Original subtitles

I think birth control is a very important issue in a woman's life.

I've looked into all the options and... One week only! The Stinch Brothers

Traveling Carnival!

Ride! Game!

That's stupid.

Fun for all!

If you're dead.

And the testiest freaks you'll ever see in this lifetime!

Whoa. Maybe they got one of those dudes with two butts.

Yeah.

That would be cool.

We're there, dude.

Whoa,

these chicks are pretty tough.

Yeah, I didn't know girls were cool.

I don't know what it is.

Something's wrong with our eyes.

These guys

are pretty cool.

Even though they're 60.

Yeah.

That one guy is 69.

He looks like Vanilli.

Hit him. Hit him. Hit him. Yeah.

Just keep playing.

Yeah. Everything's cool.

Is that fucked?

Yeah. We should have waited longer.

And everybody knows it's wrong.

But we can tell them no. Or we can let it go. But I will be hanging on.

Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Cool.

Oh.

Airbag. Fuck.

Yeah.

Step

right

up and see the gorilla boy.

Once an ordinary everyday teenager in honor of...

Come right in here, folks. Come on. See the half -and -half woman man.

Born with two perfect and functioning sets of gender organs.

Folks, he's never lonely on Saturday night.

Check this out.

Excuse me, sir.

Which way is the dude with two butts?

Hey, get lost.

Cool.

She tucks her legs behind her head and walks on her hands. She twists and turns

like a human pretzel.

Fellas, a public promenade is no place to describe what else she does.

But let me put it this way.

The little lady bends north, south, east, west, and all points in between.

Born without a solid bone in her body, she's the rubber band lady.

Wow. That looks cool.

I'm there, dude.

Whoa.

Cop of feel.

Yeah.

Dude, I'm pitching a tent.

Thank you very much, folks. Step to the left. Plenty of other attractions still

open. Move it, folks. Thank you. Get out.

We can't leave, dude.

Yeah, we gotta meet the chick.

We'll be back with more.

Come on in, boys.

Now, why don't you boys tell me what brings you back here?

We want to know how you do that stuff.

I'm double -jointed, hon.

Double -jointed?

Come on, boys.

I ain't got all night. How do you want it?

Want what?

Come on, Sonny. Nobody's that stupid.

Tell me what's your pleasure and we'll negotiate.

What do you like, boys? What do you like?

Uh, I like to blow up lizards.

Yeah, I like to burn stuff.

This room's bothering you, Tiffany.

Whoa. It's that gorilla dude. Yeah. Their indecisiveness is cutting into my

day. Look, this is your lucky day, fellas.

Capisce? You've seen the act. The lady does things with a body that you'll

dream about when you're 95 and can't hold your water.

But she's short on patience and don't like being joked around.

So you got a special trick in mind. Let's hear it now.

That would be cool.

Could you pick your butt with your nose?

Hey,

where's Tito?

Isn't that Jermaine, dude?

They're in a rubber.

Yeah. This should have been the Super Bowl halftime show.

Yeah, that would have been cool.

Yeah, they could have had everybody get inside a big rubber.

Hey, Beavis, guess where his hand's been?

Yeah.

Where's Tito?

Tito!

Tito is cool.

Yeah.

Tito rules.

He used to be in the Village People.

Yeah.

This is torture.

Change it. Yeah.

Yeah.

You're a man?

No way.

He's not even a boy.

He's Boy George.

This video needs some, like, car accidents.

Yeah, yeah, with lots of fire.

Said it would be cool.

Hey, Beavis, is this supposed to be like in the future?

Yeah. The future sucks.

Change it.

I'm pretty cool, Beavis, but I can't change the future.

Experience an unforgettable lesson in Mother Nature's cruel sense of humor. I

know you've seen Siamese twins. I know you've seen geeks bite heads off

chickens. But not since the collapse of South Korea's Hmong dynasty in the year

467 B .C. has the world seen the rare and terrifying combination of chicken

-head -biting Siamese twin geeks.

This costume sucks.

Yeah.

Ow, watch it, dude. You're pulling my stitches.

The ketchup, dude.

This reminds me of the love boat.

Yeah.

Remember that time Christy McNichol was on?

Yeah. Her and Isaac did the wild thing.

And then Captain Stuby got her.

This video is confusing.

Yeah.

It's all, like, complicated.

This video is over my head.

Yeah.

It's under my butt.

I don't like videos that suck.

Yeah. Me too.