Original subtitles

Okay, comfy, Mr. Swinerton?

Oh, yes, I'm fine.

That guy's old.

You're just being nice to my rich husband, so he'll put you in his will.

Tune in tomorrow for another episode of The Rich and the Horny.

Hey, butthead, do we know any old guys?

Mr.

Anderson.

Yeah.

We're there.

Hey,

Mr. Anderson.

Are you going to die pretty soon?

Yeah. And leave all your money to someone?

That would be cool.

Boys, every man faces death.

Lord knows I've faced it many times.

I took lead at Anzio.

I was napalmed in Korea.

And boy, that little filly in Paris put an awful strain on my ticker, I tell you

what. On your what?

Yep, boys, I've arm -wrestled with death all my life.

But it's been a good life, and when the Grim Reaper comes a -knockin', this

van'll stop rockin'. So...

Are you going to die soon?

Yes, boys, I'm afraid it's inevitable.

Cool.

So, uh, you got any, like, chores you want us to do?

Yeah. We won't charge you nothing.

Well, that's mighty nice of you, boys. Let's see here.

Well, you could give Colette here a bath.

She ain't been feeling well lately. She's been rolling around in her own

Smells like teen spirit.

Smells like your butt.

Okay, dude. We'll be back.

This is gonna be cool.

Yeah.

What's with all these squares?

Orange squares suck.

If I wanted to learn about geometry, I'd go to school.

Geometry's not about squares.

It's about triangles and stuff.

I meant advanced geometry.

Yeah.

These guys sure got wimpy.

Shut up. Fart knocker. These guys are cool.

Oh, yeah.

Check

out

this old dude.

Yeah. Hey, old dude, there's a duck after you.

That wasn't funny, Beavis. Oh, yeah.

Check it out.

There's something cool coming up. Yeah.

That's not it.

Uh, that's not it.

Yeah.

That's not it.

That's it. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Cool.

That's it again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

This is gonna be cool.

Yeah.

It says load.

Hey, butthead. These things cost money. That sucks.

Boys, would you do me a favor and watch my laundry while I go to the store?

Are you going to die pretty soon?

I'm sorry, son. I can't hear you. You have to speak up.

Never mind.

We'll watch your stuff.

Look, an old lady's panties.

It's a poodle.

Said it on delicate.

This is gonna be cool.

Washing the dog!

Washing the dog!

Washing the dog! Washing the dog!

Washing the dog!

Washing the dog!

Washing the dog! Washing the dog! Washing the dog!

Has he seen it?

Yeah.

Take her out.

Whoa, check it out. She's stoned.

Yeah.

People can see it.

Yeah.

My face looks like a thot.

I barfed on you.

That was cool.

Let's go.

Doing chores wipes me out.

You said wipe.

Yes!

It's about time they play something cool.

Yeah.

This guy looks like Jesus.

Yeah. Christ, it's cool.

Seattle, anybody you see is cool.

We should go, dude.

Yeah, yeah.

That's that dude from The Spin Doctor.

He jams with Soundgarden sometimes.

She smells worse than when I gave her to you. I don't smell nothing.

Uh, we used a special new dog detergent.

Lemon -scented chunks.

Well, detergent ain't enough, boys. You gotta use a good old elbow grease.

We used, uh, stomach grease.

You know, it's like the story of the two frogs who fell in a pan of boiling

milk. One of them said, I'm done for, and he gave up and died.

The other one started flapping his little froggy arms, flapping his arms,

flapping his arms, till finally he was standing on a big chunk of cheese.

Whoa. We gotta try that.

Yeah. Got any milk?

All's I'm saying is you boys have to get up off your butts and work harder. Hey,

it was free, asswipe. That's it.

Get your worthless hides off my property and don't ever come back.

Uh, okay,

but, uh...

We've got just one question. Get out!

Uh... Can we be in your will?

Hey, Beavis.

Where's Vanilli?

Yeah.

That is Vanilli.

Where's Millie?

Set me free, Beavis.

Set me free.

They bought it.

Change it or kill me.

Is that Billy Idol?

This is a story.

Yeah.

The story is Once Upon a Time Fonzie dyed his hair blonde and got on his

motorcycle. Yeah.

And then he started singing and this woman dropped this TV out of her window.

No way.

Then he got in a motorcycle accident.

And there was blood.

The end.

Whoa. It's that weird Al dude.

There's got to be a fight?

Yeah. It's going to be one of those girl fights.

Whoa, he's going to get some because he's

Weird Al. Yeah.

If you're famous, all you have to do is just walk up to chicks and say, give me

some. Yeah.