHF.

That would be cool.

Thanks for taking us to Mexico, Dave.

This ride ain't free, boys.

Remember, I got business down there. You're part of the management team.

This is cool.

Yeah.

You boys ever been to Mexico before?

Well, ain't no law down there. It's every man for himself.

They take no prisoners.

Well, actually, they take a few, and they torture them.

Cool.

Yeah, they don't care what you do until you cross them.

It's a whole different world down there.

We can buy fireworks, right? Like M -80s and stuff?

Fireworks, guns, white slaves, endangered species.

Hell, they got everything down there.

Did he say fireworks?

We're almost there.

Cool.

Okay, we'll meet back here in five hours.

We'll be back with more men.

Let's go get some M -80s.

Cool.

Firework.

Fireworks.

M -80.

Firecrackers.

Fireworks.

These people are stupid.

Yeah.

Two tacos.

Uno.

He wants a buck.

Why didn't he say so?

Here, doggie. Here, boy.

Here you go.

Here, doggie. Go for it.

That's the old El Craso.

Cool.

Is this foreign?

Yeah.

Check it out, Beavis.

She's got money on her head.

Yeah.

Money is cool.

She's going to take all that money on her head and go play video games.

On her horse.

Yeah.

Is this Paula Hebdula?

Yeah.

Is this video about Jesus?

Yeah.

Christ is cool.

Amen.

Chains and chicks?

That's more like it.

Blacks are cool.

Have you ever drank a beer?

Yeah. Oh, yeah?

Where'd you get it?

The fight.

Guy gave it to me.

You haven't drank a beer, lying wuss.

I should, like, join this band.

Yeah.

These chicks would talk to us.

They'd talk to me.

Then they'd tell you to get your sorry ass out of there.

Yeah. Rock and roll is cool.

Hey, butthead. Yeah?

Cool, dude.

Check this out.

Mexico

is cool.

She wants something.

Is that Deanna Reeves?

Yeah.

Depeche Mode is French for werewolfies.

Don't steal me, dude.

You can see parts of her singing.

This is the morning of our...

Yes.

Yes. Yes.

No. No. Show the chick.

Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes.

No. No.

No. No. It sucks.

He's looking at you, Beavis.

He wants you.

No way.

Tattoos are pretty cool.

For a wussy.

We

can't

leave Mexico without fireworks, dude.

Check it out. Cool.

Piñata! Piñata!

Piñata! Piñata!

Piñata! Piñata!

That game was cool.

Rico.

Suave. Rico.

Rico.

Suave.

Rico. Whoa.

Suave.

Yeah.

Guacamole. That was cool.

Hey, butthead.

What's a gigolo?

That's like one of those really fat dudes.

Change it.

If I got a hat like that, I

could be a lead singer.

I would be cool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's stupid.

Yeah.

I like the fire, but they need some chicks in tight shorts.

Then it would be cool.

Yeah. With clothes up on their butt.

Yeah.

A new world.

A new world.

A new world.

Yes!

It's about time they play something cool. Yeah.

This guy looks like Jesus.

Yeah. Christ is cool.

Seattle kicks ass.

Yeah. Is everybody in Seattle cool?

Yeah. If you go to Seattle, anybody you see is cool.

We should go, dude.

Yeah, yeah.

That's that dude from the Spin Doctors.

He jams with Soundgarden sometimes.

Come on, get in.

Now it's time for you guys to earn your keep. Look in the glove box.

Oh, no. Dave's going to boof us.

Time to fill them, boys.

I can't fill that.

With these, dork.

Pills. Cool.

All this stuff's legal in Mexico, and it's cheap, too, if you know the right

people.

Border's coming up. Better swallow those rubbers, boys.

Make sure to tie them a couple times. It's a rough ride through the digestive

tract.

Cool.

You guys did remember to tie off those condoms before you swallowed them,

You boys got some identification?

ID. You got ID?

Uh, no.

Get out of the car, all of you.

So, you thought you'd come down to Mexico and pick up a couple of

huh? Smuggle some illegal then, huh? Is that your game?

These guys live in my town. They're American.

What's the capital of Texas, son?

Huh?

I said, what's the capital of Texas?

It's Austin, man.

Let him go.

What? They're obviously Americans.

Mexicans know the capital of Texas.

Mexicans would care that they're being interrogated by the Border Patrol.

Those two are as American as they come.

No way.

God bless America.

Yeah.

This kicks ass.

Yeah, yeah.

Brian Johnson looks like he's taking a dump.

Yeah, he's constipated because he's old.

Hey, Viva.

You think we're on, like, a highway to hell?

Yeah.

These

guys

dress cool.

Yeah. They always wear the same thing.

Yeah.

Hey, we always wear the same thing.

Yeah.

I've had this shirt on for six months.

Yeah, I've had this shirt on for seven months.

That was cool.

What if you lit one of these in Dave's butt?

That would be cool.

Peckerwood. I can't believe he made us walk back from the border.

Mexico sucks.

Whoa,

special defects.

That's a dude that works down at Boot Warehouse.

No way. That dude works at Leadership Dodge.

On Central, half a mile north of Walnut.

Hey,

that

was a wipe.

Hey, butthead.

I heard these guys are bilingual.

Yeah.

These guys are all sexual perverts.

That dude in the back, he's got two linguals.

Thank you.