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1
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Golly, Sarge, don't make me scrub the
latrine again.
2
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Hey, Beaver, you know what's in Olivia
Newton's John?
3
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Gomer's pile.
4
00:00:13,940 --> 00:00:15,240
Get it? Yeah.
5
00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:21,180
You're sending that many men up against
Rambo?
6
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,520
Well, just don't forget one thing.
What's that?
7
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A good supply of... This lock bag.
8
00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,180
They're ideal for storing meats.
9
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And now, back to the deer hunter.
10
00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:37,700
Whoa, that was cool.
11
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:47,240
Whoa, I saw that guy in detention.
12
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:51,260
Yeah, he doesn't want to sit up because
he's got morning wood.
13
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Rise and shine.
14
00:01:05,830 --> 00:01:07,530
This is stupid.
15
00:01:07,890 --> 00:01:10,390
Yeah. And it sucks, too.
16
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These effects aren't very special.
17
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Yeah. These effects suck.
18
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If I got a hat like that, I could be a
lead singer.
19
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I would be cool.
20
00:01:42,850 --> 00:01:43,850
Yeah.
21
00:01:59,390 --> 00:02:02,530
I'd like to fire, but they need some
chicks in tight shorts.
22
00:02:03,510 --> 00:02:04,830
Then it would be cool.
23
00:02:06,690 --> 00:02:09,289
Yeah, with clothes up on their butt.
24
00:02:10,669 --> 00:02:11,670
Yeah.
25
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Gentlemen, my name is Sergeant Dick
Leakey. Some call me the Rooster.
26
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Wah, wah, wah, wah.
27
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Yeah, they come to snuff the rooster.
28
00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:58,980
War songs are cool.
29
00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:01,040
Yeah. At ease, man.
30
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,960
Why don't you come on inside? I'd like
to talk to you about finding your
31
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:05,739
in life.
32
00:03:05,740 --> 00:03:07,000
This is our purpose.
33
00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:11,400
Yeah. How about something more ambitious
than loitering, boys?
34
00:03:12,180 --> 00:03:15,120
I'll let you touch my MX -35 grenade
launcher.
35
00:03:23,540 --> 00:03:25,900
I said you could touch it, not grab it!
36
00:03:26,660 --> 00:03:29,400
So, you boys know anyone in the
military?
37
00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:32,460
Uh, Beavis' dad was in the Navy.
38
00:03:33,260 --> 00:03:34,420
Is that right?
39
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Yeah. He was a seaman.
40
00:03:38,020 --> 00:03:39,740
Yeah. Get it?
41
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:44,860
Nothing funny about the military, boy.
Grab a seat. There's a short film I'd
42
00:03:44,860 --> 00:03:45,860
like you to see.
43
00:03:55,530 --> 00:04:01,410
In Operation Help in Hand, we used heavy
metal to scare the enemy, and we did
44
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more than just scare them.
45
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We killed more people before 7 a .m.
than some countries kill all day.
46
00:04:15,230 --> 00:04:18,829
There's something really satisfying
about doing your job well.
47
00:04:19,730 --> 00:04:21,170
Today's army rock.
48
00:04:21,890 --> 00:04:24,510
We're looking for a few good
headbangers.
49
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,820
Whoa, that was cool.
50
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,680
Yeah, he looked like a lead singer in
Pantera.
51
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That ought to get him.
52
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,880
You idiots! That's a live grenade!
53
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Are you kids on dope? That grenade's
gonna blow!
54
00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:07,020
Whoa, that was cool.
55
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,980
Yeah, that was kind of cool.
56
00:05:16,220 --> 00:05:20,040
Listen up, man. The way I see it, you
owe me one.
57
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I'll be honest with you.
58
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:26,580
Being in the United States Army is an
important job, and it's not always easy
59
00:05:26,580 --> 00:05:29,660
finding the best people. Do you know
what a quota is?
60
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,400
Uh, you mean like 25 cents?
61
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:38,500
No. I'm prepared to promise you your own
guns, ammo, grenades, and uniforms.
62
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I'll get you a delayed entry, and I can
probably get you stationed at Fort Dix.
63
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,180
Is that anywhere near Fort Nuts?
64
00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:47,560
Yeah.
65
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:53,540
All you have to do is sign. And if you
decide you don't like the army, there
66
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ways to get out.
67
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,400
So, what do you say, boys?
68
00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,300
Does this mean that Beavis will have to
shave his butt?
69
00:05:59,740 --> 00:06:04,800
Listen, you maggots! I took a bullet for
Uncle Sam! And if you dirtbags don't
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sign these papers, you're gonna take a
bullet from me!
71
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:11,860
Uh, this deal sounds pretty good.
72
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,520
You know, free explosives?
73
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,380
Uh, yeah. If you're gonna sign up, I
guess I will, too.
74
00:06:20,860 --> 00:06:21,900
Very good.
75
00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:28,420
Seems you boys are listed by signing
yourself a rank. So, which one of you
76
00:06:28,420 --> 00:06:34,100
signed up as Major Woody and Private
Park?
77
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Why, you little pinkos!
78
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,400
This kicks ass.
79
00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:58,740
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
80
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,720
Ryan Johnson looks like he's taking a
dump.
81
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:19,280
Yeah, man.
82
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He's constipated to his own.
83
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:12,840
You think we're on, like, a highway to
hell?
84
00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,280
Yeah.
85
00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:26,470
These guys dress cool.
86
00:08:27,610 --> 00:08:30,210
Yeah. They always wear the same thing.
87
00:08:31,130 --> 00:08:32,130
Yeah.
88
00:08:32,909 --> 00:08:35,390
Hey, we always wear the same thing.
89
00:08:36,890 --> 00:08:37,890
Yeah.
90
00:08:38,909 --> 00:08:40,809
I've had this shirt on for six months.
91
00:08:41,929 --> 00:08:42,929
Yeah.
92
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:45,550
I've had this shirt on for seven months.
93
00:08:46,530 --> 00:08:47,670
That was cool.
94
00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:01,430
I got his bullets. What'd you get?
95
00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:19,810
That was cool.
96
00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:25,150
Smoke.
97
00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:27,630
Yeah, smoke is cool.
98
00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:35,670
Whoa,
99
00:09:38,730 --> 00:09:39,910
this video's cool.
100
00:09:40,230 --> 00:09:41,230
Yeah.
101
00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:43,690
These guys should be on TV constantly.
102
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:08,689
What's he saying?
103
00:10:08,690 --> 00:10:09,690
I'm a drag?
104
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:10,810
I'm a drag.
105
00:10:12,050 --> 00:10:13,670
He's saying mama drag.
7108
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